Pause and Reflect
Life isn’t a marathon or a sprint. It’s a series of sprints.
I’m a member of the Elevated Coaches Academy, helmed by Raylen Davis. He is a powerful coach and has brought a group of gifted, purpose-driven coaches together that are making an impact in the world. Recently he shared an interesting insight that he learned from his wrestling coach when he was younger. His coach spoke to the analogy that many of us have heard about life being like a marathon and not a sprint. What his coach went on to clarify is that life isn’t really like either, nor would we want it to be. Let me explain. If life was like a sprint, as in the context of this well-known analogy, it would be exhausting because we are constantly going full-out at top speed, which is meant for short distances. If life was like a marathon, it would be a never-ending endurance race with no opportunities for rest and reflection. What Raylen’s coach went on to clarify is that life is like a series of sprints with time for rest and reflection in between. The hustle culture and constant content creation that we feel the need to perpetuate have shifted us into a sense of the marathon race of life.
Focus on your own rhythms and patterns.
We each have our own rhythms, patterns, and vibrations that we connect with in our life. My wife has a faster vibration than I do. Mine is more slow and steady. Once we recognized that her vibration is faster than mine we were able to discern between the two and how we each show up in life. We can use that information when we travel, interact with friends and family, or go shopping at the supermarket. Recognizing our rhythms can help to clarify our process, our timing, and our cadence for what works for us, whether in our business or our personal life. So many experts share their methods and processes for getting to a solution faster, easier, and with fewer mistakes. The truth is that we need to look within ourselves for our answers. Yes, we don’t need to reinvent the wheel and other people’s methods can be helpful to find our own, but inevitably it is up to us to experiment and choose what works best for us. One way to do that is to slow down, pause, and reflect on what’s been working and what hasn’t.
Focus on the people that make you smile.
What people in your life spark joy and make you feel good when you’re with them? I invite you to reflect on those you surround yourself with and how they make you feel. They say that is what people remember us for when it’s all said and done. If we choose to continue surrounding ourselves with people that make us feel small or put us down, we are choosing to stay the victim. We are choosing to be who we were, not who we can be. Take a chance and reach out to the types of people that you want to surround yourself with. Put it out there. You’ll be surprised how the universe will show up for you when you show up. By setting intentions, asking yourself what you really want, and choosing that path, you put in motion the possibility for the future that you can and will create. No one is going to come and save you. However, your loved ones that truly care about you will always be there to help you up when you stumble and fall. It’s up to us to choose and walk our path in life. Focus on being with the people that make you smile, make you laugh, that make you live!
Focus on the things that make you smile.
What do you find yourself doing throughout the day? What percentage of your daily actions are truly serving you and the best version of yourself that want to be? How do you start and end your day? How much time are you spending on your phone or in the social feeds ingesting what others are doing instead of sharing what you are doing? What projects are you working on for yourself or for your clients? Are they feeding your soul and building on the service of others? Do they make you smile? What would actions can you be taking or projects could you be working on that make you smile? We can get sucked into feeling like we have to do everything because we want to save time or money. We feel like we will do it right and it will take too long to teach someone else how to do what we do. We might not want to share how we do something because we don’t want to seem incompetent. We may not want to show our process because we might be laughed at or caught for being the imposter that we are. Meanwhile, the thing that really gets people to invest in you and your work is your story, your process, and your journey. I constantly remind clients of this as we discuss their work and their resistance to sharing these “behind-the-scenes” aspects of our work, our creations, and ourselves. One of my favorite things about movies is the featurettes, like the behind-the-scenes stories, the gag reels, and how the movie was made. I love these almost if not more than the movies themselves. This is where we get a peek behind the curtain to see how these talented, creative beings worked together to tell a story that captivated and moved us so deeply. This is the same for you and your work. My invitation is to do the work that makes you smile. Delegate, automate, or eliminate the things that don’t. Document your process, your journey, and your story. Then share it with others so they can choose to be on that journey with you. They can also choose to work with you and support you along the way.
Focus on clients that make you smile.
Are you in a state of anxiety when speaking with clients? Are you constantly feeling fear about getting that next client or trying to find new clients? Do you put off reaching out to people because of that fear and anxiety? I was recently coaching a client through an audit of her clients. During our session, she realized that one of her clients is a “good” client. They provide a consistent amount of work throughout the year, which provides a nice chunk of revenue, and provides good projects that are fulfilling and interesting for the most part. Then we started to discuss the “bad” clients and how they constantly made her feel “less than”. They didn’t honor her and what she brings to the table. They treat her like an order taker and keep asking for more while paying less than her “good” client. They don’t see her. They don’t listen to her. They don’t allow her to show up as her complete self. They don’t trust her even though she is an expert in her field. They are more work for less money with more headaches, rushed jobs, scope creep, and so on. Does this sound familiar? We decided that this would not go on any longer. We set a boundary for her as it relates to clients moving forward. Her “good” client will be her worst client moving forward. She will no longer take on clients that show up in this way. Now that we’ve triangulated the values and “flags” that she needs to look out for with new clients, she can recognize they aren’t a good fit and either recommend someone who might be a better fit for their needs or kindly decline the work. Then she can focus on working with clients that are aligned with her, her values, and how she shows up in her business. Now, her clients will only get better from there. Not only that, but as we dove into her values, her strengths, and energies, she began to clarify three key avatars for her ideal clients that align perfectly. She can focus her time and attention on the types of clients that she can serve humbly and completely where there is an alignment between them. She doesn’t have to “sell” herself, her process, her genius, or her results. During the entire time, we discussed these three avatars she had a smile on her face and a giggle. My invitation to you is to think about your clients or customers. Do they make you smile? Who is your worst client? What if your worst client was a “good” client and only got better from there?
Slow down. Pause. Reflect. Focus your attention on what really matters for you — not others. Honor yourself. Slow down to speed up.
