Forgiveness Will Set You Free
It’s been a few weeks since I shared THE FIFTH DECISION FOR SUCCESS from Andy Andrew’s book, “The Traveler’s Gift”. I hope you’ve been following along with this journey. These decisions and the insights they convey are powerful and truly life-changing. It can be tough starting a new habit, but reading a decision daily for several weeks and the entire seven decisions over twenty-one weeks will establish a simple, quick habit to support your life in a meaningful way. As we near the final decision for success, we build up to the decision that is critical for inner peace, and inevitably your freedom. Now, it’s time to learn the SIXTH DECISION FOR SUCCESS.
THE SIXTH DECISION FOR SUCCESS
I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.
For too long, every ounce of forgiveness I owned was locked away, hidden from view, waiting for me to bestow its precious presence upon some worthy person. Alas, I found most people to be singularly unworthy of my valuable forgiveness, and since they never asked for any, I kept it all for myself. Now, the forgiveness that I hoarded has sprouted inside my heart like a crippled seed yielding bitter fruit.
No more! At this moment, my life has taken on new hope and assurance. Of all the world’s population, I am one of the few possessors of the secret to dissipating anger and resentment. I now understand that forgiveness has value only when it is given away. By the simple act of granting forgiveness, I release the demons of the past about which I can do nothing, and I create in myself a new heart, a new beginning.
I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness.
Many are the times when I have seethed in anger at a word or deed thrown into my life by an unthinking or uncaring person. I have wasted valuable hours imagining revenge or confrontation. Now I see the truth revealed about this psychological rock inside my shoe. The rage I nurture is often one-sided, for my offender seldom gives thought to his offense!
I will now and forevermore silently offer my forgiveness even to those who do not see that they need it. By the act of forgiving, I am no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts. I give up my bitterness. I am content in my soul and effective again with my fellowman.
I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly.
Knowing that slavery in any form is wrong, I also know that the person who lives a life according to the opinion of others is a slave. I am not a slave. I have chosen my counsel. I know the difference between right and wrong. I know what is best for the future of my family, and neither misguided opinion nor unjust criticism will alter my course.
Those who are critical of my goals and dreams simply do not understand the higher purpose to which I have been called. Therefore, their scorn does not affect my attitude or action. I forgive their lack of vision, and I forge ahead. I now know that criticism is part of the price paid for leaping past mediocrity.
I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive myself.
For many years, my greatest enemy has been myself. Every mistake, every miscalculation, every stumble I made has been replayed again and again in my mind. Every broken promise, every day wasted, every goal not reached has compounded the disgust I feel for the lack of achievement in my life. My dismay has developed a paralyzing grip. When I disappoint myself, I respond with inaction and become more disappointed.
I realize today that it is impossible to fight an enemy living in my head. By forgiving myself, I erase the doubts, fears, and frustration that have kept my past in the present. From this day forward, my history will cease to control my destiny. I have forgiven myself. My life has just begun.
I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly. I will forgive myself.
I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.
Andrews, Andy. The Traveler's Gift
(Possible trigger warning)
I remember hearing the chaplain speaking with my dad in the other room. My mom and I weren’t able to care for him ourselves anymore and we had to make the call for hospice to help. We realized that our three-month battle for his life was no longer a fight we could win. He fell three times in one night because he was getting confused and weaker. At this point we were so tired we took shifts watching over him. He needed an oxygen machine going twenty-four-seven to support his breathing due to lung cancer. I had to listen to music at night to fall asleep because of the stress, sadness, and that ever-present oxygen machine. Music was one of the only things that kept me going and brought peace during this time (and most of my life actually). Once the hospice care team came on board everything changed. Things got simplified. We got more support than the entire time we worked with the people in the health care system. We only had one phone number to call and they would route us our share our needs with the right person. We focused on making my dad as comfortable as possible from then on. And the amazing chaplain started to come out and check on him so he could find peace as he started to prepare for his transition from this adventure to his next as he returned to the universe.
As the chaplain spoke with him I could overhear the shame, regret, and pain he carried with him for seventy years. It burst out of him in a river of tears and silent anguish as the chaplain spoke to him about forgiveness. He shared that it was all up to him. My dad was a Christian and had been for many years. He did his best but still felt he wasn’t a good one. He didn’t feel that he deserved forgiveness, from his maker or for himself. He resisted the acceptance of his own forgiveness and took it with him to his last breath. The chaplain sat with him patiently sharing that he had already been forgiven by his maker and it was all in his hands, his powerful, strong hands. My dad was a carpenter and a craftsman. He built beautiful things. He was a nature boy. He loved working with wood and creating things from his imagination. He loved the forest and the mountains, but most of all, he loved waterfalls. We set up his iPad so he could listen to waterfalls and calming ambient music as he battled cancer and his inner demons day and night.
We all have inner demons, inner critics, and saboteurs. We also create inner pain because of them. We pass the buck and shift the blame to others for our shame, regret, and pain. It is all from within and the choices we make in life. We are only able to control what’s inside our own little Hoola hoop and no more. Forgiveness is the simple yet tough trick to moving past our transgressions and the inner transgressors we let rule our inner stories and outer conflicts. So many of the issues we face are because we don’t want to look within. Our answers to our questions are within. Our solutions to our problems are within. Our happiness is within. Our freedom is within. All because our forgiveness is within. This was the final lesson I learned from my dad. It changed my life and I’m sharing this with you to help you change yours.
My invitation to you is to read this decision for success daily for the next three weeks. You may not have been reading the others daily or at all. This one decision for your success is worth it. Forgiveness is what the world needs. It’s what we all need. It’s what you need. Forgive yourself. Forgive others — all day, every day. Remind yourself each day that you are human and then forgive yourself for whatever is vexing you or allowing you to get in your own way. Forgive that person that cuts you off on the road or at the coffee shop. Forgive your partner when they say something mean or hurtful. Forgive your parents and your children. Forgive your boss and co-workers. It starts with you. You never know. Others may start to follow along. We might just have a revolution on our hands.
Do you have a story about forgiveness that taught you a similar lesson? Let me know in the comments or email me directly if you’d prefer.
