No One is Coming to Save You

It’s a bit of tough love, but you’re gonna have to save yourself. And, remember this, my friend. You are not alone. You just have to ask for what you need and the universe will provide it. It takes three things to save yourself — awareness, acceptance, and action. You have to be aware of where you are. You have to be aware of what you need. You have to be aware of what you want. And I mean what you really want. Then you have to accept where you are and that you want to be something else or in a different place in your life. Then it’s time to put it into action, one small, humble step at a time. Then you ask for what you need. Tell the universe what that is. Tell yourself. Ask for help from a friend, a colleague, or a family member. Then take one more small, humble step the next day and the next. Know that it’s not linear. I’m going to repeat that. Life is not linear. So many of the things we engage with in life are in a box, linear, or compartmentalized. Life, however, is not. We are on a beautiful, unique, winding road that ebbs and flows like the ocean and rises and falls like the mountains. Sometimes it’s sunny skies and a light breeze and other times it’s stormy and ominous.

I remember feeling so low after I lost my dad. The months after seemed to get harder as his loss become more real. I was at the lowest point I had ever been. We were a year into the pandemic, the world was imploding on itself, Mother Nature was cleaning house in a big way, I was on unemployment because we weren’t able to be on set for photography or video shoots, and my partner and our two fur babies, Midi and Mojo, were isolated from our friends and family. I started to have very dark thoughts. It felt like the storm clouds were rolling in on humanity and the world as we knew it. I was out of shape and overweight. Yep, I had gained the Covid-19 (pounds) too. I mean, did you see how often I was perfecting my homemade pizza?! It was a repeat request in our household (and still is, actually).

Thinking back, getting to cook and share my love through food with loved ones is one of my favorite things. I love breaking bread and connecting with friends, family, and strangers, that generally become quick friends over a nice meal. One of my icons and mentors in life, Anthony Bourdain, helped show me how food is a connector for us, no matter where we are from, what we look like, our story, our station in life, or any other label we tend to put on ourselves. Travel, culture, and food are a few of the things I have been fortunate to experience in my life that have taught me the power of connection and that we are one, big, beautiful community — one organism that is connected from the smallest atom to the largest galaxy. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the past few years is that we need each other. We need a community to survive. We also need to appreciate and respect our own uniqueness in the midst of all being one big organism, working together toward our own, unwritten, magical destiny.

As with many of us with a sensitive connection to others through our empathy, I was compelled to stop watching the news and reading the tragic stories online and in my feed. I started feeling a need to shine my light on the world to counteract the darkness I saw reaching out across the globe. I felt something stirring inside. A will. A will to live. A will to heal. A will to not only strive but to thrive in a world that I could and would create for myself, from the inside out. I began to will myself back to life. I started to see the possibility for hope, which felt like it was diminishing more and more with each passing day, and each passing life added to a growing statistic in my own country and in every other country around the globe. I started to ask the universe for help. I started to whisper my intentions softly in my mind, and then louder as that stirring began to grow, like a weed in the cracks of the sidewalk, life found a way.

Slowly I began to receive the help I requested. My trainer and health coach, David Martin appeared. I reached out and asked if we could chat about his program. With him being in Thailand, and the opportunity to work with a fellow nomad, explorer, light-bringer, and friend, I knew there was a good chance that I had a new guide on my path back to the living. I shared that I wanted to change my relationship with food, wanted to have a healthy lifestyle, and become something that I had teased throughout my life but never fully committed to like I was timidly beginning to feel the call to do. He shared his program and the possibilities to do just that. He welcomed me with open arms and an inspiring spirit that I could tell felt good and right for my intentions. I made the commitment and we started to do the work. I had begun my journey of saving myself from the abyss that was trying so intently to swallow me whole, once and for all. I invested in myself and my will to live. I invested in a coach that was perfectly aligned with my values, my desires, and my goals, even though I didn’t quite know exactly what they were yet. I invested in my own personal health and well-being.

What I have inevitably learned over the last eight months of our work together, as I reflect on the conclusion of our second 16-week program together, is that the work we’ve been doing together has been not only life-changing but critical to my other areas of healing and growth. Putting in the work on my body, getting connected to my body more, and having a physical outlet to work through the struggles in my mind have been pivotal to my journey as a business owner, creative person, partner, friend, and human. We all have our own demons or spirits that pop up from time to time and try to take over the driver’s seat in our lives. Being able to get out of my head and into my body has been such a blessing, even as I sometimes resist it, kicking and screaming. I have never regretted working out. I have regretted NOT working out. The sense of accomplishment, the feeling of strength and power, and the fatigue of my muscles that are so powerful shake off whatever demons are stirring that day. Slowly over these eight months, I’ve been getting in the best shape of my life, rebuilding myself from the inside out, like the phoenix from the ashes.

No matter where you might be in your life, whether you need mental support, physical accountability, spiritual encouragement, career advice, or relationship guidance, ask for help. Maybe you are also at a place in your life like I was. Maybe you feel stuck and like you are in a state of inertia. Maybe you feel lost and like your compass is spinning all over the place. Maybe you feel like you’re treading water in a never-ending, vast sea. All you have to do is have the awareness, accept you are where you are and that you want to make a change, and then take action. Look within. Get quiet. Listen to what’s between the sounds of your heartbeat. Listen for that voice inside that’s been trying to get your attention to do that thing you’ve been scared to do, or you think your friends or family are going to think you’re crazy for doing. Then once you know what you need or want for yourself, even if it’s just a small beacon of light on the horizon, swim to it. Take that small, humble step toward it. Ask for help. Ask the universe for guidance and support and encouragement and accountability along the way. Forgive yourself when you stumble and fall. Pick yourself back up. Dust yourself off. Laugh about the learning lesson. Celebrate the wins as the beacon gets closer and brighter. Invest in yourself. Explore the possibilities that await you and your one, magical life. Each one of us is a miracle that has already happened. Living your purposeful life is the second miracle that you get to choose for yourself.

Take the step. Do the thing. Write your own story. Find your calling. Embrace your power. Create with purpose. Serve others. Choose life.

Save yourself.