Empathy is an essential practice
Stay curious about yourself and others
In this week’s solo episode, I talk about some lyrics from Depeche Mode’s song, Walking in My Shoes, that have been repeating in my mind over the last couple of months and how they feel so relevant right now. I give a shout out to music artist EyeLoveBrandon for the amazing work he is cranking out (like Star Child), and share a beautiful moment that Brandon posted on Twitter recently of his father playing the piano. I talk about the book, The Four Agreements (*affiliate link), and the big impact this little book has had on me over the years, and how it can help you to start your day off right.
Walking in My Shoes by Depeche Mode
Songwriter: Martin Gore
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Now I'm not looking for absolution
Forgiveness for the things I do
But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes
You'll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes
LINKS
Depeche Mode - Walking In My Shoes
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
TRANSCRIPT
[0:00] Music.
[0:08] Welcome to ärtful, a community committed to championing artists and creative misfits from all walks of life.
This show gives you an insiders look into the rial, scrappy lives of artists creating with purpose, including interviews with beatboxers, graffiti writers, DJs, chefs, photographers, designers, illustrators, filmmakers, and music artists from around the globe as well as insights and inspiration from yours truly. I'm Gabriel if an award-winning artist, coach, entrepreneur and fellow misfit. All right, let's do this.
[0:39] Music.
[0:51] Before I start today. I want to share a shout out to dub 619 for the review in iTunes.
Quote. Purely authentic. I had the pleasure of meeting gay while he was holed up in behind Mico.
We had the most interesting conversation about the world. Podcasting and creativity.
[1:13] It was a great our I can't stand superficial small talk. Our conversation was far from that.
I find his podcast to deliver the same substantive and useful information as our initial conversation.
I've gone back to the artful well to drink many times since.
Keep up the great work, Gabe, we'll dub 619 Thank you so much.
I really appreciate that review that is so awesome. And I'm the same way.
Obviously, I can't stand superficial small talk.
So I'm glad that our conversation and the show is doing the same for you.
You're able to come back and get something from it. So thank you so much.
I wanted to start with this song that for the last several weeks while we've been going through all these things in the world has been just stuck in my brain.
And I'm a big I love eighties music.
Um, until early, uh, into that style I especially love,
vapour wave and synth wave Dark Wave, That revival that's come up Very stranger things kind of vibe if you're into that show Very similar vein.
[2:30] But one of the bands that I'm a big fan off from back then is Depeche Mode, and there's a song that they do called Walking in my Shoes.
And it's interesting because I was thinking about these lyrics and I just had this song like, If I'm running on the beach or,
just taking a walk, are you trying to just deal with a heavy day which have been more often lately up for many of us?
[2:58] And this song has been in my head, and I wanted to read the lyrics for you that have been repeating over and over in my brain.
And, you know, it was interesting when I read the full lyrics and was thinking about the context outside of the song but the actual lyrics as I was reading them and listen to this song over and over.
I recognize that holistically, the song is not relevant to right now. But thes thes lyrics really, really spoke to me, and they just seem very relevant for right now, So I wanted to share them.
Now I'm not looking for absolution, forgiveness for the things I do.
But before you come to any conclusions, try walking in my shoes.
Try walking in my shoes.
[3:47] You'll stumble in my footsteps. Keep the same appointments I kept.
If you try walking in my shoes, if you try walking in my shoes, try walking in my shoes.
[4:02] And I just Yeah, I don't know if its gets how it's running, and I would see footsteps in the sand,
but I kept thinking about those words about you'd stumble in my footsteps if you kept the same appointments I kept and I've been thinking about,
you know, as a white male.
[4:26] You know, empathy is something that has come more naturally for me than some people.
And so it's something that I think I've also taken for granted on, and I've been really looking at that over the last several years,
and the time that we're in right now, it really makes me feel like this is a time to be,
looking at empathy and practicing empathy more than ever.
And this song really resonates with me in that way of thinking about this context, around empathy and understanding what other people go through.
And I think that's been one of the beautiful things about the black lives, matter, movement and how people's voices air being elevated.
I've said for a long time I really made it very clear that I wanted this to be a safe space.
I wanted to be a platform for people of all walks of life to be able to share their story and their art and their craft and how they got where they are, what makes them tick, what makes them do what they do.
[5:36] But over these last several months, you know, that's definitely gotten elevated, and it's just made me lean more and more into this work.
And as I've said in social and to my Friends and and online, to get off the sidelines and to be an ally,
do not no longer be quiet to no longer take the fact that generally historically, I could be quiet but still be a silent ally and feel like I was doing my part,
because it didn't affect me the same.
And that's something that the conversation that's being had over these last several months these last two months, specifically that.
[6:29] Is really starting to become such.
It's no longer quiet. It's no longer this unseen, unspoken, you know, let's just keep moving on, get back to normal.
I've already seen it in social media, where ads are starting to pop back up and a lot of people are boycotting and and things like that, the bigger companies.
But there's a lot of other people that aren't, you know, and we're seeing such a range of emotion and physicality between people.
It's some of it has been absolutely disgusting to me.
Some of it has been beautiful. And that's something I wanted to talk about a little bit.
Is that you know, I've done a lot of work at managing my feeds.
You know, people talk about doom, scrolling and all this stuff.
You know what? I'm definitely have fallen victim to that, you know, and had some days that were really rough because I just saw way too many people being at their worst the one great thing that has really happened.
Those with all of this happening, it's just pushed me more and more and more because I realized I can do better. I can do more.
I'm not at my maximum. I could be more supportive. Aiken, be more vocal.
[7:45] I can work harder and making sure that there's a balance of people on my show and that I am serving and that I am supporting and that I am curating and that I am,
acknowledging and.
[8:02] That I'm listening to and that I'm providing this platform as a white male.
[8:09] Because I empathize and I'm I'm walking in their shoes.
I'm doing the work to learn and listen and understand,
mawr and better what I've had the privilege to not have to deal with day in and day out.
And it's this really heavy times, you know, it's really serious stuff.
I want to keep things light as well. I want toe enjoy the beautiful side of life and the things that light me up.
I'm a very positive person. I'm an optimist.
I believe that there is a tomorrow and I believe that today is so important but that there is a tomorrow toe work for.
I spoke recently about how important is to show up today, and it's not about tomorrow.
But that's part of what got us where we are is that,
you know, like with the planet with climate change, with the way that we as a society have treated not only each other but Mother Earth and it's time to be accountable.
[9:28] And it's time to empathize. It's time to practice.
It's hard, it's hard work.
I understand it's hard work. I've been reading a lot in my feeds how tired people are, and a lot of the people I follow obviously creators and we're tired,
But there's so many out there that are just leaning harder into it and are working harder and cranking out beautiful work and honoring each other.
There's a guy that I've found cause I've really started expanding my feed to be even more diverse.
And I'm gonna give a shout out toe. I love Brandon and that's E Y E love, Brandon, I got to tell you, I'm gonna have him on the show soon. We've already started talking.
[10:20] This cat is off the hook, he writes.
Amazing, jazzy chill hop lounge E sexy R and B infused awesomeness, and I love his work.
But he's also a writer. He's co creator on this animal called Starchild.
That's in development, and it's just such a great story.
The main character looks like him. And so you've got this black protagonist this leading this story with a mech best friend, and it's this beautiful animate.
The same production house that worked on Castle Vania on Netflix is working on this and it's absolutely amazing, but the music is just gets me high.
I mean, I love it. I was sharing it with Tiff.
Today was just like, Oh my God, you gotta hear this guy and his father is just an amazing pianist.
On Father's Day, he shared a piece of his father playing piano, and it was absolutely exquisite.
And it's so lovely to see those kinds of things in the feed and to see a love of ah son who is a musician.
[11:39] And an artist and who has this amazing father,
to to be proud of in tow honor on his father on Father's Day and t also honor him by continuing to pass on that torch and to keep going with.
Even though it's it's a more modernized type of music, it's just Oh my God, he does a song that goes from 68 to 4. For those of you that don't know music bear with me.
But it changes time signatures, and it's so masterfully done.
I just It's awesome and it's really I love chill hop.
We were doing a night in Denver before we started our trip called Low Fi, and it was trip hop. Shohat Lo Fi.
Ah, a lot of this more kind of left field stock style music that some of you, if you're not, you know, deep into the underground music scene, you won't know.
But for the younger folks, you've probably heard of it. It's a really big following on YouTube.
You confined music to chill, to music, to study, to chill hop chilled cow chill, hot music, which Brandon's apart of.
I mean, there's just tons of stuff out there, really good music.
Really, really, really good music. And it's so great to study, too. So chill.
[13:01] But I just wanted to talk about this. The juxtaposition of how empathizing with others you can tap into these whole new arenas of things that you might not have known about.
Or, you know I can appreciate, you know, And to see this young man share this video is Father, who's this absolutely exquisite pianist,
and just the love and the respect that he has first father, and then to see how he honors that day in and day out,
by continuing that journey is an artist in his own way as a lover of anime and manga and is a lover of,
she'll hop and hip hop and these, you know, modern styles of music.
And I just I wanted Teoh give a shout out to him as well, because I just love seeing that much fervor and passion,
for your craft, watching him and Twitter just getting down while he's sharing his music and seeing how much it lights him up.
You can't that you just can't pay for that.
My mission is to share those kinds of people with you so that you will realize how amazing we all are.
[14:17] And that we can empathize with each other and connect with each other.
And we can get past this pedi small minded thinking that some people just don't want to let go of.
And I'm sure it's because of fear, because they're afraid to let go of this power that they feel like they have.
But there's there's such a beauty and such a an amazing place on the other side.
I've been having exchanges with Brandon for weeks now, and it just it just blows my mind.
How amazing people like this are, like, just there's so many different kinds of people out there doing amazing different kinds of art, and it doesn't matter what they look like. They're they're just awesome people.
I know most of you that are listening to this. I'm preaching to the choir.
[15:14] But there might be that one person that hears this, that they're still fighting something, and they're still not wanting to let go.
That power to echo back to the interview that I did with Reggie and a mole Episode 39 we discussed the Civil same process Celestine prophecy,
and I went and finally finished it, and it speaks to this process that we need to go through to evolve around discontinuing this need to give and take our power.
But just Teoh let it be this fluid,
beautiful exchange of understanding and empathy and,
sharing in the wealth of abundance and creativity and positivity and freedom, and and moving forward instead of this fear of losing some power That's pointless in the first place,
because on the other side of it is this beautiful space.
[16:21] There's another book that I read a long time ago called The Four Agreements and My Aunt and Jenny.
We call her Yoda, and that's definitely on a loving term.
But we call her Yoda because she's just she's just a guru and, um, she's a Jet I.
[16:40] But she told me about this book, and she talked about how good it was for her and her partner and because that's important to me as well.
With my partner, I sat down and read it, But the thing is, this is all about how to interact and to engage is a human.
And it's wonderful cause there's four agreements. There's another book called the Fifth Agreement Haven't read that one yet, so I must speak to this. One is called The Four Agreements.
A Practical Guide to personal freedom.
Now I highly recommend it. It's really good. It's not that long, but basically the four agreements are I will be impeccable with my word.
[17:18] I will not take anything personally anything in the book, it says.
Even if somebody walk up, walked up to you, shot you in the face with a gun, then still not take it personally or shot you period with a gun to not take it personally because it has nothing to do with you.
The third agreement is I will not make assumptions, which is something we do all day long, all day long.
[17:43] All these little micro assumptions and these big ones that have just been so built into your story and the way that you have just developed in how you engage and react and,
uh, how we react to situations.
And then finally, the fourth agreement is I will do my best. Now the interesting thing is we here I will be impeccable with my word is the first thing. And you think that's not too bad.
But when you read the book and you get deeper about what it means to be impeccable with your word, it's about being impeccable to you yourself and a lot of us out there.
We need to be reminded you are enough. I do it every day.
I have a reminder in my phone that I click when I tell myself I am enough.
I tell my partner constantly, she is enough.
But it's also being impeccable. Toe others and about others. When you're talking to people about other people, and that one is actually generally the hardest.
But once you get over that hill, you've got three more that are really, really hard.
[18:51] So they really all have significance. But I wanted to share them because I feel like these are the kinds of things that for me have helped me by having this mantra in the morning of reiterating to myself.
I will be impeccable with my word.
I will not take things personally. I will not make assumptions. I will do my best today.
[19:16] Saying that mantra along with just being grateful,
for being alive that day, being able to share love and light with world that day really helps me to get centered and to feel empowered in the day and like how I can show up and help others.
How I can live the best day, how I can do my best. How do I do my best?
And that's something that has become a practice, which I said at the top of this episode.
[19:47] It's about practice. Life is practice.
[19:53] We practice yoga. We practice meditation. Exercise is a practice.
Being an artist is practice. It's all practice were practicing Lynn life, and that's what I wanted to talk about in this week's episode is around practicing empathy,
walking in other people's shoes, listening to what they go through and not getting so centered about what you're going through and comparing it and being like, Ah, my life is worse.
It's not a comparison, but when it comes to everyone on this planet living a life of equality and equity.
[20:37] This is another one of those things that is just so important for us to practice.
[20:43] Because everyone deserves it, including you keep being are full.
I love you.
[20:51] Music.
[20:58] Well, that's it for this episode, whether this is your first time listening or you're already a fan. Thanks for being here.
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Thanks again for listening until next time keep being.
[21:37] Music.
