051: Phyllis Williams-Strawder — Brand Like a Solopreneur
Certified Brand Strategist talks about how solopreneurs can own their own space
Phyllis Williams-Strawder, aka the Ghetto Country Brandmother®, is an empathic bitch leading a respectful rebellion of solopreneurs. In the politically correct world she's a certified brand strategist, business coach and life coach. She believes everyone should own their crazy because that's where the brand resides. Because of that she brands by example on the regular. Brandma's House was built around GCB so she could move her teenpreneurs back into CKO Creator. It's a house where rebellion is encourage so entrepreneurs can be comfortable in their own skin as they brand. Brandma's House chooses to focus on a one to few instead of one to many business model in order to develop a closer relationship.
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TRANSCRIPT
ep51-Brand Like a Solopreneur with Phyllis Williams-Strawder
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[00:00:00] Hi and welcome. The Artful Podcast is an interview show where you'll get to know the people behind the creative brands we love. These open, casual, and candid conversations will shed a light on what it's really like to reach your true potential with joy, fulfillment, and freedom. Presented by Artful and hosted by Gabe Ratliff, an award-winning artist, entrepreneur, and coach. Are you ready to create your artful life? If so, then tune in, turn up, and listen hard.
[00:01:05] Phyllis Williams, Strader. Oh my gosh. Thank you for being on the show.
[00:01:13] I'm so excited to have you here. You are amazing.
[00:01:16] Well, thank you ever so much. I try to be amazing on occasion.
[00:01:20] all day, early day. What
[00:01:22] The air day, but then it's like bumpy break. Go take a lay down or something. Y'all getting on my nerves.
[00:01:31] Just in the time we were chatting before starting to roll, I just was falling in love with you all over again since we first started to interact online. I met you through Heather Crank and Chris Do and some of the folks in the Future Pro Group. And I just love what you're doing and I'm so excited to have you on the show to share your journey and your work with others.
[00:01:57] Oh, well, you know, sweetie, I'm here for it. I tell people one of the reasons why I am transparent without letting people all up in the business, I just don't really need them in is because if, as long as I'm transparent with it, you can't use it as a weapon against me. And a lot of people try and do those things to make you feel bad.
[00:02:15] Oh, you can't do your business like this. Oh, you can't say that. I can say whatever the fuck I want to. How about that? and it's, it's that level of, of moving from what you told me was professional. Wearing my hair a certain way is not professional. Wearing panty holes is not professional. None of that has to do with any of that.
[00:02:34] Professional is based on me doing my profession. So as long as I do my job, whatever f bombs I dropped ain't got shit to do with it. As long as you get the results that you asked for and that's all that matters. So it's, it is being able to own that part of it is, which is why I'm probably never gonna be employable again.
[00:02:52] I've tried to get, go back and get a job cuz I figured it was easier. I'm like, oh fuck no, no, no, no, no, no. We are not a good fit on any level. I would probably have to be homeless first. I don't plan on being it, but yeah, I'd probably have to be homeless first by let somebody tell me what to do. It's like, yeah, I can't go play your rules.
[00:03:14] It's crazy. It's crazy.
[00:03:16] I feel you. I feel you. Because I, I've, it's like a sense that you get once, you know, it's like, it's like, you know, once you have a taste, you realize you're either part of that club or not. Like some people I get, they want that safety and security. Some people I get that they, you know, they, they, they want a captain their own ship and, and, and, and, and the other thing, right, is not being able to be told what to do again,
[00:03:47] yeah. But, and it's not even so much not being able, being told what you can and cannot do, but also being told who you can and cannot help. And when you even in your job and it's like, well, that's not your job enough. People will say, you know, but that's not my job. I'm not doing it. But if I'm willing to help someone and you telling me to go back and do my own thing when you haven't given me anything to do, it's, like I said, it's just bullshit red tape that I just don't have time for it.
[00:04:14] I, I told my mom after I left my ex-husband, I'm like, I'm too old for bullshit. And that includes this job, So, yeah,
[00:04:26] Well, when you're, when you're meeting people, whether that's, you know you know, colleagues or, you know, leads that are potential clients, when you're talking to clients, like how do you explain what you do?
[00:04:40] Oh my goodness. I only recently came up with a good, a good explanation cuz there's two things I keep people from branding afraid and branding afraid. It's like you're either putting too much into it because you're afraid you're gonna miss something, or you're putting too much of your personal business in it because you want people to like you, but business is business and you have to stop branding in that fear.
[00:05:01] But then it's also taking self-aware solopreneurs to a place where you can have that impact that you wanna have. because we get to a place of, and I even did this when I, when we closed down our restaurants, I did went through a phase of trying to be professional on that, that bullshit, because I felt, as a business coach, I had to talk a certain way.
[00:05:20] I had to act a certain way. And for black folks, that's like, oh, you acting white. And I went into that mode and it just did not work for me. I had, I just struggled. And so it is, it is being able to have that freedom of, you know what, this is how I'm gonna do this. This is how I'm most effective and powerful.
[00:05:37] You don't have to act like me. You don't have to talk like me. You don't even have to roll like I do. But the fact that I can get you where you need to be, to have you stop being afraid of who you are, stop code switching because somebody said it wasn't professional. And, and all of those different things.
[00:05:54] That's what I do for people when they're building out their brands. It's like, bring your personal brand to the forefront. Put that bitch on front and, and give her a drink and let her swing. And then you use that to endorse your business because. The clients that that, that I've had I get tired of and I'm notating nobody, but I get tired of hearing people's talk about imposter syndrome and anxiety and all of that kind of thing. And the way you alleviate that is if you use your personal brand to endorse your business brand, instead of trying to always pitch it or trying to always feel like you're trying to sell yourself. It makes a difference in how you show up. You can endorse your favorite thing and you don't feel no kind of way about it.
[00:06:37] Ooh, girl, you gotta go and get this. I promise you. Either it is the best thing since sliced bread. If you have that same excitement about your business brand and you put, you not push it. But when you talk about it in that way because you're talking about the clients and the results and you're not necessarily talking about Buy my shit, buy my shit, it hits different.
[00:06:55] And so that's, that's pretty much how I do what I do. We are gonna take your brand, your personal brand, and we're gonna help it endorse your business brand. It is not picking one or the other. You actually have to have both baby. Because if you're trying to get to a point where you wanna grow and scale, if you wanna move beyond a party of one, this one gotta talk for this one because this one can't talk for itself.
[00:07:16] People talk about humanizing brands, sweetie. You're the human. It starts with you. So it's, it's that, that thing that I bring that is so for me right now is so different than what I was taught. I was on the brand strategy bandwagon, and that's technically the term brand strategy. I was on that brand bandwagon and I learned from a lot of great people, but I got tired of hearing them telling solopreneurs how a brand like companies, sweetie, they're one person, they can't wear all the hats.
[00:07:47] They don't have the team to back up the social media that they have to do to do the videos. And the editing and the writing. They're one person, so you telling them to do this shit, no wonder they're feel like imposters. They don't know how to do it. , they don't wanna do it. It's like we were talking earlier about being an introvert.
[00:08:06] I'm a party of one by choice right now, but I know what I'm going to scale to. And so knowing that and how I'm moving towards that, it is different versus, oh God, I gotta get to this many numbers and I gotta do this much per month, and everybody tell me what the fuck I gotta do. And you didn't let me decide.
[00:08:24] I left business with my husband. We built a multimillion dollar brand. I know what it is to build a brand. I didn't do it the way that I do it now, but we did that. And so I learned a lot from that in that, you know what, you gotta take a step back. I'm only one person. And when you give your yourself permission to be that one person, the rest is easy.
[00:08:46] It's easy. So
[00:08:49] is. I love it. I, I, I mean it, and it really, there's a lot of unlearning that's happening there, right? I mean, there's like the unlearning, you were talking about a around branding brand strategy, the, the, the industry and how, you know, it's how this is how you do it. And then there's that discernment between solopreneurs and entrepreneurs and how it's completely, totally different ballgame when you've got an entire team versus the company of one.
[00:09:17] And like you said, not having those, the capacity, the resources to, to do what an entrepreneur and a team can do. And then you've also got that, that connection between the personal brand and the brand and how if you're focusing on the one, you, the human, and you're, as you were saying, people are saying, we need to humanize business.
[00:09:43] Okay. Well, it starts with us. Did I hear that right?
[00:09:48] Yeah, because like with me, when I, when we had our pre, when I was in business with my husband, we had our, our previous restaurants. I was known as Mrs. Mista. My husband was Big Mista, and I was known as Mrs. Mista. And I carried that weight of, of being Mrs. Mista so much that I would go to bed with her and I would wake up with her.
[00:10:08] I had the computer in the bed with me next to my husband and, and I was, I was always on, and I had to learn how to set those boundaries. And so when I tell people about separating your who from your due, separating your personal brand, from your business brand, this your, your personal brand is who you are.
[00:10:26] You bring a certain level. This is all, when I'm up here being the ghetto country grandmother, sweetie, that's just a piece of who I am. Y'all can't handle all this brilliance. When I bring out all the fellas, only my husband, my wife, and all those folks that love me, they have to put up with my shit, can handle all of that.
[00:10:41] Okay. So it's, it's recognizing how much of your, your, your personality that you wanna put into your personal brand, and then drawing boundaries around that, saying this is as far as you can come when we're in business together, and you can't come no further. Now with me, it, when, like you say, when I'm talking to someone, sweetie, I'm on, I'm great.
[00:11:01] I'm, and I'm, I don't, I don't mean that in an arrogant way, but I'm being the ghetto country grandmother, how can I help you? But once my, once you become my client, my clients know my husband. My clients know my daughter. They think my daughter's gorgeous. They think my husband, they keep saying, when is he gonna send me a plate?
[00:11:18] I'm hungry. One of my clients calls my husband he calls her big bread. He c she calls him half loaf. And so that's why I call my clients my family. This is my family. Now, you still gotta pay me my money, but this is my family now. And it hits different because sweetie, if I, if you are my family, I'm trying to help you.
[00:11:38] I'm not trying to hurt you. and so it shows up different for me. Now, I don't expect all of my clients to go to that depth, but a lot of them have realized it's like it's not as serious as they make it seem. It's just like part of brand strategy is having competition. There is no competition. You are one person in a world of billions.
[00:11:59] Really? You can't carve out a living in 7 billion people. Something's wrong with that, but they're telling you that it's saturated, they're, it is loud and noisy, sweetie. You just got a naked enough, enough noise for the folks around you to hear it. You don't have to try and get everybody, you're one person in 7 billion.
[00:12:17] You can't even serve 1% of the 1% of that. So you telling me you can't make I, I got competition in 7 billion people, all 7 billion. I'm trying to do what I'm doing. No, I don't. I don't subscribe to that. I don't do that. Let's find out where, let's find out where your voice is the loudest, where you can make the most noises you want to.
[00:12:39] and get you to attract the people that you want to attract, because the other one sided part about branding, it's like, oh, well it's all about what your customers say. Fuck them until I figure out what I want to say.
[00:12:49] Hmm.
[00:12:50] And so it's about owning that part. You know what? Don't make me go out here and set up a brand so they will like me, let me like myself first.
[00:12:58] And that's what I will put out into the world and that's what I will attract. Because if I'm gonna take your money, I wanna at least like you a little bit. And you, you end up hearing horror stories about people like, oh, well my client did this and they didn't pay me and da, da, da. Trust and believe, if you are my client, I know where you live.
[00:13:15] I got your phone number. I probably know your kids. Do you really wanna mess with me?
[00:13:26] Don't make me send big bread,
[00:13:28] Hey, don't make me. But yeah, it is, it is, it is getting, and that's why I say solopreneurs, they have, we used to play a game when I was little called Big Bang, take Little Bank. And what it is is whoever had the most money got everybody else a little bit of money and, but now we're living in a time because solopreneurs and freelancers are so prevalent and so human that it is now a time for little bank to take big bank.
[00:13:54] You guys just have to know how to play the game. I I invest in the stock market and I'm watching stuff just go down the tubes right now. And it is because there's so many of you out there that are disrupting some shit and you don't even realize it. You are making the stock market do a thing that they are firing people.
[00:14:13] So all you guys that were, you know what? Dual entrepreneurs as they call 'em now, people with jobs in the business. You out here with me, So guess what? It could be little bank. Take big bank. , you know how they run their shit so you know what, you know how to be, do enough about it to take that money. It's crumbs to them, but once you make enough crumbs, they come looking at you like, oh, you wanna sell that? They'll come, they'll come looking for you. It's, it's, it's a whole ass situation. You just gotta know how to figure it out for yourself. So, yeah.
[00:14:47] Mm. Man. Rewind this and listen to this. All right, . I hope listeners, viewers rewind this. Listen to that. Again, I wanted to ask you, Just a question popped up when you were talking about personal brands and solar entrepreneurship and, and the, the connection between the personal brand and the brand itself.
[00:15:13] And I'm curious, do you, are there any any people that off the top of your head that you look to or, or that you think are really doing this in a great way where they live the personal brand, obviously outside of yourself, but like live the personal brand, but are, are using that to feed the brand? That might be some good examples for people.
[00:15:36] You know what? Because I see personal branding differently than most, I can't say that I do, and only because people, they will say like, Steve Jobs is a personal brand to me. Steve Jobs is a man that's made a name for himself. He is not Apple and, but he endorses Apple. , and I get that, that, that I understand.
[00:15:56] Who else? Richard Branson, he endorses Virgin, but he is not a personal brand. And I have had disagreements online with people about this. Well, he is a, no, he's not a brand. You cannot slap a tag on his ass and go out and sell it. The reason that, that he can go out and sell Virgin right now for the amount of money that, because that is an asset, whether he comes with it or not, it might add a little value to it.
[00:16:21] But the thing about it, if you try to sell Richard without Virgin Trust and believe you probably get five bucks. I don't need that. I don't need him. I need this brand over here. And so recognizing that people are endorsing their own brands as themselves. They made a name for themselves. They're celebrities, they're influencers, they influence industries.
[00:16:39] There are great people that are doing that. But when I talk about it from a personal brand perspective, like I said, ghetto Country Grandmother is my personal brand. And if someone feels like they can step in my shoes, you know what? You can buy ghetto Country grandmother, if you want to. you can buy the brand.
[00:16:54] You can't buy me. And so it's, it is recognizing that we are living in an age where content creation is everything. And so you're asking people that wanna sell insurance, they may wanna babysit, you're asking them to become con content creators in order to make their businesses work. I'm trying to watch 10 kids.
[00:17:16] How the hell am I gonna create some content and I'm not snapping pictures of all these babies cuz that ain't none of your business. And so it is, like I said, it's about who are you gonna be over here versus how much of your personal business are you gonna put out in the streets. Somebody made a point of saying that Richard Branson is very private or his private life is his private life.
[00:17:35] But when you look at it from a perspective of how he runs his business due to is magnificent in running his business, but him being a personal brand, no, I don't agree with him being a personal brand. I think he's a person of influence. I think he's a person that has made a strong name for himself. but he is not a personal brand.
[00:17:54] And so the, the thing about when I talk about a personal brand and a business brand, at some point they will grow apart and you'll become the Richard Bransons and the Steve Jobs and all of those where you don't have to wear the moniker of whatever that personal brand was. But you want them to grow apart because now your business brand should be able to stand on its own and you should be hiring somebody to run it while you run off and live in Fiji. You no longer link need this thing over here. But the personal brand is the one that writes the books. It's the one that shows up for the invitations. It's the one that you know it does the speaking. Again, that's what your personal brand is for. Your business brand is the one that goes over here and produces all of the work.
[00:18:32] You're the expert, but this is the vendor. And so recognize, like I said, you're separating your who from your due. This is how you get shit done. I'm endorsing this thing over here and is this, this can only increase and reach your personal brand can only increase and reach your business brand. That's what's scalable.
[00:18:50] because a lot of people are afraid to relinquish this over here. Oh, well nobody can represent my brand. No, they can't represent your personal brand, but everybody in their mama can represent your business brand. And this is what gets magnified and this is why you're able to now separate yourself from the two. Am I talking
[00:19:08] Hmm. No, I'm completely all ears. I am trying to absorb all of that insight. Again, rewind this, listen to it again. Because , I mean that's, I mean, and, and it's a lot to unpack, right? It's like unlearning because, and that I think it was just masterfully broken down. Because when you, when you put it that way and you say you've got Richard Branson, or you've got Steve Jobs, or you've got the, you know, bill Gates or any of these people like that Elon Musk, you've got these people who have been attached to brands that have done well.
[00:19:56] They've done one for themselves as a human, but they're not a personal brand, separate of the brand like Tesla or Virgin or Apple.
[00:20:08] Um, and when you just said that comment about. When you're looking at the, the, the brand, it's the vendor. And then what did you say the personal brand is again,
[00:20:22] The personal brand is the expert.
[00:20:24] the expert and the brand is the vendor.
[00:20:26] I mean that for me, I was like mic drop cuz that's, and that's why I wanted to make sure to get that language right because when you separate the two of, you're the expert, not the person that's done well bec in lieu of the brand and how well that's done being, you know, the visionary that got it started.
[00:20:49] You're the expert and
[00:20:51] the expert. Yes. And it's like, one of the things that I, when I talk to my clients when we're working together, one of the things that happens is that you have to understand your solopreneur is the, is part of your brand architecture not enough? Or entrepreneurs dig into their brand architecture because they don't look at it from that perspective.
[00:21:13] But people ask like, when should you brand? You should brand when you get the fucking idea. Because this personal brand starts to establish itself. It's the one that's building the anticipation for the business. If you're not out here talking about anything, you know what you gonna do? You're gonna go up here, you're gonna set up shop, you're gonna make the website, and you're gonna get crickets. You didn't build up any anticipation, but if the personal brand begins to establish yourself, like I'm the queen of, of sass as a, the, the, the software as a whatever.
[00:21:43] Yeah.
[00:21:44] And so I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm that queen. So you be, you begin to have that personal brand of being that queen. And then you say, you know what?
[00:21:51] I'm building this thing. And folks start to listen and then, you know what? I just finished this thing. And people start to listen. Now, if they're not listening, then you know you are wasting your time and they, nobody gonna buy your shit. And you don't have to worry about getting over here. And now I have all of these things and nobody's buying.
[00:22:09] Cuz then you become that crowd that how do I increase sales? How do I generate leads? You should have been generating leads before you went out and trip out there and tried to trip pi your game. there is this whole thing over here of your personal brand being able to do that for you. You begin to establish yourself as that expert.
[00:22:27] The reason a lot of bloggers were able to, to turn that into money, they were writing shit down. They were making these stories. They were telling everything. They were learning everything that they got introduced to. And then whether they do, they turn around and say, you know what? Pay me some money for this. That was their version of building their, their, their, their particular brand. Even when you have someone endorsing your brand, if they cannot endorse it based on the business, they're not endorsing you, they're not endorsing your personal brand. You can do that for your damn self. But if they're out here and they're speaking for, you know what, I went over there and I did this thing and she gave me this result, and that is the business talking because that is who you want to amplify.
[00:23:06] That's who you want to grow, and that's who you want to scale. So they can say, oh, she's the greatest, but you need to go get this work. Two different things. So it is being, like I say, it's about separating the who from the dude. And as long as they're turning this down sweet, you can't take it personal.
[00:23:21] Stop ta asking, what is my value? What's my worth? You are fucking priceless. That's how much you're worth. But over here, when you taking my money, I'm gonna need you to bring me some value. This is what I'm paying for. It wasn't personal. I don't want, this wasn't that. I didn't want you. I think you're great.
[00:23:38] I listened to all your podcasts, I listen to all your video, I'd read all of your books. But I don't want, I can do my own shit. I don't wanna buy nothing. You got, there's a difference. You don't have to take it. So personally, everybody said yes, but it's my business. So I do take, you know what? There is a little bit of personal, I'm not saying it, it just doesn't feel right.
[00:23:55] But you're not gonna have some moments where, oh, that kind of stabbed me in the heart. Yeah, you will have that. But just trust and belief, sweetie, this is business. If they don't want what you're selling, either selling something else and move on. Stop. Stop stressing about it.
[00:24:09] Mm. So much wisdom in there. I mean, there's a lot of unlearning that I'm hearing in that, you know, there's a lot of unlearning as, as. Creative people as business people, whether it's, you know freelancers, solopreneurs as a human right. , just being able to, to discern between that, taking things personal, like not taking it personally and you know, those assumptions that you are bringing value when maybe you're not the assumption that if you build, you know, if you build it, that they will come.
[00:24:48] Right? Like you were talking about the website and the, all the things, and, and I've made that mistake before. I, I'm saying it here, like I've totally done that before where I, I was like, well, I've been doing this. I'll keep doing this, but I'll do a website. You gotta have a website, blah, blah, blah. You gotta have your space that you carve out on online, da da da da da.
[00:25:09] I've tell, I've talked to clients about this, like having, you know, it's cuz you, because you do need to carve out your space in the. in the world and online is where you can do that. And you have to be behind, like what that value is that you bring. You have to have people, like you said, listening that are actually getting the value.
[00:25:33] You have to be sharing what you're learning, document proc you know, create document, process, share, create document, process, share, and then, then get into that space. I've heard so many stories of people who were just scrappy as hell and didn't have any of that shit, and then got this, this massive following and just kept it lean and mean and just down and dirty.
[00:26:03] Did the work, brought the rain, brought the value, and then got all that stuff coming. I mean, it's such a great story to hear that, but it is a lot of unlearning in there from, from
[00:26:12] It is a lot of unlearning. Yeah. And the the, like when we had the, the restaurants, when we built that up, that started at our dining room table. And to build that up even before I understood branding was, it's why people talk about hustle and grind. It's because you don't know what the fuck you're doing.
[00:26:32] So you hustle and grind and you figure stuff out along the way. You, I was telling somebody our first catering job, we got sued. We got sued on our first official catering job. Now we was doing stuff from, but when we had actual contracts and signed documents, got sued cuz we Neil did a tasting for the person he served in bone and chicken.
[00:26:53] But when we did the. He served in boneless chicken. And then the other thing was that we ran out of food. We ran out of food early one because it was our first gig and we thought we would just bring the appropriate amount of food, not thinking that clients were bringing extra people in here and all this.
[00:27:12] So we got soup chick one, she got back $900 outta us that we did not have to give her, but we had to give her $900. Same thing when we decided to open our first restaurant. We were 20 grand in before we had to just walk away from our 20 grand because it was not the thing for us. We were, yeah, it was, it was some shady shit going on, but that was a $20,000 lesson and shit hurts. But it's all of these different things that you learn along the way and that, that when you hear people out here who have large voices, who can impact industries and stuff, and they're telling people things based on where they are now. and not really where they started. Like one of the people, people talk a lot about Gary B and he talks about his scrappiness and all that kind of stuff, but Gary B's daddy had a business, so he started with his dad's business, not his own.
[00:28:02] And so he had, he already had some footing. He was fresh on the scene. And what, what, what a lot of people, and I hate when I say a lot of, cuz I'm, I'm being very broad and very general, but when you talk about early adapters, sweetie, who's the early adapter for what you're selling if you don't have any and no, you can't count your family unless they are a actual customer.
[00:28:25] Do now count your family cuz they're probably gonna buy you, wants to support you. And then they say, get the hell out my face. But it's like, who's the early adopter of what you're trying to put out here? And if you can't find those people then either you're not being loud enough or nobody wants what the fuck you're selling. And like I said, you can't take it personal being a black woman, people out here with weaves, eyelashes and all this shit. , okay. All of y'all are sending me the same pictures of the same fucking bundles of, of hair that everybody else is in. What difference does it make? Who I buy it from? It makes no difference whatsoever. Same with women selling eyelashes and wigs and and so forth. And I'm, I'm using that because I see a lot of it in my feet. But you are all pedaling the same thing. What, who am I supposed to choose? So you know what I'm gonna choose? I'm ba I'm, I'm probably gonna choose based on, on price cuz I don't really want it.
[00:29:17] But if I come across a good, you selling a wig for go one. I don't wear wig one. That's lemme go get this hair But the thing about it is if I'm not looking for it, I'm probably not gonna do anything with it. I was on the clubhouse call, young Lady was on there and I tried to be supportive when I can. Young lady was on there and I went and I was reading her bio. She didn't even know I was reading her bio. and I went to her Instagram and she had all these things on there, and she was in one of these rooms and she was asking a favorite question, how do I get more sales?
[00:29:56] How do I rate those type of conversations? But I went to her site. My daughter's birthday was coming up, and usually I take care of her and two of her friends, I went to this chick site and I bought nine purses, nine purses because I wanted to support her business. She didn't say anything. She didn't do anything.
[00:30:16] All she did was, wow, thank you, da, da, da. She sent me the purses and all this stuff. She didn't follow up, she didn't send do anything with the email. She is still doing the same thing like a lot of food people do. Let me post my purses and my foods, and hopefully I'll make you hungry enough that even if you live 3000 miles away, you'll come eat here.
[00:30:35] Mm-hmm.
[00:30:37] You're being very basic. You're being very generic and that's why they say you're getting lost in the noise. You're not doing anything different than anyone else. Sweetie, where's the, where's the flavor? Where's the personality? W what, what's going to make me want to get on a plane to come to you? Because trust and believe, if I got the money I will just because I want to support, and I'm that type of person. But it is, we're, we're told all these different things, and like you said, it is gotten really noisy really fast because it's all bullshit. It really is
[00:31:07] Yep. How do you, so what was coming up for me there is when, when you have someone that comes to you and you're helping them develop that personal brand and address, say that example you just shared about the woman with the purses, right? And like they're doing this vanilla kind of just generic
[00:31:28] I have on sale, what I have on sale.
[00:31:30] Yeah. And just posting out stuff because this is common, right?
[00:31:33] I'm sure you see this all the time because I know I do. It's just, and I've done it, I've, because you're like, man, I'm doing so like you said, I mean, it's such a powerful thing to remember that when you're a freelancer, when you're a single person business owner, the company of. , you're wearing all the hats.
[00:31:57] And if you also have a family, right, and you're a, you're a dad or a mom, single parent and single business owner, I mean, that's a lot to have and you're caring for another human or multiple. So when people come like, come to you like that and they are kind of in that space, what are some things that you ask or share with them?
[00:32:19] How do you help them kind of break out and unlearn that and, and start to address that in a way that's authentic to them?
[00:32:31] Because I tell people I was a mother alone before I had my daughter. I'm just that mother type. So if, and I, I'm, but I'm a tough love mama, don't get it twisted. And so if, if they come to me, it's like, sweetie, I, I ask 'em, why are you doing this? And most of the time they don't have an answer. Well, this is what I was told.
[00:32:49] Okay, but why did you believe it? And it's like, well, I see them having success and they do this and they do that. And I wanna be like her. Why do you wanna be like her? Because the most unique thing within your business is you. So why do you wanna be like her?
[00:33:05] Hmm
[00:33:05] And it's getting to the, why are you doing all of this first?
[00:33:09] And it's like, okay, is this what you go? If this is what you want to continue to do, I'm not the one for you. And like a lot of people a lot of people who have approached me, they don't understand why I won't work with folks that are under a certain age. And it's cuz I don't have time to fight with you.
[00:33:26] If you're gonna come at me, well, so-and-so said this. Well, they told me to do that. Sweet. If that's what they told you, go do it. Let me know how it works for you. But if you want my help, then I'm gonna figure out what it is that you really want. And I had to learn that the hard way cuz my first branding client, I gave her what she wanted.
[00:33:44] No, I gave her what she asked for was not what she wanted. It was not what she wanted.
[00:33:51] And she didn't. know. And neither did I because I gave you what you asked for. And so is now it's a matter of getting to like, okay, what is it that you really want now being that person that better listens, this is what you want, but I'm gonna give you what you need. And it's not gonna trust and believe there's no difference in the two. It's just, this is the way you said it, this is the way you said it and this is the way I heard it. I normally, my clients have to have been in business for a while because I want them to have some business sense. But I have one client right now that is building out something, and the thing with her, I'm like, why are you doing this?
[00:34:34] Is, the question was no different. Why are you doing this? She was burnt out on her job. She came across something that has helped her because I think she has a D h D. She she had all of these different things that she wanted to be able to share with people. And it's woowoo stuff. I don't do a lot of, whole lot of woowoo, but I, I work with woowoo clients, believe it or not, , but I work with WOOWOO clients. And her thing is, is stuff happened. But she, she, she has this thing and she wants to bring it to the world. But the reason I can work with her, even though she hasn't been, is because she's able to make decisions. And that is something that a lot of people have. Well, I don't know what to do. Okay, why don't, you know? And sometimes it's just sweetie. Either you have to have books, books since, or you have to have lived since. there's common sense and there's common knowledge. So if you're out here and you're learning everything that a book can tell you, if you haven't practiced it, then you know what? That's why you don't know. You have to go out here and bump your head, fall on your face, do all the things before you can actually say that this works or it doesn't work. And I get angry when I see people out here trying to tell me how to do my shit when you haven't even done it yourself. Like I said, I've built a million dollar brand, a multimillion dollar brand.
[00:35:58] I've been in entrepreneur for I don't know how many years off and on. I have my failure stories, I have my success, success stories. But is is getting to the why are you really doing this if you're not trying to have some type of impact? Again, I'm probably not the person for you. If you're chasing money, I'm definitely not the person for you.
[00:36:18] you can chase money by getting a job, get a high paying job. If that one doesn't pay you enough, go get a fucking education and then earn you some more money. But that's the thing. But if you want to get to the point of, of, I wanna stop being like this, I've been in the same struggle for two and three years.
[00:36:35] Okay, why, why are you still doing the same thing? And what I'm finding is, one, a lot of people don't know where to go for help. They don't understand brand strategy. So they don't think that that can help 'em. They think they need to go to a salesperson, they need to go to a business coach. And all of the, and some of those things are true. But if you're looking at it and you've gone through all those things, now you salt you. When you come to me, well already paid all this money, what you gonna do different? I don't know. What do you want different? Because the thing about it is, the only difference in this is the relationship between me and you. It's a matter of me getting out of you what it is that you wanna say. There's, you don't have to code switch with me. You don't have to ask some kind of way with me. You don't have to, you don't even have to be nice to me as long as you respect me and we get some shit done. But at the end of the day, why are you doing this?
[00:37:31] Why are you creating all this content? Why are you out here dancing and pointing and doing all the things? Well, they said follow the trend. Okay. Is that what you wanna do? Well, kind of don't get me kind of, I need you to make a decision is, is it a yes or a no? And so is is being able to actually get someone to say that yes or no is now you're committed to this shit.
[00:37:54] Let's do it. Let's get it done. Because you're able to understand like, this is what I really want. And it's being brave enough to say that because like I say, with with with you stepping out there as your personal brand, so do you gotta have a fucking opinion? You gotta be able to say yes and no to some things. You gotta be okay with not being light. because some people are not gonna like you. There's a whole lot of people that don't like me. Oh, I get on the nerves, okay babe. But I still love you,
[00:38:25] but
[00:38:25] Right.
[00:38:25] you from across the street. How about that? We cool? We cool. But if, if you know, if you know that you want something in your business to change, then maybe it's you that needs to change, not your business.
[00:38:37] I know that was a, I mean, to be vulnerable in this moment, I mean that, I know that was a big thing for me. I, I had to change, I had to also get honest with myself about the direction I was going in my business. I had to get honest with myself about what my why
[00:38:55] Mm-hmm.
[00:38:56] and there's so much that you have to unlearn constantly.
[00:39:01] Right. Just like you were saying about trends and about, you know, wanting to follow people who are being success. I mean, all we see now on and any feed are these sponsored ads about take my course, , I'm gonna teach you these steps. I'm gonna do this thing. You're gonna be rich, you're gonna have seven figures.
[00:39:23] You're gonna be blah, blah. You're gonna get this, you're gonna be an influencer. All of this stuff. And it's just, we get inundated and it's like, I, I mean, the inbox at this point just feels like this overwhelming just barrage of the same thing, right? And it's like sifting. You have to sift through, like, no, these are actually the emails that are relevant.
[00:39:49] These are the ones I actually did want to get. And then kind of let everything else go, even though it is your inbox and you're in, in control of that more than the, even more than the feed and all the algorithms, but there is just so much out there, constantly feeding business owners. What's the next best thing?
[00:40:11] I, I wanted to ask you. As you were talking about when you're talking to people about their why, what is, what is your why? Why do you do this?
[00:40:19] my why. It happened. I have two why's. One why is because I wanna see more preneurs. I think if your baby can model and act and all that stuff, they can start a business. It's not taking anything away from their childhood. It's like, sweetie, if they have a gift, talent and ability, why are you trying to make them go to go to college?
[00:40:40] Why are you make trying to make them get a job? Let's find a way to monetize their talent now. , let 'em do what the, what, what they want later on. So that's my biggest why. That's what pulled me away from the restaurant. But my other why happened during the pandemic and watching so many small businesses close, but then also knowing the statistics of how many businesses fail within a certain amount of time.
[00:41:01] I wanna impact that statistic, and I know from starting multiple businesses that what the norm is, is you go to the S B D C, the S V A and all that stuff and you get your e i n number and your L L C and you do jump through all these hoops. Then you go build a website and you start selling your stuff. Everybody bypasses branding. And even though now they're trying to recognize mar branding as a part of marketing, half of it is, you know, what you're trying to market stuff before you even fully brand it, cuz the people it's branding takes iteration.
[00:41:37] you, you, you're not gonna get it right the first time.
[00:41:40] But the more you know and the more you learn going through that iterative process. Sweetie. That's how much better your marketing gets. So if someone's trying to tell you who you are and how to market, then they don't really care who you are. All they care about is pay me my money and I'm gonna get you some sales. And so now I, I know people talk about, you know, I don't wanna be put in a box if you're marketing this way, because they said that you should. You just put yourself in a box, A box that they made for you because you paid them a lot of money. And I don't wanna see people do that. I don't wanna see people.
[00:42:14] I'm not saying I like everybody cuz I, there's a whole lot of folks I don't like. I love you, but I don't like you. But , it's, but even in that, I don't wanna see you lose your voice just because I don't like you,
[00:42:25] sweetie. There's somebody that needs your voice. There's somebody that needs to hear you.
[00:42:30] There's somebody that needs your support, your help, your whatever. And if you are a business, then you need to be heard for your truth, not for your bullshit. There's enough of that out there.
[00:42:41] Hmm.
[00:42:42] and it's, it's, it, it needs to change and businesses need to stop failing because you give them half-assed information.
[00:42:47] One of the, the commercials that's pissing me off right now is Legal Zoom. Legal Zoom has to do rolling down the highway in the traffic and he rolls up on this woman 80 shelter to start a job. And she said, Ooh, I'm, whatever she says. And she drives off into the desert by herself how she gonna be by herself with her l l c
[00:43:06] Right as she's drinking her last drop of water.
[00:43:15] Yes. Diana at the desert. Yes. I was listening. I was in a clubhouse room the other day and a woman was saying she was, she, she drives for DoorDash and all this stuff and she went to a place to, to make a delivery and the, after she made the delivery, she went and she said, I'm gonna come back for one of those drinks cuz it's a specialty drink.
[00:43:38] She paused her dash, she went back in, she bought the drink. and all of a sudden she got it in her mind that she could help this, this particular business grow and scale. No hating on being a gig driver. I did it myself for a while and, but it was the fact that she thought she can go from that to telling this person how to grow and scale their business.
[00:43:56] You don't even have one, first of all, but you thought you could make, you can do something useful by, you know what, because she's off the beaten path. If she showed up on social media, then that would fix all her problems. No, this woman, I listened to her and said she went out and got a L L C. She called her 10 year old son and asked him what to name the business, that bus, all that shit. And that's how funky ass businesses are started. And then when it does not work, she'll be in one of those other rooms. Well, I'm trying to increase myself. I'm trying to get more clients. Bitch, you ain't got a business just because you went and got the piece of paper. Does not make it a business just because you got a name.
[00:44:35] It does not make it a business. and I'm, there's no shade in, in her having that entrepreneurial spirit. But to, to, to do that in a matter of two days, you didn't put any thought into your business. You just decided, oh, this person needs my help. I'm gonna go get my paperwork done and then I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna pitch to them is, it takes more than that. It takes more than a notion and a great idea and the spirit of wanting to help. So, you know, if she's offing the cut trust and believe her rent is cheap and she can't afford you. Now if you're gonna help her just on GP because you think you can, that's, that's great. That's you giving her something. But if she's offing the cut, she's offing the cut for a reason.
[00:45:14] And you need to understand that and appreciate that. But you trying to make money off of it, I think you'll snake. That's just my own opinion.
[00:45:21] Mm.
[00:45:22] That's just you trying to take advantage of somebody that don't even know that you're trying to do that cuz you don't care about them. You just saw an opportunity and you wanted to jump.
[00:45:32] So, yeah, I'm, I'm gonna stop being salty. I'm gonna stop being salty
[00:45:37] Well, I mean it, it's part of my mission. . And part of the reason I wanted to have you on the show is exactly these insights and this your mission because in order for us to make a change in the world and to actually act like we're in 2022 and we've been a alive for a couple millennia now and deserve to go to Mars and other places to me, I feel like we got a lot of house cleaning to do here. And it, and it's, and businesses are all about people and how we treat each other. And we are seeing that in the government. We're seeing that between neighbors. We're seeing that between countries. We're seeing that between businesses, there is this divisiveness and it, it literally is starts from us. It has to be from us and how we connect, how we engage.
[00:46:42] What we support. That's been one of the benefits over the last, you know, 10, 20 years, is that it's shifted to this space that's been a benefit of social media is that people have had a voice so they can support businesses, organizations, causes that deserve it and they can be a voice for them and they can actually enact some change.
[00:47:05] Great.
[00:47:06] And there are also people, like you said, that they are just could be a snake and they can take it. There's so many people out there taking advantage of people in so many different ways. I wanted to ask you, what's the most important thing that someone could take away today to improve or support their brand as they're listening to this right now?
[00:47:29] What's like the most important thing that they could do to just.
[00:47:33] the most important thing. First of all, actually, like what you do enough to endorse it, not pitch it, not sell it, but to endorse it. And it's, it's a matter of taking a step outside of your brand and your business and looking at it objectively. And a lot of people find that hard. I know brand strategists that find it hard to brand their own shit because you, you, you have that difficulty of looking at it from the outside.
[00:48:04] because you're living it every day and you're trying to make money from it, from ev every day. So every once in a while, go find somebody, get you an advisory council, and it doesn't have to be any money, but make sure it's other business people that either you're on the same level or they're higher.
[00:48:21] Mm
[00:48:22] you, sometimes I wanna be the dumbest person in the room and I just wanna soak up shit.
[00:48:25] mm.
[00:48:26] But you, the, the thing about it is go and find you an advisory council. Make you want, you know what, we're in the same world. Why don't we do this thing? But you have to trust and believe that they have your best interest in heart because it, it, one of the things that I see is people are so afraid of losing their intellectual property. And I think, I think if I was gonna back it up, I would say, you gotta learn the trust again. We have lost so much trust in each other,
[00:48:54] Hmm.
[00:48:55] and it's, it's disheartening and it's hurtful, but it's like we're trying to. Hurt each other by saying that You gonna steal my shit sweetie. You can take all my stuff.
[00:49:09] Because even if you took everything that I know how to do and I do well, you don't do it like me, you don't have the same impact that I do. It is why people are following the same brand strategy model as everybody else. I was the one that decided, you know what, no, it doesn't work anymore for me. I'm dad certified by Marty Newmar Meyer and his, his program.
[00:49:30] And I listened to Chris and I listen to AnnaLeigh, love them all. Mad respect for them all. But sweetie, this does not work for solopreneurs. And I'm speaking from a space of being that one that started a, a business at my kitchen table. You've had a job, you, you had a multimillion dollar business, you did the, all these things, but you're talking to people who are scratching from the bottom up and not everybody knows how to scratch when coming up with even my daughter being lazy ass teenagers, they don't know, they're not hungry enough to, to, to, to scratch that thing out. So when you're out here and you're telling them that they need to do these things and go after these big clients, you're telling them to charge all this big money. Can you at least let 'em show 'em how to ch make that a hundred dollars first? Show 'em how to get that first grand client first or first client.
[00:50:22] I told a client of mine, I support her business and I told her I would do something. It's like getting rendered enough to get your first client. Let's just do this. Let's just get your first one paid or unpaid. We gonna get you that first one because you have to knock that one out. It's like getting your first kiss, your nervous as hell. Let's get over the nervousness and get you that first client after that. Then you know how you want to, you know what? Like I said, that iterated process of building a better brand, okay? I didn't like that client. She wasn't bad, but I didn't like her. He didn't do this, but I didn't like him. That's not the kind of client I want
[00:50:57] Hmm.
[00:50:57] because you went through a process with them, you had your framework and it did not work.
[00:51:01] So now you also tweak your process. So let teach me how to do that based on what I do. Well, not based on what the fuck you know how to do. to me and let me tell you what I did and how I did it. Don't tell me how to fix it based on your shit. Tell me how to fix it. Fix it based on my shit. And that's what I do with my clients.
[00:51:22] Hmm.
[00:51:22] One of my clients like we were, we were unpacking the customer journey. We ha I have a small community and we're unpacking the customer journey. And we got to a part where we were talking about a day in the life of our clients. This is, this is, I call all my clients my problem child . She is the one that gives me the most pushback and she has to because of the way her mind works.
[00:51:48] And so she's like, I can't do that cuz all of my clients are different. I'm like, hell, all of our clients are different. That's we're talking about, we're just trying to get a sense of what a day in the life is so that we can make our marketing relatable. And she just, no, that does not work for me. And da, da da.
[00:52:01] I said, you know what? Fuck it. How about we do a day in the life of you and how you wanna put, she said that works. And it's that type of thing that you have to flip it because if it, one of the reasons why she came to me is because everyone was telling her she is she she. She's big on language. She talks a lot.
[00:52:19] She writes a lot and I mean that. And when she's doing her thing and everyone was telling her, you know what, you gotta make it concise, you gotta make it smaller. Now I came and I asked her why And that's all she needed. You need to go out and put all of your shit out there and attract the people who want to hear all the words, not the ones that are trying to get you to shut up. You want somebody that's going to read all of the words. When we were doing the call, one of my clients, she's having a problem writing a blog post and this one's writing a lot. And she's like, what do I put on my page? I said, you see her page? That shit is full of words. You can't be her. And clients know when they come to her site.
[00:52:56] If you don't fucking read, I'm probably not the one for you. So you need to keep it pushing. And so this works for her. A day in the life of her works a lot better than a day in the life of her client because what is going to do is gonna attract the people. Like, you know what, you know that bitch ain't fucking with us at 6:00 PM We gotta get up at 6:00 AM We gotta, if we want this greatness from her, we gotta get up at 6:00 AM or we gotta catch the replay cuz she gonna put it out there for the replay. And so that's a day in her life because you know what? Right now it's not fitting over here for her this way. And as being able to make that adjustment as a so entrepreneur knowing what works for you, we had a two hour argument. Like it wasn't a real argument, but when we had a two hour disagreement for me trying to tell her, this is your thing, she's like, no, no, no. When it finally flipped for her, she had that shit written out, formatted all she, it took two hours off, but it had, it takes somebody sitting here with you fighting for two hours because we care about your business to get you to the point now. Her shit is so fucking magical. She, she, I mean, the one that impressed me the most, she was, she ended up having a a disagreement with someone or she wrote something on her, on her Facebook and she didn't mention any names, but the person knew she was talking about her, so she came in and exposed herself.
[00:54:18] They going back and forth. It wasn't really that heated, but they're going, why'd she end up signing this woman to a $20,000 contract? She said, and, and my, my people call themselves brand baby. I, this brand baby was own. I was, she said, I work my thing. Whereas before she, she said, I wouldn't have been able to talk about my business the way that I do or get my clients to the point of where I'm getting them to. She went from wanting to be a coach to now she has a coaching academy, and both her last two cohorts have been full.
[00:54:49] And it, it makes a difference because, you know what her, her ultimate goal for her brand, , yes, I'm starting over here. But her ultimate, the gap we're closing. She wants to be a public speaker. She has all the words. Now you gotta get somebody to fucking listen to you. How about that? And it's closing that gap.
[00:55:06] But I, I saw you over here. I know you wanna get there, so let's handle you right here. And it's being able to understand people on that level and understand, like I said, being a solopreneur, who now, she, she started by herself. Now she got two folks. And this was just in a matter of, this has been in less than a year. And you being able to take yourself and move yourself from point A to point B based on, okay, I got your information, but now how does it work for me? I got all the information from Annalee and Chris and Steven and Fabian and all of the, the stuff. But that doesn't work for me, for the people that I'm trying to help.
[00:55:46] I'm not trying to help companies. I'm not branding based on concept. You can kiss my concept. What I'm trying to do is I'm trying to help solopreneurs get to that next level. Your next level may be, you know what, I still wanna work by myself cuz I work better that way. But I wanna, I wanna be able to make enough where I can have a bookkeeper, I can have a, a VA to do my calendar, I can have a social media person to do my stuff that's still scaling.
[00:56:10] But you have to be able to raise your prices enough to be able to afford that. You can't do that during the bullshit that somebody else is doing. Make that shit work for you,
[00:56:24] I'm gonna ask you all to rewind that again and listen to this effing wisdom getting dropped by ghetto country grandmother cuz. Holy shit. So following that up, Phyllis, I mean, thank you so much. I'm seriously just all ears this whole time. I love listening to you drop all this knowledge. I following that up, I wanted to ask if you had a magic wand and you could change anything related to people's mindsets.
[00:56:55] right. We know mindset is a massive aspect of leading a sh you know, being the captain, leading this charge ahead As a freelancer, solopreneur, entrepreneur, getting to that level that you were just talking about what, what would you change if you could, if you had a magic wand around people's mindsets and their brand?
[00:57:20] I would change their mindset around, do it for you first and then do it for. And by that I mean, I'm not talking about the money aspect of it, but if there's some impact that you wanna see then be that, then have that impact. Be that person that changes it. But do it for you first. Not because it needs to be done with somebody.
[00:57:40] Gotta do it. They don't have to be you. It does not have to be you. But there, if there's something that you want to see changed, then sweetie be that thing. Go do that thing and stop waiting for somebody else to do it. I was reading someone's Twitter today, and she was upset because she said and, and I'm giving you the real version, what she didn't say, but basically yoga and yoga and Pilates.
[00:58:05] Pilates is discriminatory against black and poor folks because it's so highly priced. It's like if you come in and look a kind of, look a kind of way as she puts it, then they don't really wanna help you. Or either it's so far out of, out of pocket that you can't pay for it.
[00:58:24] Stop hating on people for their prices.
[00:58:26] That ain't none of your business. If you can't afford it, then that's your problem, not theirs. But if that is a problem for you and you think it needs to change, why don't you go open a yo yoga studio? How about that? So it's a matter of of, I know it's the old cliche of be the change you wanna see, but especially in business, if you decide to be a business, then be that change.
[00:58:50] Part of what I I, I do with my clients, sweetie, I can't help you build a toxic environment. Anything that I do, the branding starts with you and then the people that you work best with. Because when you do your first hire, I want them to come say, Ooh, I wanna work for you. I don't want you to have to go out and say, I'm hiring.
[00:59:07] mm.
[00:59:08] You are so fucking amazing that they say, you know what? When are you hiring? I wanna come work for you. I wanna come learn from you. And then you continue to build their brand loyalty. At some point, maybe they will leave you and be okay with that, but then they might stay with you forever. They might rock this game with you to the wheels fall off. And that's a good thing too. But it is because you branded in such a way that it's not just forward facing because a lot of brands are just forward facing. Why you treating your staff? Like shit? You would not have a business if not for them. So how about, you know what? Make sure that brand is working both ways so that when people come working for you and they say, you know what?
[00:59:44] You said you value this. Why are you treating them like that? How about you make sure you hire somebody that has similar values? We know they got the skills. Hell, you can teach the skills, but can you fit the culture? not talking about laying around on bean bags, drinking lattes and all that foolishness.
[01:00:03] Kombucha.
[01:00:05] We ain't talking that bullshit. We're talking about, you know, what can we work well together? These are the people I work best with. And then you build your company from that and everybody that works here, they're happy, they're satisfied, they're getting a good wage. Cuz fuck it. I want you to get enough money to pay them well.
[01:00:22] Don't be cheap. . I don't do that. So it's not just about you building a brand, it's about you changing the industry of how businesses are built. Not a bunch of lazy motherfuckers wanna sit around and take every other day off, but people who have joy in coming to this place that you have created, and whether it's 1, 2, 5, or a hundred, yes, you gonna get some toxic as people in there kick their asses out.
[01:00:47] Hmm.
[01:00:48] Don't wait for 'em to leave while they tear up your house. No, but make sure that you're doing the best that you can to brand from the inside out. Make sure that your, your, when I, I say, separates your who from you do, but make sure that shit matches. If this is who you are, make sure it matches inside and out from the people that you hired, the people you collaborate with, people that you wanna partner with.
[01:01:12] Make that shit match up. Make it a line. Change your mind.
[01:01:17] Mm mm I When you were talking about from the inside b you know, behind, not just front facing. I, I immediately started to think of a friend of mine who recently told me about going to work for a company that on the front side. So very vocal about, I'm not gonna talk about the industry cuz it'll give it away.
[01:01:45] But like very vocal about this forward facing support of people. And he was telling me what it was like on the back end and brutal.
[01:02:00] He was just getting crushed. He said he was getting crushed as an employee.
[01:02:05] Wow.
[01:02:06] Yeah. And he was like, it's so not like that on the back end.
[01:02:10] And that's a thing. That is a thing. And like I said, when I, when I talk. Little bank take Big bank is not just in the money, it's also in the talent that's out there that exists. Big companies are constantly firing these people that you can probably get, come to work for you for half the money for a little while, not the whole time, but you know what?
[01:02:32] Come here and work for me and I promise you, when I grow, you grow cuz they are leaving them all by the wayside and they're tired and they're burnt out. You know how to take a fucking day off because you got kids, you wanna go home to your family. The reason you do this shit is like, you know what? I don't wanna be here all day.
[01:02:47] We ain't staying here all day. Uhuh, we done. So they wanna come and work for you. They have peace of mind. They have less stress. Is is it, it makes for a different environment. Yes. I think the whole work from home thing is a great thing, but I also think going into the office and being able to come collectively around something is a great thing as.
[01:03:07] Mm-hmm.
[01:03:09] So if you are able to bring these things together and you're ma you're able to marry this company to the people that that want to be here, trust and believe it, it, it makes a whole ass difference. I had a guy come into a clubhouse room that we were doing, and one of the things that he, he hated about his company, not hate, hate, but one of the things he strongly disliked about his company is when he would go to a meeting, everybody would change because he was the boss and he is like, I don't want you to change.
[01:03:40] I wanna know what's going on on the real side. There's no detriment to anybody's job here, but I can't make sure that we stayed like this if you guys are going smoke up my ass.
[01:03:51] Mm
[01:03:51] And it's like, okay, but what did you do to foster that? And I know some people just have it in their minds. I have to respect my boss, I have to respect the title and all of that.
[01:04:01] And you don't wanna get so lax that you think you can talk to me sideways. Crazy either. . But there has to be some type of way where we can get past this level of, you know what I gotta be, I got my bosses call it a doer day. Dress up and act right Sweetie. You always acting right. As long as you're being respectful.
[01:04:17] I believe in respectful rebellion. It's a whole ass thing for me. But it's like, you know what, if this company's gonna grow, we're gonna make more money. You gotta be honest with me. What are we fucking up on? What's going on in your department? Do we need to fix something? So it is, it's like you said, it's a lot of unlearning.
[01:04:35] A lot of unlearning. gonna plug this in. Go ahead. I'm listening.
[01:04:44] I'm just gonna, yeah, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna pause here cuz I can cut it out.
[01:04:48] Okay.
[01:04:51] Yeah. I've been a part of that before where just getting crushed 60, 70 hour weeks, had all the cool stuff around the office. Really great people I was working with, really e even really great work we were doing, the people we were serving in that particular space. All of it, it was great. Loved it and it was just soul crushing to be in that environment cuz you that I couldn't make plans with family and I couldn't have dinner during the week.
[01:05:27] I couldn't make plans to do that. I was so exhausted on the weekend. I, all I could do is rest and recharge. And so I, yeah, I mean it's, and, and there was a lot of concern around being able to be open with upper level management, you know, executive level and upper level management because people were throwing each other under the bus cuz they, they wanted to save themselves and keep, make sure they looked good in that kind of environment.
[01:05:54] There's, I mean, it's a lot of fear even if it's done really subtly and surrounded by, you know, video games and snacks and drinks and all that
[01:06:05] stuff.
[01:06:06] Right?
[01:06:06] it all
[01:06:07] Yeah. Right. , right. And you're like, pay me and I can go buy my own snacks. Thanks and the snacks that I want and Right. and I get to have those to myself all day, early day. Well, Phyllis, I wanna ask as we start to wind down now, tell us something that we don't know about you. I always like to get, you know, get in there and find something fun out
[01:06:34] Oh, you wanna know the, the thing I've been sharing with people lately is that I wrote my memoir and people laugh when I tell 'em. . A lot of people talk about Tom, Dick and Harry. Mine was just dig Dick and Dick and it was not a good thing, but it was, it was, it started out, it started out as a book to share with my daughter cuz me and my daughter started talking to having the sex talk early when she was nine.
[01:07:03] And as I started writing the book, certain stuff from my past started to come up and so I started to weave in my stories of how I made a lot of wrongs decisions when they came to men. And with each one it just, you know what this is, this is part of those things that I did then is what affected me in being vocal when I started my business and when I'm all these different things.
[01:07:29] But the one thing that I had to put in there was something that I had never told the truth about to anybody. And because I was cheering, I, I'm a trans, what I call a transparent parent, I tell my daughter a whole lot of shit. Probably a parents wouldn't tell. Because I wanted to make better choices.
[01:07:47] And so there was one thing that I had lied about for years that I never told anybody, but I had to tell the truth to my daughter and I had, and I ended up putting that in the book and letting that go. And so I was sharing, I think I shared it as a post on LinkedIn recently. One of the things that was the beginning of me being that person of, you know what?
[01:08:08] You can't use this as a weapon against me anymore. Yes, I had my holy days. Yes, I'm ghetto and all of these different things, but it's not a weapon for you to will. It's the power that I hold. This is what makes me stand right here, right now. And so it is it that, that was probably the biggest thing, like cuz I never really promoted.
[01:08:29] Yes, some people bought it and all that, but I never really promoted it because it was just something that I did. It was something for my daughter. It was something for me and me giving my truth. And now I tell my clients, if you really wanna get all up in my business, go get the book. There are no secrets in there,
[01:08:49] I recently heard a similar story with a mother who did that same thing. She wrote a book for her daughter, and she was talking about how cathartic it was to do that and to go through that experience and the coming, you know, the going back through the, the things that came up along the way and, and like kind of like getting, digging back into that the past and like the learning lessons and.
[01:09:18] The triumphs and the tribulations and all of it. Just all of it, and how amazing that was. So I, I, I commend you on that. And for also the bravery to that courage to put it out, right. And to share that so other people can also get that same growth learning lesson from it.
[01:09:40] Yeah.
[01:09:41] Wow.
[01:09:42] There's, there's nothing in your past that you should be ashamed for, even though people try. If you're, if you're doing something that's making you a better person now, based on your standards, sweetie, don't let somebody. And that, I think that's a sticking point for a lot of people in business.
[01:09:58] It's like, well, this is what I used to do and people know me for that. You're not trying to sell to those people.
[01:10:03] Mm,
[01:10:03] You're trying to impact these people, and they, they don't even give a fuck. That's your path. They don't care.
[01:10:10] It's like, what? And I tell my clients all the time, your clients, what they're singing is Janet Jackson song, what have you done for me lately?
[01:10:17] I don't give a rats ass what you did back then. That's it. And so being able to, to release those things that you think are holding you back, and I'm always, I'm one of my, when I started coaching, one of my first questions like, what are you afraid of? Let's get that out the way first. What are you afraid of? And it's like, I don't know. Okay. Until, you know. , this is why you're stuck. Because a lot of times we don't know and it takes talking to someone else to release that thing, and that's with brand strategy. Believe it or not. I have had clients cry and all this stuff because they realize like, this is who I wanna be, this is how I wanna show up.
[01:11:02] And this is why I talk about, you know what, you don't have to code switch for anyone. The people who want what you have, people are gonna spend money on what they wanna spend money on, whether it's a cup of coffee or a pair of draws. They're going to spend money where they wanna spend money. And if they wanna spend money with you, trust and believe, speak loud enough, they'll find you if they will
[01:11:22] Hmm. Where can people find you? Oh my gosh.
[01:11:28] Occasionally on Instagram, but they be pissing me off. I'm not chasing no dag on algorithms. On Instagram, it's GC grandmother, but on LinkedIn. there's grandma's houses on there as well as me, Phyllis, William Strader. My website, grandma's House. Everybody's welcome. You can holler at Grandma's house.
[01:11:47] That's my actual email.
[01:11:49] Oh, yes,
[01:11:52] yes, but it but yeah, you can always find me on my website. You can always hit me up. You, if you have an occasional, occasional question. Let me tell you, this is my disclaimer. If you have an occasional question, you get three. I am the, I am the brand genius. You get three questions after that.
[01:12:10] I turn into Santa Claus. I said checking my list and checking it twice. No, you can't ask me no more. Now you gotta pay me. So,
[01:12:20] That's awesome though. I mean, that's a really cool, I hope you're listening cuz that's a really cool offering, right? To say, Hey, I'm gonna open myself up to you for three questions. Like a genie,
[01:12:31] Mm-hmm.
[01:12:32] brand, genie. I love it because that, you know, sometimes that, sometimes that's all people need. They just need that little bit of push and it also plants that seed for, you know what, you helped me when I get.
[01:12:45] and I really wanna go to that next level. I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna pay you to, to get, because some people like, they might need that little bit of insight. Just like, Hey, listen to this hour long conversation. Cuz there's a, a whole ton of insights in here and sometimes you need something specific.
[01:13:02] But man, just, I, I find that so often when I talk to people, whether I'm coaching them or if we're going do, like working on strategy consulting, you name it, a lot of times people forget that there's, that you're planting seeds and you're developing relationships. It's like we were talking about earlier.
[01:13:19] It's, it's all about this, it's connection, it's community connection, contribution and it's just planting a seed that might grow. It might take a year, but as long as you keep holding true to that, to who you are, like you said, to, to, to hold onto who you are, own that, match that with your brand, your vendor.
[01:13:44] And when the, like you said, if you're, if you're loud enough and you're owning that, people will come.
[01:13:52] they will come
[01:13:54] and it's you. You don't have to you, you really don't have to chase money. And what social media has done that a lot of people don't take advantage of, including myself most of the time, is that, sweetie, you are a global brand. You can touch every corner of the world to any, well, I speak English.
[01:14:12] If you don't speak English, then I'm not for you. But you are a global brand. I have helped people in Italy, in London, Africa, and all of these different. You suddenly have the opportunity to be a global brand. You have the opportunity to be little Bank and take big bank. Go kick their fucking ass. Y'all
[01:14:30] mm
[01:14:30] go do it. I'm mean sitting up here waiting for somebody to give you permission.
[01:14:36] Phyllis, ugh. Thank you so much for sharing all of this wonderful insights and. Making me laugh so hard. I haven't laughed this hard on a show in a minute, and I just, I really enjoy spending time with you and and being able to hear all this wonderful, like I said, insights, your journey and the work that you're doing for people.
[01:15:00] Thank you so much.
[01:15:01] now you're so welcome, sweetie. This was so much fun and I, and you said, you know how, let's had some fun and we did. So I appreciate it.
[01:15:08] Well, that's it for this episode. Whether this is your first time listening or you're already a fan, thanks for being here. We hope you enjoyed the show. All lengths and show notes for this episode can be found@theartful.co. If you haven't yet, please subscribe to the show and leave a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks again for listening. Until next time, keep being artful.