053: Meridith Grundei — Be a Confident, Credible Speaker
Public speaking coach talks about how to be a confident, credible speaker
Meridith Grundei is a public speaking coach and change maker. As an award-winning theatre director, producer, and former Second City improv teacher, she recognized the similarities between performing for audiences on stage every night and presenting to clients/colleagues every day, but the latter didn’t have the right tools to bring their stories to life. So she decided to do something about it. She specializes in presentation and public speaking consultation, individual training and development, and creative team solutions using improvisational theatre techniques to build trust, empathy, and out-of-the-box thinking. 11 Years and some change later, Grundei Coaching has helped thousands of individuals and corporations craft engaging presentations and authentic stories to achieve career growth and success.
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TRANSCRIPT
ep 053: Be a Confident, Credible Speaker with Meridith Grundei
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[00:00:00] Hi and welcome. The Artful Podcast is an interview show where you'll get to know the people behind the creative brands we love. These open, casual, and candid conversations will shed a light on what it's really like to reach your true potential with joy, fulfillment, and freedom. Presented by Artful and hosted by Gabe Ratliff, an award-winning artist, entrepreneur, and coach. Are you ready to create your artful life? If so, then tune in, turn up, and listen hard.
[00:01:05] Meredith. Oh my gosh. Welcome to the show. I'm so excited to have you here,
[00:01:13] I'm excited to be here. This is a i Gabe, we've had already had a fantastic conversation before this and so I'm excited to see what else we have to talk.
[00:01:25] here, here. And and thank you again. It was so great talking with you recently. I'm just, I'm so excited to grow our friendship and to just learn more about you and to share with the audience. So, girl, talk to me. do you explain what you do?
[00:01:47] How do I explain what? Oh, I'll do my pitch. Are you ready? When people Okay. When you hire me, you'll be a more confident, incredible speaker who will be able to inspire and educate any audience.
[00:01:58] Oh, hey.
[00:02:00] I think I wanna cut out the be able part, though. You will inspire and educate.
[00:02:06] interesting note there. I remember, I, I was actually thinking, I'm thinking about this often cuz I have, I have like my morning mantra when I do yoga and, and like and I've been crafting it for a while now to like get into this space around you know, like starting my day, you know, empowering my day, get, getting into a good mindset, all those things, right?
[00:02:27] Motivators, things like that. And it's funny because I remember several years ago that it, it felt so odd to say, so for example, part of my mantra to kind of set the tone for this is the four agreements. Are you familiar with the four agreements?
[00:02:46] you've written about them?
[00:02:47] I have, yes. I, I just, my Aunt Jenny, we call her, we call her Yoda
[00:02:53] She, she, she's just so wise and I love her to death. And, and, and, She turned me onto this book, Reddit loved it. And I have kept it with me because I feel like it's such great reminders for us to live good lives and be good humans, you know? And so you've got I will, and, and this is where I'm connecting to what you just said.
[00:03:14] So I will be impeccable with my word. I will not take anything personally. I will not make assumptions, and I will always do my best. Right. But all, all through those you're saying I will. Right? And I remember I used to struggle with that. I'm like, man, telling myself I will do this. Like, I felt like it was so like, demanding, you know?
[00:03:32] And like, like like kind of dominating. And I had this really interesting, it was like my judge was like coming up and like was struggling with this. Like, I will do this. And like how as like, aggressive that seemed to me. And so I, I I, I had this whole different language and then I realized like, we're, we're actually setting, it's exactly what you just said.
[00:03:54] We're just setting that tone for. We we're, even if you don't achieve it every day, right. It's like, even if you, even in the, it's all in the practice, but like, even if, if it by, by just, it's like when people say it, like trying, I find like my coach called out to me recently that I said trying
[00:04:11] Mm-hmm.
[00:04:12] and and I'm giving it back to you in just a second.
[00:04:14] I just, I just, well, you said
[00:04:16] No, I think this is great. I'm listening. I love this. I
[00:04:18] ugh. So
[00:04:20] yeah. The way we speak is so pa Yes. Trying is one. And also I'm working on is another one too, or you can, can you
[00:04:34] or will you? Right. So it's, I have found it powerful. The first time I was turned onto the will language, like I will, was in grant writing and I have not written a lot of grants and I am said, don't your listeners, please don't come to me for grant writing, but I just remember it being, oh, that's right.
[00:04:55] This is more like action oriented. I, it's gonna happen versus passive language. Like, you know, I haven't, we intend to, I remember I used to write intend, I intend to, oh, no one cares if you intend to. Everyone has grain intentions, but what are you gonna do with it? So, yeah.
[00:05:23] I love that. And, and that's ex You nailed it. That's actually even more concise way to put it. Right? It's really passive language. And I didn't realize in script writing, right? Like that's something that I learned in the in script writing, right? Is you're getting this place of like, being. non passive, you know?
[00:05:42] Because that, that just doesn't work for a good script. And, and I started to learn that and I was like, fuck, I didn't realize how much I was fighting in this passive tense. And I was like, holy shit. And, you know, gets you really present to that when you're in that pa place of like, Hmm. And like it. And that's what I found.
[00:06:00] This is so interesting cuz when you just said that, I'm gonna take this out and get just, I'm, it's gonna be, I will,
[00:06:07] Well, because it, I will be able to, is it still sounds passive and the I be able is actually a filler of mine. I realized I do it in my writing. I do it when I'm talking and I unconsciously, even though I've written down that pitch a gazillion times, I still say Be able out loud. It's fascinating. So I still, in my subconscious, unconscious brain don't wanna fully commit.
[00:06:39] Right. Yeah. It
[00:06:40] Right.
[00:06:41] commitment. Yeah.
[00:06:42] Even though, yes, I want my clients to own it and own the stage, and I own it as a coach and I get more and more confident as a coach every day. And of course I have my setbacks cuz I'm a human being. But I still put that and be able, so I, I'm glad I caught it. And I think that's the first step is catching when you're doing it.
[00:07:07] Mm. Well, you just made me think again because, so, so the way I start my mantra in the morning is I say thank
[00:07:14] you. Just thank you. Just thank you to the universe. Like, thank you, period. And then I say, right, like, just, I don't, we don't need to tack anything else on, just thank.
[00:07:27] Thank you for my new car. I
[00:07:30] Right, right, right.
[00:07:32] Dear Jesus
[00:07:35] Yeah. Like So
[00:07:38] dear.
[00:07:40] dear Santa Jesus. So, and then I move on to I'm grateful for the, so this is the interesting thing you just made me think of. So I, what I then move on to is I'm grateful for the ability to breathe in another glorious day.
[00:07:58] Mm
[00:07:59] mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[00:08:01] comes back. It's interesting there cuz I'm thinking about Mm. Cuz I say ability. And you're talking about being able to. and this is about speaking in language. So I feel like this is really fun little exercise we're getting into here. And then I move on to say and to breathe out love and light into the world, right? So I'm breathing in another glorious day and to breathe out love and light into the world.
[00:08:22] So it's kind of this like ebb and flow, like the ocean of like, Hey, thank you for breathing life into me again another day. And then letting me be able to like put something back out into the world that's positive. And so I'm like thanking the universe and then, and then we move on to that. But it's funny because mine has that for the ability to, and it's interesting cuz as you bring that up, I think, hmm.
[00:08:45] How does that apply there? But in your
[00:08:48] the ability to, mm-hmm.
[00:08:50] because I'm thinking, well the universe has given me the ability to breathe in another day, right? Like I've been fortunate to like wake up today. Over the last few years, that's become a lot more of a thing of like being very grateful for that. Like we've seen on a grand scale, like that's a big deal.
[00:09:09] And we're also out here living l I v I N. And you're talking about in this context, right? It's like as opposed to I will and like committing and owning, like owning your power and being out there on stage or being, giving a presentation, all these different contexts that it's not about that I will be able to, it's that I will.
[00:09:32] I will, yeah. I, I will own my voice. I will own my story. I will own the stage. I will own. It's so hard for, for people to own. We hide when it comes to owning our voices a lot on social media, I feel it's kind of, we all have a platform to use our voice, and some of us are using it. We're able to say things we weren't able to say before.
[00:10:06] but it's still it. There's something very different about using your voice in a public space where all of you is being seen and witnessed. So I call people to be confident in that uncomfortable space where they're allowing their full selves to be seen.
[00:10:27] that's what you do.
[00:10:29] And that's what I do.
[00:10:30] That's what you do.
[00:10:31] That's what I, I love doing that. I love, love, it.
[00:10:35] Hmm.
[00:10:36] Yeah.
[00:10:37] Well, and, and with courage, right? Like that's what I heard in there. Is, it's like owning it all of yourself. And I'm seeing that more and more and more from people where they're like own and they're dealing with it. And I mean, I'm doing it myself. Like I'm, I'm, I'm have my own fears and, and I coming, coming out and being more confident about it.
[00:10:57] So, and I get it. Like it's, and even as a white male, like I, it's, you know, it's man, it's, I love women. I
[00:11:11] Mm-hmm.
[00:11:14] the power that women have. And it's a conversation I have with my partner constantly. Just about the power. Like, we just watched the documentary about Shead O'Connor and the fucking, yeah, we talked about that last week.
[00:11:27] The courage, the courage that she had in a time where you, you, it, it was even more daunting to, to be seen.
[00:11:39] Mm-hmm.
[00:11:40] to be heard and to have that courage. I just think it's so great that there are individuals like you out there, whether what, whatever their gender right. But that are out there enabling this right.
[00:11:56] For people to have this courage and to have a voice. And so I just want to give you kudos and commend you for the work you're doing and with this much passion because it's, I just, what a time to be doing this, right? And to have this platform.
[00:12:13] Mm-hmm. . Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. And I think, I don't think there's semantics again. I feel, I believe that there are far too many voices that don't get heard, especially in marginalized communities that need to be heard. And if I can do my little part, just my little itsy bitsy part, to help empower people to start using their voices more than the better.
[00:12:43] And even if it's, I will even say as far as in organizations just, I work with a lot of people in organizations, men and women alike of all various backgrounds. And I feel that the only way culture will change is by helping guide the individuals within the organizations to start speaking their truth and bringing all of their talents into this, into the work that they do and to, to start telling their stories in a way that feels more vulnerable.
[00:13:22] I just, I've, it's shocking to me that I've worked with several people that they are still uncomfortable sharing anything personal. , and I'm not saying unleash the most personal things about yourself. You need to feel safe in your space alongside with the bravery and the courage and, and being courageous.
[00:13:49] But simple stories about, I mean, I had one client who, oh, co. She, she's partners with her husband. They own their business together, and she never shared that piece that actually her business partner, she happens to also be married to. She thought it was too personal. I mean, little things like that, right.
[00:14:12] Where Oh, when I find that out, oh, that's, that's really cool, right? Like I, I don't know if I'd be able to own a business with my husband. Right. Not because we don't love each other. It's just we have different talents. And sometimes that separation for some couples is better. Right? But if you can make that happen, amazing.
[00:14:33] Right. So it's. It's interesting and so I really love when I get the opportunity to give people, I guess, permission to tell their stories and share a feeling. People talk around feelings a lot. They don't really actually talk about the feeling, the that itself, like they can't locate where the feeling is in their body or label what the feeling is, but they can talk about the experience around the feeling.
[00:15:04] fascinating.
[00:15:05] It is an, and that's something. So I'm really cerebral and very like, logical and, but I'm also creative.
[00:15:18] Mm-hmm.
[00:15:19] And so it's been this interesting thing because I, I'm constantly saying like, I love this and, and asking people, how do you feel? And like all these things. And I realized over the last several years that I'm that na like naming emotions and like the feeling, like the, and the difference between like, somebody recently was telling me, like, or sharing with me this wonderful insight about how en emotions are energy and motion
[00:15:47] Mm-hmm.
[00:15:48] like, wonderful.
[00:15:48] I was like, oh, that's beautiful energy and motion. Oh wow. And then they were talking about how feelings can like be like have stories assigned to them and they were going into this interesting breakdown of the discernment between emotions and feelings and how they're, they're like just a little different but in a kind of a big way.
[00:16:07] And and it was just fascinating to me. And just in general, the difference between what's up here in our brain and like
[00:16:17] what's the, what we're feeling
[00:16:22] is it's, it's, it's, I used to, like, I, I had this , I had this inter this interesting kind of like glitch of like, I was really struggling connecting to my intuition, yet I had so many friends that were like, dude, you're so intuitive.
[00:16:35] You know?
[00:16:36] And I was like, I'm broken. Yeah. I'm like, I'm broken, you know? And, and it was funny cuz I was trying to like, work it out up here as opposed to like, like listening to myself, you know? And I, that's been, I think over these last several years have been, has been like such great deep work about like getting back to like within, and I'm hearing that exact what you're saying.
[00:17:02] Like it, and that's what came up for me is just like, man, that it's like so crazy how hard that is to like, connect with that. Right. And to like be able to just language it when, like when you're a kid and you, when you see a fa facial expression, you know, it's funny how they, when they do those exercises and you're like, oh, that, yeah, happy, sad, you know?
[00:17:22] But some of them, it really gets difficult to tell. And you can't really tell what's going on inside and neither can the person. And that's why I think
[00:17:30] Right.
[00:17:31] interesting about that.
[00:17:33] Yeah, it's, it's, I find it really fascinating. I try to distill things from sensations to feelings. Like what is the sensation in your body? Or, and then, or what is a feeling? Especially when it comes to anxiety, cuz I feel, you know, when you work with people in public speaking, oftentimes the conversation around nerves and anxiety comes up.
[00:17:59] A lot of people get nervous. And I was, and, and I can say you that's right. You, you're right where you need to be. Every, you know, that means you, it, it's good. That's like your fight or flight response. And we have two choices right now. You can either keep being negative Nelly about it and saying, ah, I'm nervous, and ah, I can't do this.
[00:18:17] And ah, you know, or you can say, I am nervous and this is amazing. You know, I'm excited to get out there on stage and serve my audience. Right? So we have a choice in that intersection. And then there's anxiety, which is a totally different Burt beast because nerves actually go away once the event is over.
[00:18:34] You're not nervous when you get off stage anymore.
[00:18:36] Anxiety is, is attached to, the reason why I bring up Anxie is because it is attached to a feeling. It's usually the feeling that we're not actually tapping into. And instead what we're doing is we're putting. , whatever the worry is or the pending event is out into the future, and all the things that stack up into that until that point is causing us anxiety.
[00:19:02] So we can't fall asleep. We're not eating well, we're not hyd, whatever. Right? Versus what lives between which is that the, what is the feeling that's associated with the anxiety? And it's actually, if you just sat and went, I am feeling tremendous fear.
[00:19:22] Mm-hmm.
[00:19:23] And then you allowed yourself to just feel the feels around fear that might help subside some of that pending anxiety because that's all in the future.
[00:19:34] It's not present. So you're giving, you're giving yourself like this emotional, you're creating havoc on your body for something that's not even
[00:19:45] here.
[00:19:47] Right.
[00:19:49] and I know it's much more different for each individual. And I'm not here, like, I'm not diminishing people and anxiety cuz I know it runs rampant for a lot of people. But I do invite that question of what is the, the feeling associated with what's causing the anxiety and am I allowing myself to feel it?
[00:20:11] Yeah, I heard Mel Robbins recently, she, she did this great little video about from the context of like people that have fear of flying and that
[00:20:22] anxiety and how it's the same thing, right? Like they're, they're just in vis visualizing all this stuff. It's like the negative side of visualization, right?
[00:20:30] They're just like creeks. You know, shifts of the plane and like all of these things and the jets coming on and all this stuff, and they're just like, ah, you know, and visualizing all this stuff. Meanwhile, people fly all day long, every day. Pilots are flying every day. It's their job for eight hours, , you know, like they're just flying.
[00:20:53] At least, you know, depending on the flight. And then and she was talking about how like, you know, that there's that discernment between fear and, and excitement like you were just talking about,
[00:21:04] right? Like, and, and I loved how, what, where she was talking about is visualizing all of the exciting things you get to do after the flight.
[00:21:13] Like once you get there Right, you get to the destination. Yeah. Right? And you're like, oh, I'm gonna get to do this. I'm gonna get to do that. And like, it's what you just spoke to, right? Like when you're done with the talk. You've done it. You've, you've served your audience, you've like shared the presentation, you've knocked it out of the park.
[00:21:32] You maybe had a hiccup, maybe tech was weird like me last Friday, and it's cool you still did it and I had a live stream tech.
[00:21:45] Yeah. The
[00:21:45] Dez
[00:21:46] to swear on your podcast?
[00:21:48] Yes,
[00:21:49] good. I mean, cuz shit happens. Gabe shit happens. Shit happens
[00:21:55] and it's,
[00:21:56] It is inevitable. . It's inevitable.
[00:22:02] Yep.
[00:22:03] And so all we can do is learn how to be adaptable in the moments when the shit happens. Because if we hold too tight, it's like I always, I had a mentor who used to say, not too tight, not too loose. So if you hold too tight, it's hard to in the moment.
[00:22:26] I remember the moment too. I remember the moment when I realized the shit happened, , and I'm in the middle of the live stream and I'm going, Hmm, shit's happening.
[00:22:41] Yeah.
[00:22:42] Let's roll. Let's go with it. And just went with it. Right? Just because the show must go on. And so like the show went on. Cool. I can still, it was recorded.
[00:22:53] I can still share it. People are watching it now. Like It's cool.
[00:22:57] It's cool. It's all good. It doesn't have to be perfect. It does not have to be perfect. I always say I, I'm gonna use an example for this thought that I just popped into my head about a month ago. I was on a call, it was a networking group where they had a presenter for this particular group. and her slides weren't working.
[00:23:18] Like we could see her slides, but she couldn't see her slides. And here's a woman who's an expert in her field, and then her presentation became about the slides and how she couldn't see the slides, . And so she tried to get someone in the audience to read them for her. AMEA became a thing, and I, I share this story because what happened was she held too tight.
[00:23:44] Her agenda, right? Her agenda was, I'm gonna show these slides. This is what I've prepared. And when it didn't go the way she wanted it to, instead of being adaptable, flexible, if you will, in that moment, she held on too tight. And what we fail to remember in those moments is that it's not about you and your slides.
[00:24:06] It's a couple of things. One, it's about your audience, how you're going to add value. . And then the second thing is it's trusting, it's trusting you yourself that you're, you've been called to this table for a reason because you're an expert in what you do, and we wanna hear your amazing voice and we wanna hear your stories.
[00:24:26] And so the slides should be secondary, if anything. So I wanted to share that because I feel that that's where that not too tight, not too loose.
[00:24:38] Totally,
[00:24:39] mentality comes into play
[00:24:41] totally. Hmm. That's a great exam. And that happens, right? Like it's same
[00:24:46] all the time.
[00:24:47] it's tech,
[00:24:49] Like, you could have let, you could have let your webinar go your live stream. You could have, you could've said, I'm sorry, we're canceling today because something didn't work, or whatever. But it seems like you did fine.
[00:25:05] Yeah. Letting, yeah. Yeah. And that's it comes back to that every time, right? Is that you have the moment, there's an awareness, there's an acceptance of where you are. And then it's like, what's the action? Are you gonna, are you gonna own it? Like, are you gonna make this choice and keep going? Go for it.
[00:25:23] Like, honor what you chose to do, or be like, oh, I, I can, I, I don't have to do it now. Right? And then, and then you keep holding on to that, like, that op possibility of not doing the thing. You know, because you're like, oh, I didn't have to do it. It's like, work it out, right? You're like, oh, oh, it rained. I didn't have to go work out.
[00:25:44] As opposed to, oh, it's rained. I'll put a rain jacket on and I'll still go run or what? You know, like uh, there's people that make those decisions all the time about, oh, I'll go work out indoors at a gym, or I'll go, I'll work out inside at my house. Or it's just, it's like, no, I am the pr. That's something that helped me in my practice with fitness is like that.
[00:26:04] My coach has helped me really nurture is that it's about the being the person that is he healthy and in fitness. It's not, it's not just about, it's the same thing with like speaking or being a successful entrepreneur, like any of these things that we're helping people do, right? It's like you have to be that.
[00:26:26] You have to be that person that is a public speaker and like I'm a public speaker. I will speak publicly.
[00:26:35] Mm-hmm.
[00:26:36] I'll figure it out. Like if I have something go wrong, like as opposed to the holding on tightly of like, I need my slides to do this thing. It's like, well how else can you access your slides? Could you break out your phone and look at your, on your phone and let other people, right.
[00:26:50] Or like, what's, how do you do you need them? Right? Like you
[00:26:53] made them, do you need them? Right. If you're an expert, then can you like, Hey, I'm gonna like churn through this. If I, if I get off, will you guys like maybe let me know? Or if I'm seem to be wandering cuz they help me stay on task. Like that could be Right.
[00:27:07] Being vulnerable. And then you get that engagement and interactivity with the crowd. And those are just like, off the top of the head. But like, just as opposed to like, I'm gonna, like you said, like, I'm gonna just, I'm gonna honor my audience and serve them the best of my ability, do my best. And that's enough.
[00:27:26] Like people aren't looking to, you know, and like Brene Brown talks about after her first TED Talk, she was like, people don't want you to do bad. Like they, they,
[00:27:37] want
[00:27:37] No, they don't. they
[00:27:38] want you to succeed. I don't, I don't sit there in the audience, go, God, I hope Gabe just bombs it today. You know what I mean? Like, unless I'm like your arch nemesis or what something, you know, I, I Most people want you to succeed. I mean, there are, they are asking questions. They are judging you.
[00:28:01] That's what we do as human beings. People are asking like, who's this person? You know, what, how are they gonna solve my problem? They are asking these questions, but they're not asking for you to bomb.
[00:28:16] Right,
[00:28:18] Right? .And the other thing too, to keep in mind is that you know what goes wrong, but your audience doesn't know what's going wrong. So if you point out what you had planned is going wrong, then they're gonna know. If you just keep like, cool cucumber, this was all meant to be, they don't know.
[00:28:40] Or the humor aspect, right,
[00:28:41] Or they, yeah. Or yeah. Yeah. Self-deprecation. Why not?
[00:28:47] Comics do it all the time. Works
[00:28:49] great.
[00:28:49] the time. Yep.
[00:28:51] Works wonderfully. So I'm, I'm curious, like what, what got you into this work? What was that defining moment that got you into this work to help people tell their stories? What was your.
[00:29:07] Yeah, thank you for that question. Well, I've had a background in performance. I started off as a dancer and, and then I had a, a, an instructor that saw a show that another woman choreographed, but she gave us all lines on stage and I think I was about 11 or 12 at the time. And my line was when I grew up, I wanna be just like Wonder Woman that I got to say off stage, which was true at the time.
[00:29:36] And this, this other dance instructor, she said, you have a really lovely stage voice. You should think about acting classes. So my parents said yes to acting classes and started taking acting classes. And then I have always been very multi-passionate in that field itself, if that makes sense. Like I loved the dance and I loved straight plays and I loved comedy, and I was like, oh, I wanna be on SNL someday.
[00:30:04] And I loved kind of musical theater though. I didn't really get that bug. But I just loved being in that culture, loved it. And and so I ended up going to San Francisco where I did a lot of experimental theater, which means that most of the stuff I did was not very linear and his story, or it was devised work, which means that myself and the ensemble that I was with created our own original works.
[00:30:39] And I was in, in a sketch comedy group that was called Old Man McGinty. and I loved it and it was hilarious. I played a muskrat on roller skates that solved crime and,
[00:30:52] Yes.
[00:30:53] and I had another character called Church Camp Girl based off of my church camp years, but we won't go into that yet. And I loved so much.
[00:31:01] And then one of our members said, I'm going into Chicago, cuz I wanted study the improv. So I said, well, I wanna go to Chicago and study improv. And I interned my way through io, which was formally Improv Olympic. I think they still have a presence online, I'm not quite sure. But the building itself shut down during the pandemic.
[00:31:22] And then I was working in afterschool programs and one of the afterschool programs that is working for. There was core faculty from the second city that was teaching with me and she said, you're awesome. Do you wanna come teach at the second city? And we're starting this whole youth program. And I said yes, yes I do.
[00:31:38] Yes. And so I ended up at Second City and helped them develop their youth program, which is now huge. Now. And that was an awesome experience for me cuz I got into the door there, I was there for four years. I taught kids and adults. And it was from there where I started working with organizations and teams using improv as a team building tool for better communication, being more adaptable, flexible, trusting, all of that stuff.
[00:32:10] And I loved it and. I kept getting thrown to these, these like C-suite execs and CEOs and, Hey, this person has a conference or a convention, can you help them with their presentation? And I did. And I loved it. And I, and for a long time that was like supplemental income for me. Cuz I was also teaching at Naropa University.
[00:32:30] I'd gotten my master's degree there. I was doing shows around Denver, Colorado. I was, I, I was, I was loving it. And then I moved to New York and the pandemic hit in like a lot of artists. I was starting to get my, like, hit my stride here and I had only been in New York for a year and the pandemic hit and I was like, what do I really wanna be spending my time on?
[00:32:55] And I said, I am gonna start pivoting right now and teach people how to present better online. So I started coaching people in virtual presentations. And then it was a year ago, it'll be a year in November where I just decided I'm gonna go full. Full force into this. And I became an L L C Grande Coaching, and now that's all I do.
[00:33:20] And sometimes, like I just had an audition for a commercial where I play a doctor, but sometimes I'll still audition and, and I still have a group that I perform with out of Boulder, Colorado called Playback Theater West because we're now all over the country. And I love it. It's like I get to direct little solo shows, but they're non-actors, like non-actor solo shows.
[00:33:45] And I have gotten really good at helping people with our presentation decks to simplify those down. And a lot of my clients now are in the medical and science fields and in and in tech. And then I'm working with a lot of solopreneurs who are six to seven figure that run six to seven figure companies.
[00:34:06] Hmm.
[00:34:07] It's been awesome.
[00:34:09] That's amazing. You've, you've like traversed the country. I love it. Like I was just like, like San Francisco, Chicago, New York. Wow. . I That's awesome. And then what a great, I mean that's like just hearing you connect the dots of like how you got from a to, to here, A to Z, you know, like
[00:34:29] oh, and I was in Mexico for some of that time,
[00:34:32] of course you were
[00:34:33] cuz we bought an RV in 2017 and drove around the country in Mexico for a year trying to figure out where our family would fit best. And we ended up in New York.
[00:34:45] lovely. Did you, what was this? The mainland of Mexico.
[00:34:52] Yeah. Mostly central.
[00:34:53] Nice, nice.
[00:34:56] Wow. Wow. That's awesome. That is
[00:35:00] awesome. So how has this, how has this change changed your life? Like, how has this, I mean, it, that's just seems like such an amazing shift from what I'm hearing.
[00:35:14] I love it. I, first of all, I love living in New York. I love that I moved to New York, as you do in it, in midlife. Most people move here when they're 20. I'm like, screw it. Let's move there in our forties. So I kind, I feel like there's something really beautiful about that because I have a different perspective on the city, and I also feel like I got my New Yorker badge having lived here through a pandemic.
[00:35:37] I love the diversity. I love the culture. I love the people. I love the terrain. I love that I am looking out the window right now, and everything is green and lush and the leaves are changing.
[00:35:47] Hmm.
[00:35:50] I really, I love the energy of the city. I, I'm one of those people that really thrives in cities and I, I get.
[00:35:59] I'm an extrovert. I didn't know there's introverts that love the city too. And I'm an either or person. I either really need to be in a city or I need to be in a really quaint rural town somewhere in the mountains, , right? Where it's easy to be the mayor, you know? But I, it's like, it's like if you put me in the in between spaces, I kind of go, I don't know what to do, I just really don't.
[00:36:29] I so connect with you, sister. I so
[00:36:35] I, and I, you know, it's So it's, it's been really wonderful. I've met some incredible people in this city and I still have a lot of roots in, in Colorado as well. And there's a lot of incredible people that I'm still in touch with there.
[00:36:53] Hmm.
[00:36:53] But I, yeah, I just, I love it.
[00:36:57] Oh, that's awesome. What well what about this choice to do this work? How has this changed you know, other people's lives? How has this changed your client's lives?
[00:37:08] Yeah, I will have, there's one client in particular that I'll talk about because we've, we've talked about it a lot. And I have this group coaching program called Confidently Speaking. So I use improv tools and theater tools to help my clients find this space where they can fail and be safe and then fail again.
[00:37:34] And there's no real world consequences doing these improv exercises. And it's really fun to, to use these tools to work on stage presence, to work on, on camera presence. And I had one student come into the group coaching program and the very. Class that we, that she attended, she could barely speak. She was terrified and or she would just like stop and go, I don't know.
[00:38:02] I can't, I just, I, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. And the thing I love about her so much is that, that she just kept showing up. Even though she couldn't get through it, she just kept showing up. This was almost two years ago that she is still showing up. And not only is she speaking now, but she just flipped and wrote a book.
[00:38:32] She is launching her book and has invited 150 people to her book launch that's gonna happen here in New York City. And I'm coaching her on that presentation and she wants to do a TED talk and she had a goal because I set up goals and confidently speaking I give challenges out. She goes, I'm gonna challenge myself.
[00:38:53] And this was one wasn't one of my challenges. I just put it on them this time. She goes, I'm gonna be on 42 podcasts this year. And she shows up the following week and she goes, I have signed up for 42 podcasts this year, . I was like, what?
[00:39:07] Wow.
[00:39:09] over the place now. Like she is, I, I cannot be more proud of her as, as someone that I have been coaching and, and now we are friends.
[00:39:20] It's, it's pretty beautiful. And so there are, there have been actually several people in that group that. Show up, we help each other out. My philosophy is to lift. I mean, it's all about lifting each other up. And because it's, it's hard to be an entrepreneur, it's hard to be a public speaker. Even if you're a great public speaker, you still need a coach.
[00:39:42] Just like actors still need a director. You could be the best actor in the world. You need, you still need somebody to, to hold a container for you and give you some guidance. It's, that's, that's what brings me joy, is to see, and English is also her second language. I'll put that out there too. So she really built this gorgeous confidence and it's really amazing thing to see.
[00:40:08] For some reason, I had a feeling that English was a second language for her. Just the way you were speaking about that struggle, I was like, that seems like somebody who might not speak English as their native language. So man, coming back to the courage, right? Like that courage of like, because I, I have a client that did the same thing of like, he was saying, like, I had so many weeks where I didn't wanna show up.
[00:40:32] But, But, I, but I did, you know, and he, and he did, he like kept showing up and it was like this, you know, cuz it's, it's the same thing like we were talking about with the tech, right? If it gives you the out, you're like, oh, I, I don't have to do it now. And it's the choice. It's that choice of like, no, I'm gonna be the person that shows up.
[00:40:49] I really want this. Right. And just hearing that story of like how your guidance and support and encouragement has, like what an impact. Now she's like working towards Ted Talks 42 podcast. Do you all hear what I'm saying?
[00:41:06] 42.
[00:41:07] 42.
[00:41:09] And that's also the beauty of the group coaching program because it's, it's not just me, it's the community of people that are cheering her on. And that's what's so amazing about it. And she has a community she gets to, to practice in front of too. So she's done that talk in front of us like three or four times in, its in different iterations.
[00:41:28] And it's a, it's just a really supportive group. It's just, I feel really lucky that I've attracted the people that I've attracted
[00:41:40] Of course you will. It's how you show up, right? Like you're gonna bring how you show up. Ah, I love that. I'm, what's the most important thing that people should do today if, if they like want to improve public speaking, what's something they can take away from this conversation and can just be that first tiny, humble step forward.
[00:42:06] Yeah, the tiny step is I would start with noticing yourself talk. That would be the first step I would take. When you are called to present or you have an opportunity to speak, what are the voices in your head that are telling you you can't or that you're not good enough or that you don't have a story?
[00:42:30] That's interesting. And I would start there and one exercise that I feel is helpful, it's helped me, is to write down the negative self thought on a piece of paper, and then across from it, reframe it into more positive self-talk. And to say it out loud to yourself, like, I don't have anything interesting to say to, Hmm, I do have something interesting to say.
[00:43:04] My story matters. right. Um, there's a lot of head trash around public speaking. I think it doesn't help that , that we're constant. I can't tell you how many times I'll post something on LinkedIn or social media and people are like, well, public speaking is the number one fear before death. You know, , like, I don't even know if that's true.
[00:43:27] I don't even think that's true. . But, but it's, it's, it's the story that we're told. It's the narrative that we choose to believe. And if you hear that over and over and over and over again, then you, it, it's, it's kinda like you give, you're off the hook. Well, this is the number one fear over death. So I, I guess I don't have to speak or I don't have to be very good at it.
[00:43:49] I'm
[00:43:49] just gonna hide behind these PowerPoint slides here.
[00:43:53] I don't even have to have my camera on. I can
[00:43:55] I don't even have
[00:43:57] You don't even have to see it. I'm a real human. I could just be ai. This is great.
[00:44:02] Right,
[00:44:03] Hmm.
[00:44:04] Yeah.
[00:44:06] Hmm. That's great. I mean, that's a great tip because I mean, that's, I, I, you know, there's, there are people, I'm seeing people that are, that are standing up and speaking out and are finding their voice and they're, and they're stumbling through it and they're being vulnerable and transparent about that. And it's been this wonderful experience to see and you know, because we have this access with social media and, and I think what a great tip and, and a technique there, right?
[00:44:47] Of like, hey, like get this out. Figure out where you're at with yourself. Bef you. And then the reframe. I mean, that's powerful, right? And that's something I, I wanted to call that out again and just like, give people a second to like, really process that. Because like the, the, reframe is so important. I've been finding the same thing out, you know, because it is like, just what's the positive of this?
[00:45:15] What's, what's the benefit of this? What's the gift, right? What's the, what's the gift in this? What is it actually trying to teach me? As opposed to being the victim or being, you know, being judged by this whatever, whatever you've been judging yourself about. Like you were saying, like there's so many different things that come up for why people are held back from this.
[00:45:38] And I, you know, something I find often with this audience than my clients is that they want to be seen, they want to be heard, but they don't want to be seen, and they don't want to be heard. Right. It's like you were talking about, like they, they, they want to hide behind the slides or they want to not have the camera on, but they want to be heard.
[00:45:54] They want clients, they want,
[00:45:57] Mm-hmm.
[00:45:58] you know, they wanna make an impact. And there's like that, that block. And so I think that's just such a powerful, it sounds, it, it's, it doesn't sound tactical, right? Like, it doesn't sound like this tactical thing and it's like the bigger picture technique to really be more important than which I'm, I, I'm just, I, I thank you for that because like that's got so much more power than something that like just, hey, go do this, practice this.
[00:46:30] Right? It's like, no, practice this practice
[00:46:34] think it's a first step, like I can say to, yeah, I can say to your listeners right now, like, practice, practice, practice , like, which has validity and yes, you should practice, but it's, you gotta start somewhere fir you gotta start with you first. You gotta gotta figure out that why piece. You gotta, you gotta transform that negative self-talk.
[00:46:53] I gotta say like the younger generations can smell our bullshit from a mile away and they're really ma masterful at, at showing up and being authentic and being beautifully imperfect.
[00:47:07] Hmm. Here, here. And thank
[00:47:09] And I, we, and I think we owe it to the generations that are coming up after. to also show up and use our voices and to get over ourselves. I just, I do, I strongly feel that. I think the whole, we all need to be listening to each other much, much better, and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable much more. And
[00:47:33] yeah, and we start with, it's, you have to start with you , like, what's, you know, I struggle with it. I do TikTok a lot. I'm on TikTok.
[00:47:41] That's where I started to really start using my voice. I'll be honest. It was, it was life changing. And I know that some people who might be listening are like, mm-hmm. , tell me more. But I, I started getting on there and just vocalizing my opinions about how, what, what I think good good speaker is, or, and I give tips on there.
[00:48:01] And I was scared outta my mind when I first started doing it. I was worried about judgment,
[00:48:06] Mm-hmm.
[00:48:07] the things. And I've been, I've had I've generated some success on there, which is great. I do get clients off TikTok. . But I still look at my tos and I go, Meredith, you're still hiding. Like I, you're still hiding.
[00:48:20] You're still not completely bringing your full, authentic self forward. And it's interesting. So I'm experimenting even for myself. I'm experimenting with that. You know, I'm in my mid forties. I'm not 20 . I'm still figuring it out, and I just invite everyone else to do the same thing. Are you really showing up really
[00:48:46] Hmm. I love it. I could, as you know, talk to you all day but as we start to wind it down now I
[00:48:57] Yeah.
[00:48:58] we got a couple quick questions here, but tell us something that
[00:49:00] Yeah.
[00:49:01] about you.
[00:49:03] Oh, I don't know. Let's see. I'm a pretty open book. What's something you don't know about me? I wrote a one woman show. This could be a whole nother podcast. I, I wrote a one woman show that I did this last July. My father passed away in 2011 and it was a mysterious death, and it is about generational trauma, and I decided to write a one woman show about it, , and I got funding and a residency here in New York City.
[00:49:32] And I did that. I did that thing and I had never done that before. And I don't know, you know, my close-knit group of community of people know that about me, but not a lot of people do because I mostly when you see me on the socials, I'm talking about public speaking.
[00:49:53] That's awesome though. I mean, af after losing my pups in 2020.
[00:49:59] Mm-hmm.
[00:50:00] That's to to, to, I've been writing about it in my blog. And that's been kind of my catharsis at this moment. But to do something like that, courageous, especially like any one person show, you know, that's a big deal to write it and to, to, to do the show.
[00:50:20] And you did it right and you got the funding and all the stuff, and you got a residency and all these things in New York, you know, which people think, man, that's gotta be crazy. Like it's New York , that's the place of theater. So, I mean, that's just amazing and, and yeah. What a, i, I can't even imagine the stories around that.
[00:50:38] That I can tell. That would be another whole show,
[00:50:42] Yeah. Well, and it took 11 years to tell the story, and I'll just say, I, I'll just say that too to your listeners because the one thing I do tell people is that when you are telling your story, make sure you're not speaking from an open wound. That there's a process with some of the things that we would go through in our life.
[00:51:01] If you are a survivor or have any sort of trauma in your life that. , you get to a place to where you feel that you can share that from a, a healed wound, which doesn't mean it's not gonna bring up emotion, it will bring up emotion, that you, you're protecting yourself. You know, you're in a place where you are protected safe
[00:51:28] Wow, that's awesome. I mean, just, just like, just sharing that like 11 years to do that. Right. To come complete with that.
[00:51:38] Mm-hmm.
[00:51:39] a lot of people, you know, again, it's like the opportunity where you can. Stop at any point, right? There's always that choice and that action that you can take and like to like, get through that.
[00:51:52] Find a place of like, okay, I'm, I'm, I can do this from a, you know, relatively healed place. Take, you know, honor myself, take care of myself, and also get this out. Share this, man. That's awesome.
[00:52:08] Yeah. Thank you.
[00:52:10] Where can people find you if they wanna engage with you?
[00:52:13] Well, then they can find me on TikTok . We've talked about that at Grande Coaching. You can also find me on LinkedIn. I'm on there and my, my website is Grande Coaching and Grande is spelled G R u N as in Nancy, D as in dog, ei poaching.com. And yeah, Google me
[00:52:41] Google Uh, Meredith. Oh my gosh. I love talking with you. You're such a kindred. You're such an amazing person. And I love the work you're doing. And thank you so much for your time and for sharing these lovely stories and your insights.
[00:52:59] Gabe, thank you for having me on your podcast. I really appreciate it, and I'm excited to see where this friendship goes and how we can help collaborate or help lift each other up.
[00:53:08] Well, that's it for this episode. Whether this is your first time listening or you're already a fan, thanks for being here. We hope you enjoyed the show. All lengths and show notes for this episode can be found@theartful.co. If you haven't yet, please subscribe to the show and leave a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks again for listening. Until next time, keep being artful.
