029: Rhoda Johnson - Transformation through a polished image
Image Consultant & Makeup Artist shares the importance of self care and our image
Rhoda Johnson is the founder of Rhoda Design Group, offering personal brand and image consulting help for professionals to companies. She provides transformative private sessions and classes sharing her expertise from almost 40 years in the Beauty and Fashion Industries. Rhoda is a sought after keynote speaker and author of 50 Plus Marketplace News “Ageless Beauty” articles, Entrepreneur Platform Digital Magazine’s Personal Brand articles and her blogs.
Rhoda has consulted with celebrities like Stevie Wonder, Dap Sugar Willie and Freda Payne; ESPN’s Joe Theismann and Mike Patrick; Politicians, Attorneys; TED Talk speakers, authors and Global leader, Thandeka Tutu- Gxashe (Bishop Desmond Tutu’s oldest daughter). She has also consulted sales teams of Coldwell Banker Realtors, Ignite Group Realtors, Oakwood Homes, Commons on Champa Entrepreneurs, Women’s Leadership Foundation, Second Act Bizcon participants and more. She has appeared as a Denver Startup Week Panelist, featured guest on Dr. Peg’s radio show and Judith Briles national radio show “Author U”.
Rhoda has a Fashion Merchandising Degree from Brooks College in Long Beach, California. Certificate of Makeup Artistry from Cinema Secrets in Burbank California after studying under the legendary Hollywood Makeup Artist Stein family. She is licensed to teach Personal Development from John Robert Powers in Cerritos, California and JF Images Talent Agency in Denver, Colorado. She received the Certificate of Completion of SBDC Nxlevel Entrepreneur Program in 2005 Denver, Colorado, and the Certificate of Completion Co-Starters Program, Denver, Colorado in 2018.
NOTES
Rhoda’s nearly 40-years in the industry as a Hollywood makeup artist and image consultant
the funny story of how she met Stevie Wonder before working with him as his image consultant
the “polished image” — what that means to you and how it applies to your work and your mission, and why just getting dressed for work every day is so important
why self-care is so important to not only our image but to how we show up in the world and in our business
why the journey of transformation is so important to you and your work with clients
LINKS
TRANSCRIPT
Rhoda Johnson: 00:00:00 But it seems to me that the solution to live problems that we have in our society is because there's a lack of self love and hurting people hurt people. And so to me, if we all just kind of stop judging other people and turn that focus on ourselves and find out how can I show up a better version of myself, what does that look like? Not just externally, but how can I be kinder? How can I be more humble? How can I be more grateful? How can I, how can I be a better listener? People are not impressed by your accomplishments. Maya Angelou said it best when she said, people don't care how much you know who you are, but what stays with people is how you make them feel.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:00:50 You're listening to The Artful Entrepreneur podcast, a show about living, an inspired life filled with vitality, creativity, and fulfillment. My name is Gabe Ratliff and I'll be your host as I interview fellow creative entrepreneurs from around the globe to hear their stories and learn more about their work so that you can tap into your creative purpose and live a life that's drawn, not traced on the show. We talk about things like the creative process, personal development, community equity and contribution as well as the lessons learned along the way. All right, let's get to it.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:01:35 Hey, Artfuls! How are you doing out there? I hope you're having a great day. I'm really excited to be in your ears today and I'm really excited to share this amazing human with you today and I want to ask you, have you ever thought about your image? You know when people talk about branding and they talk about their look and their style and all of these things, but there's an overall image that is really important to how we show up and how we also do our work on a day to day basis. And that's something I'm really excited for you to learn more about through our guest today. And her name is Rhoda Johnson. And she is founder of Rhoda Design Group that offers personal brand and image consulting, help for professionals all the way to companies and she provides transformative private sessions and classes sharing her expertise from almost 40 years in the beauty and fashion industries.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:02:37 Rhoda is a sought after keynote speaker and is also author of over 50 marketplace news, quote unquote ageless beauty articles as well as entrepreneur platform, digital magazines, personal brand articles, and her own blogs. In this episode we talk about Rodas nearly 40 years in the industry as a Hollywood makeup artist and image. She shares the funny story of how she met Stevie wonder before working with him as his an image consultant. She talks about the polished image and what that means to you and how it applies to your work and your mission and why. Just getting dressed for your work every day is so important. She talks about why self care is so important to not only our image, but to how we show up in the world and in our business and why the journey of transformation is so important to you and your work with clients.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:03:31 It's a great conversation. I love her to death. She's an amazing human. I mean, she's worked with people from Stevie wonder, DAP, sugar Willie, free to pain. Joe Theismann, Mike Patrick, Ted talks, speakers, authors, and even Bishop Desmond tutus, oldest daughter. I mean she's had some amazing clients. There's so many insights that wrote a shares in this interview. I'm just very excited for you to hear this conversation because it goes all over the place. She's been through so much in her life, but is just this beam of light when she enters a room. And I'm just, it's such a treat to have her on the show. And it was very enlightening in this conversation for myself to think through how our image plays a part in how people perceive us and the potential judgements that they can make without you even knowing it and how much people can perceive about you without you even opening your mouth. And so I'm very excited for you to hear this conversation with her and to learn some of these insights as I did around our image and how we present ourselves to the world. And how much that can empower us as we do this great work.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:05:01 Hi Rhoda! Thank you so much for being here on the show today. I'm so excited to have you here.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:05:06 Hi Gabe. It's a pleasure to be here. I'm thrilled to pieces to join you today.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:05:12 Well, we met recently at a mindful leadership event and we were both smitten with each other pretty much immediately. We had such an amazing conversation. I just, I'm so excited to have you here. I love your everything, your aura, the work you're doing, where you come from, how strong you are as a woman, and the way that you show up and that you have fed that into the work that you're doing and how you interact with the women that you work with. I thought we would start with your journey as a makeup artist and an image consultant and just kind of share, you know, where that began for you and how it led to you, where you are today.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:05:52 Oh wow. It started as a teenager. I struggled with self-esteem. I was nerdy and awkward and it was a time when women were just starting to get into the workplace in in massive droves. I was born in 1960 so just kind of given you a little backdrop of the timeframe and being a teenager in the mid seventies just trying to find my, where I fit and, and, and trying to cultivate my identity in the midst of coming out of civil rights and women going in the workplace and, and being this opera teenagers. So the beauty and fashion industry just seemed to call out to me. I was a childhood prodigy, art prodigy. And so being in fashion industry seemed to help me,
Rhoda Johnson: 00:06:51 Really feel good about myself and finding ways to make sense of the awkwardness that I was going through and to show up in a way that I wasn't being teased a lot because I was being teased a lot at school.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:07:07 I connect with that. Yeah, very much. That was for eyes, gay, Gabe. I mean I had all kinds of nicknames because my mom, when I was young, spelled my name G A B without the E. And so it was even closer to "gay".
Rhoda Johnson: 00:07:25 Oh, right, right.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:07:26 Three letters. And, and you know, people just call me gay Gabe and all these things and, and you know, I'm four eyes and all this stuff. And I just remember, cause I've worn glasses since I was two, so yeah. So I didn't really, I couldn't hide that feature.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:07:44 No. We book and see it from a mile away. And at one point in high school they would always put, they would put stickers on my back. I didn't know it, you know, just main stuff that kids do. Yeah. And that's why the beauty and fashion industry really helped me to discover what made me feel good about myself in the midst of all that. And I, you know, I was thinking about it color as a child and even now as a woman that's about to turn 60 still excites me. It's kind of weird, but it does. And it doesn't matter how I see color, whether it's in nature or whether it's in fashion or just in looking in someone's eyes. I mean, it's just, it's awesome to be able to see color and experience it.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:08:43 Yeah. Well I first have to say you look amazing and congratulations to you rolling into soon becoming 60, looking as amazing as you do. And I don't mean that in a superficial way, I just mean the way that you come across period just comes with such vibrance and energy and youth, you know, and just the, the youthfulness and passion and fervor for life to be coming from this space of you know, that origin, right? Like your origin story where you're being taunted and feeling self conscious and to be now as an adult woman really, you know, 180 degree difference of that and just being now empowering others with that being what kind of led your way here? I just kudos to you. That's just awesome.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:09:43 Thank you Gabe. I love, love, love being able to help other people see the, their own beauty, their own magnificence. I think that we are sometimes over critical of ourselves and to help people get rid of that lens and really see the beauty in their imperfections and help them to embrace them and just to celebrate their positives.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:10:14 When you got started in this realm of makeup and and you know, beautifying yourself on the outside to begin working on the inside, what did that look like for you? How did you, you know, what was, what was the young Rhoda getting excited about in that way? What was kind of initiating that for you?
Rhoda Johnson: 00:10:35 I had a paper route as a teenager and I did, you found that I found that I would spend all my money at the drugstore exploring different skin care products and then at the mall buying outfits for myself. I'm one of six children and so I wore him. He didn't hand me downs a lot and I'm not complaining. My mom did an amazing job, but you know when you're wearing hit me downs to high school you get teased a lot. So that's how it started for me was trying to address, I had horrific acne at the time. And so and, and a unit brow and I was short and bold legged and it was just kind of, it was just a very awkward time. And so really discovering ways to make myself look better for me when I, the person that I looked in the mirror helped me to show up more confident in spite of the struggles and, and endure the teasing, knowing that I was on a journey of improvement in spite of the teasing and in spite of the awkwardness. And somehow that gave me hope and gave me joy.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:11:53 And then how did that turn to become, cause I mean you are 40 years in the industry, Hollywood trained, you have amazing accolades. I mean, we'll get to that in a second. Cause I, there were a few people that, I mean, Stevie wonder. Yes, yes, yes. Right. Kids. I said Stevie wonder and I mean, yeah, I was like, alright, we got something to talk about here. I'm excited to hear this. But how did that, when did that switch and to shift to becoming more of a professional role and what was that like as you started to transition in that way?
Rhoda Johnson: 00:12:36 I'm glad you asked. I remember like it was yesterday, I was looking in that I was looking in a fashion magazine and I saw this fashion college, this private fashion college in the back of a magazine and told my parents that's where I wanted to go. And I just felt this call on my life so strong to go to this school. And they thought I was nuts because I didn't know anybody in California. I had never been there. They didn't have the money to send me there. But I was determined that I had to go there. So they said, sweetheart, you buy, you pay for your one way ticket and we'll get you, we'll get you there. And it was kinda crazy cause my parents had a paper bag full of checks and money orders and cash that they dumped out on the Dean's desk.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:13:26 I'll never forget, I was so embarrassed and they said, this is all we have. Can you accept our daughter? So here I was at this private fashion college in long beach, California saying other students come in in limos with their maids and chauffeurs and literally me and my roommate were the poorest on campus and my parents really struggled to pay for the tuition. They didn't know how to fill out the forms for the grants and scholarships. So I got kicked out of class a lot because my parents couldn't afford to pay the tuition. But I kept studying. I ended up, I'll tell you a really fun, fun thing. Me and my roommate, we could not afford to go off campus to eat. And there were times when our cafeteria was closed for health issues. I don't know what that was about. And so we were lying.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:14:23 I said to my roommate, I said, this is what we're going to do. We're going to address up and insert ourselves at all the private golf barbecues that are happening in this wealthy neighborhood. And she was terrified. I said, just follow my lead. We're going to have fun. And we did. And it really, it really propelled me out of a V I was a very shy, introverted person in high. So this was a huge step for me to do something like that, to get out, put myself out there, to meet people, to talk to people that I'd never met and to have fun with it. And I, that really gave me the courage to insert myself in Hollywood and in Beverly Hills tomato, lot of different celebrities and to feel comfortable around them. So now here we are starting to work in Hollywood. What was that like?
Rhoda Johnson: 00:15:22 You know, it was amazing. It started with the Stein fam in the cinema secrets. I can't, I can't remember how I met them, but I ended up being pulled into apprentice with the sons that were coming up to learn the family secrets. And it was so cool to be able to learn Hollywood secrets that had been passed down for J through their family for generations and to get their thumbs up that I had this talent because I went to fashion college as an art prodigy to design, to be a fashion designer. But I got there and I couldn't sell if my life depended on it. So I ended up doing switched from sketching into using makeup as my medium in college and doing makeup for all the fashion shows. So that's where that started. Once I graduated from college and I studied under this family, then I began to go to John Robert Powers because I knew my image was not up to par to get me where I needed to go.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:16:36 And I had gone to a modeling school before I left for college, but that helped me get there, if that makes sense. From the hand me downs to get into this private fashion con college. And then once I was, once I had graduated and I realized, okay, I have a college look, I need to have a professional look in order to enter all the places that I needed to go. So I took courses at John Robert power, and I don't know if you know who they are, but they're the godfather of modeling agencies. They're the people that trained all the Motown acts and groom them for all of their performances. And I have to kind of backtrack a little bit. My RA in college, which live right next door to me and my roommate, she was the goddaughter of smokey Robinson. Oh, I know, right.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:17:32 Her dad was Johnny Bristol. He was a songwriter with Motown. So while I was in college, I got to be on soul train a couple of times and meet the Gordys. It was so cool. It was really amazing. Wow. No, right. I used to love soul train. I watched that so much. I love salty. I love dancing and I loved soul train. That is so awesome. Wow. Don Cornelius is an amazing gentleman. I was impressed with how well spoken he is or was rest his soul. And just, he's, he was just a total gentleman.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:18:16 Yeah, of course. Yeah. He always came across that way. Always. Yeah. Plus he had that fantastic voice.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:18:23 I know, right? So
Gabe Ratliff: 00:18:27 Silky deep.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:18:29 Oh, right. Just smooth criminal. Yeah. Big time, right? Yeah, yeah,
Gabe Ratliff: 00:18:37 Yeah. He was hard to miss. I remember every time, as soon as he'd start talking, I'd be like, all ears.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:18:42 I know, right. I think, I don't think there's anybody that has a voice like that.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:18:47 Yeah. It's super unique. Super unique. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I mean that's, that's just amazing having those connections and, and getting to have that kind of an experience. Especially then, I mean that was such a big expansion right from Motown getting into the 70s and with soul train. I mean there's like so much happening in that arena with the growth in cultures, like in, in different types of culture with whether it was like with music, the art, I mean just so many different avenues, movies, I mean just so many things were really exploding culturally in that way. I mean graffiti and all kinds of things are starting to come alive at that time. Stuff that hadn't been invented before, you know, that all kind of stemmed from the fifties and sixties it kind of initiating that space. But then post civil rights things really started to come on the scene and you started getting, now we've got television and people can actually, you know, start to see a wider range of culture and like myself, and I remembered watching that show, loving it being like, what is this? You know, just like it was so different and it just kind of like helped continue to pave the way for that. I mean that's, wow. How lovely.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:20:05 It was so much fun. Oh my gosh. And I was at a wedding Saturday and it was so fun. We were celebrating, I'm a community leader turning 60 and we had a soul train line at the party. No way. Yes. Oh, I love it. Throbbing the next day because we wanted to sit down, but the music was, you know, Motown, all that old stuff. So yeah, we have a blast, man. I love it. If never done a soul train line, I highly recommend it.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:20:47 Are you guys listening?
Gabe Ratliff: 00:20:51 We're both, we're both recommending this yet. If you haven't done this whole train line, do a soul train line. Yeah, that's amazing. It. I think it's the highlight of any party. Oh man. Yeah. And I, so I pretty much, you know, shortly thereafter, that was when Michael Jackson came into my life and break dancing was pretty much right after that. I remember my first record ever was Michael Jackson and I wore that thing. I got it on Easter. My parents actually were cool and got me, they'd get me like a cool gift on CR on Easter and you know, you get the candy right, you get the chocolate bunny and all that stuff. But like that Easter, they got me Michael Jackson and I was like, it was the, it was the thriller bi-fold that opened and he was laying with the tiger. Do you remember that? And I, yeah. And I, that was it. I was, that was it. From then on. I've just loved dance ever since.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:21:54 Well, you know, I'm wanted to meet him so bad. I'm from Indiana and they're from Gary, Indiana. And as a kid, when I remember when the Jackson five came out and we were all dancing on the playground, I inadvertently ran into his brothers. I ran into Tito of all places that Tuesday morning in the Valley and I ran into Jermaine on Hollywood Boulevard. We were all going into a party and he was driving in our beautiful convertible white rolls Royce. I ran into Randy, no Marlin at a fundraiser and got to see Lucille ball and give her a hug. It was just amazing. And then Joe Jackson, their father sat at my table at a birthday party that was hosted by Don Cornelius for Algero. So it was very cool to meet so many of the Jacksons.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:22:57 Wow. Algebra row. Hadn't thought about him in a while. Either one or not man. So many. Yeah, just bringing up so many memories. I, cause Motown was big in my house. We were, yeah, Motown was real big in my house. Speaking of which, so you've consulted with some, some pretty phenomenal people. I mean, Stevie wonder, Deb sugar Willie, free to pain. Joe Theismann. Mike Patrick. I mean just the list goes on. When, what do you have any stories you can share or, I mean, what was that like? Holy cow.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:23:33 I met, I actually met Stephen winder through his cousin wi. I met his cousin and Quill at church in LA. And I kept saying, he, I running into him and it was a very big church and he was trying to talk to me and he said, I'm Stevie Wonder's cousin. I'm like, yeah, whatever. Because everybody was always dropping names, Denelle [inaudible]. But in my case, it always panned out the beat they at work when they said cool, we started dating and a coil puts me on the phone with Stevie. And I stood in by it and I hung up, takes me to meet Stevie. And Stevie was filming a codec commercial. He was taking a little break at the piano and I got introduced to him and he says, everybody come over and meet the woman who hung up on me.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:24:29 Yes. Oh my God. It was so fun. And I got to tour with Stevie to New York city and meet Vanessa Williams and Sydney port EA. Oh my gosh. It was amazing. I can't even remember what this party was in Manhattan. But it was unbelievable. All the greats that were in this room. And my mind was just like, wow, this is an unbelievable, and just how he had such a great sense of humor. Stevie has an amazing sense of humor, but he also has this heart to give back and to serve humanity. And I love that about him. It's just the coolest thing. And he's still in that space. He's not, he's not shifted at all, which is awesome. Yeah. But at the, I think the coolest story was, so I got to be an extra on Jefferson's and different strokes and facts of life.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:25:35 So Todd brewed his dad, Jim bridges. I met him at a, at a nightclub in West Hollywood and there's this guy with him that was smoking this the biggest cigar I'd ever seen and laughing cause it looks so crazy. And he comes over and he cusses me out and I'm still laughing. And then I follow him as a comedian and Jim bridges comes over and apologizes for him and we just kinda hit it off. DAP and I became great friends and back, he would have me go with him to different things that he was opening for because he had a habit of having a bad temper. And so he said Hey, I'm going to do this show. I'm going to open for edit. James, can you do makeup on a friend of mine on the way there in the limo. I'm like, sure, I'd never done makeup in a limo, but I thought, yeah, I'm gonna go for it. And it was free to pain. I was like, wow, just beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:26:44 The show is amazing too.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:26:47 I saw at a James with, with TIF, she was about a year and a half shy before we lost her and man, that woman. So at last was our, we had two wedding songs at our wedding. We had a song by an artist called magnet who comes from a, I believe Norway. Hopefully I'm saying that correctly. And it had a whole lot of story around it. But then our second song to dance to was Etta James cause we both love her and love that song. I mean it's a hit, but it's just such a great song. And we got to go see her at the paramount here in Denver. We were eighth row and I think at the time she was, I want to say she was 80 I want to say she was 81 or 82 and she was dry humping her chair, dykes, you know, just, she's so sassy and so you know, sexy and just like she's, she was such a pioneer and that's one of the things I love about that era.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:28:15 I mean you got like Nina Simone edit James, like to seize like amazing people who are paving this way for women of today. You know, women are like yourself that are paving the way for younger women of today, right? Like just showing up in this way, like owning yourself and not being withdrawn from the world because of, of being teased or things like that. But actually stepping into yourself and being empowered. And, and that was one of the things I just loved about seeing Etta was that she, she ha, I mean no one was going to get in her way and I just, I loved it. It was so amazing to see her. There was the, this, I'll tell us really quick story. So she's, she's singing the show and she gets several songs in and this, this older, I'm going to go ahead and call her out. She was an older white woman. She kept yelling at last at last. Like every time she would stop, finish a song and it would be the break in between. This woman would just start yelling at last at last she stops and it's just like, honey, if you want to get up here and do it, yo damn self, come on up. This is my song. I'll do it when I'm damn good and ready. And then she went on and did it.
Speaker 6: 00:29:44 I'd be shut her up. Just shut her down. Was like, thank you. I've been doing these shows long enough. It's my song. I got this, it was so brilliant. I mean, we were just like, Oh, and of course, you know TIFF and I are just like, Ooh, Ooh honey.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:30:12 Yeah. And she was just sass. Ah, loved it. And they, I was just such a great story. And then, you know, of course we lost her shortly thereafter. But I mean just seeing her just continue to bring it like that was just so powerful and amazing and you know, and that with the, the how special it was a song for that being in our, in our wedding music too. Like it was just, that was just a treat.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:30:35 Wow. I appreciate you sharing that. And you know what I love is that ageism is a thing now and a lot of women that I'm speaking to are there. They're the most burnt out of our culture are in X baby boomers because those are the, that's the crowd that's taking care of elderly and possibly children at the same time and try to serve their communities. And so my heart especially goes out to that group of women because they seem to have lost their ability to dream and to really show up fully excited about their lives because they're so exhausted and they may even have health challenges because of all of what they're trying to juggle. And so I love that you shared that about ETA. How she in her eighties was still fully engaged with her purpose and wanting to bring the best of herself to wherever she was.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:31:48 I think that is awesome and it's a message for all of us that no matter how challenging life is and, and I know for me I can definitely say for me I've had some unbelievable challenges, but just being true to my purpose helped instead of focusing on the pain, I focused on the purpose cause I'm sure it at 82 at a James had some health challenges. I don't want to assume that. But you know, in our society at certain age you, you do start to feel some aches and pains and, and notice some things that are different. So, but it's amazing how when your eyes are set on and focused on your purpose, that it diminishes the amount of pain and the struggle that you be going through.
Speaker 7: 00:32:40 Hmm.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:32:41 Hopefully you guys were listening cause that was some, that was some power right there.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:32:46 Oh, thank you. [inaudible]
Gabe Ratliff: 00:32:48 Well, speaking of which Rhoda, I, I wanna kind of shift now to that purpose and that work that you've been doing. One of the things you talk about is the polished image for women and how that plays a part in how they feel about themselves and, and how they're showing up in the world. That's one thing that we both talk a lot about is like how we show up and, and and that's something I just am really not just excited but also feel like is such a powerful message that you speak through to that. So I was wondering if you could share like what the polished image means to you and, and how that applies to your work and your mission.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:33:34 I appreciate you asking. I know that showing up in a polished image got me through some challenging days when I was going through my divorce and custody proceedings. I was grateful during that time that I had been called to this work because if I hadn't been called to this work, I probably would've just let myself go and it made me more passionate about what I do because I could see how it was pushing me forward instead of just having me just be totally just not growing. So yeah, I, it's important at all ages because it's funny, I noticed on Hollywood sets when actors and actresses, when we would get them in hair and makeup and wardrobe, all of a sudden they will fully engaged and fully present in their role. They did a much better job reading their lines and I use that analogy for my clients because a lot of people work from home and I encourage them get dressed for work because you never know when a last minute zoom call is going to happen.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:34:55 You never know when a last minute meeting has popped up that you've got to get across town and you will miss the opportunity if you're not dressed for those kinds of surprises. But the other thing is you get a much better quality of work out of your, out of yourself because you're showing up ready for work, dressed for work. Does that make sense? And it it, it does affect your mindset. When you, the person that you're looking at in the mirror is polished and looking professional, then all of a sudden you're like, Oh, I better act polished and professional and your posture's different at home, at your desk. The quality of your voice is different on the phone with clients even I even noticed for myself, it's the quality of the tone in my emails. It affects that. So it's a ripple effect in showing up polished because there's a saying how you do anything is how you do everything.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:36:00 And so if you're committed to bringing the best version of yourself to your work every day and people see that your images consistent, then they internalize that to me. She's going to give me, she's going to overdeliver. She's going to give me an amazing product or an amazing service. I'm going to have a better experience of her because she cares about herself. I know she's going to care about me. It just doesn't serve us to show up, stressed out, burnt out, tired looking like we haven't had an I w worth of sleep, like we just threw something on because people internalize that to me and I got, is she even going to do what she said she can. She can do. That makes sense.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:36:54 Oh yeah. Well, and something that's been a shift for the way that I engage in that way is essentially, I believe it was gone. D says, you know, to live your example. And for me that was a big light bulb around that making those kinds of decisions around how we, I don't want to keep reiterating the the term, but you know how we show up because it really is relevant in that way. Right. And when you're, when you're speaking to people like we are now and people are listening to us and we're engaging with them, whether it's me coaching or your coaching or consulting and how we're interacting with them in that way and how we're engaging in that way. And if we're not actually living that example, it, like you said, it really shows and it leaves that impression for people. And so I totally get it.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:37:54 And I, that's something that I constantly ask myself that are, you know, are you living the example? Are you living the exam? It's the same way with treat. I remember this when I was a kid of, you know, treat others how you want to be treated. Right? And that stuck with me first. I mean, til, you know, still. And it really is true. And it's something that I think it's like we have some adults that we need to reiterate that statement to, right? Some of them are leaders in our government and world and you know, they need to think about how they're treating people because that, and that says a lot regardless of what people think. And the way that it, they, they ingest that example they're seeing however they ingest it. It's still an impression that's left is what I'm trying to say.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:38:50 And so yeah, I totally get that. I totally get that. One of the things I wanted to ask you as a followup to that is how does someone start, right? Like say you're speaking to your younger self and you're coming from this place that you're at where you're in this empowered state and you're, you're a lifelong learner. Like myself, you know, we've, we've already talked about that before and just how much we love that constant, you know, absorption of, of knowledge and, and growth. As you said earlier, how does someone start who's maybe not in that place or a struggling?
Rhoda Johnson: 00:39:28 I'm so glad you asked that. Self care is where it all starts and self love. And I think at circles back to what you were saying about the impact that we have on others when we learn to love ourselves. I was a community meeting and I, and I said, I may be over simplifying the solution, but it seems to me that the solution to a lot of problems that we have in our society is because there's a lack of self love and hurting people hurt people. And so to me, if we all just kind of stop judging other people and turn that focus on ourselves and find out how can I show up a better version of myself, what does that look like? Not just externally, but how can I be kinder? How can I be more humble? How can I be more grateful? How can I, how can I be a better listener? People are not impressed by your accomplishments. Maya Angelou said it best when she said, people don't care how much you know who you are, but what stays with people is how you make them feel.
Speaker 8: 00:40:42 Yeah.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:40:43 And I couldn't agree with that more. And so it's whether you're a young person starting out and you don't know what is the best image for me, or you're an older person on the other end of the spectrum and you don't know or anybody in between. It all starts with loving yourself first, unconditionally, if that's even possible. Just accepting your flaws, accepting your imperfections, and even just kind of finding that to be endearing about yourself and knowing and accepting that, okay, this is a part of me that I cannot change. I mean, to change the things that you can to make yourself look the best you can and to put your best foot forward, but also to accept the parts you that you can't change. And I think it's the combination of those two that we show up more authentic because we're more vulnerable.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:41:45 We're more transparent. When we embrace our imperfections, we identify what they are and we know that, okay, this is what I'm working on. But over here, this is what is already so great about me. And it's not coming from a place of vanity. Self love is not vanity. It's just silencing that inner critic that we all have and just learning to be kind, radically self-compassionate throughout the day when the inner critic starts to raise its ugly head and the voice gets louder to just not let that inner critic ruin our day and I think that that happens for so many people. It happened for me for years and I still struggle with it and then I find myself saying it's going to be okay. You're all right. Everything is good. What? Regardless of what it may seem like, because it's, it comes down to perception and perspective and I find when I get into that place of fear that when I shift into gratitude,
Speaker 4: 00:42:52 Yeah,
Rhoda Johnson: 00:42:52 Everything, I'm, I'm better with people. I'm, I'm kinder to myself as well and then people are ready to engage and I'm ready to make connections and hopefully meaningful connections that'll turn into relationships that I can enjoy for years. But I think we're all here at the end of the day. The work that I do is really about relationship creating relationship. And maybe that's not a perspective of how people see image consulting and personal brand. But when you think about it and your image, 80 80 to 92% of what you say about yourself as nonverbal. And so people are making judgements based on how you look before you say a word before they know your bio or all of that. And so it's important to express who you are in a way to connect with who you're trying to connect to. Those social circles, those kinds of people, to make yourself approachable.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:43:57 It's a compromise. You can't show up fully who you want to be because that may not get you to where you're trying to go. So you have to compromise like any relationship. And I, and I say that to my clients, it's like a dance. Like any relationship you have to compromise. You have to consider the other person that you're in the relationship with and what their needs are. So, for example, when I came here from Hollywood, I had to tone down my image. I couldn't be in Colorado with the Hollywood style because it made, it made me stand out and it made other people feel diminished. And I didn't want that. I didn't want to hurt people's feelings, so I wanted to tone it down, if that makes sense.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:44:48 Oh, I totally get that. Yeah. Cause I mean it's, it's a very different, I mean, same thing with New York, right? I mean it's just a very different community and culture that's there that's been established for so long that you, you are either aligned with it or you don't. And it's just a very different culture here. Even though there's a lot of transplants now from California, but it's, it's still, there's something about each community that makes it what it is. So I totally get that. I mean, that's, that's a lot to, to process. Thank you so much for sharing that. I love, I love your insights. In that way. I, you know, I thought it was fascinating that you use the word compromise because you know, a lot of times when you hear that you think of it in a negative fashion, but it's really interestingly, it's kind of going the other direction with it, right?
Gabe Ratliff: 00:45:41 Because you're, you're compromising between your future better self that you're striving towards and where you are now that that's got the inner critic and this not wanting you to get to this place because you're scared and unknown and you know, you're, you, it's not something you've done yet, so you're not feeling confident. And so there's this place that you're in between that you're, it's actually giving yourself the space to be better and it's really a compromise with your future self who is better and is progressing forward and growing. So that's just such a great analogy. I love it.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:46:20 I appreciate you saying that because I think that we, we may not, a lot of people may not realize it, but in our society there are social constructs and every social group has unspoken rules, if you will. Right? And if you're trying to insert yourself in certain social circles, you have to abide by those social constructs. Right? And part of the social constructs is showing up dressed and with mannerisms in that group so that you're not considered an imposter. Does that make sense? Up to tell you a funny story, I was invited to a yacht party in LA and wrap some friends that had just moved to LA from Ohio.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:47:16 I said, well, come with me to this yacht party. I'll come. I'll swing by and pick you up. Okay, so this was before cell phones, right? And so I pick them up and they're wearing flannel shirts and life jackets, right? In their mind it's a boat party, right? Well, [inaudible] is a boat. I mean it, you know, in the, in a literal sense, but you could imagine how awkward they felt on at this yacht party. Everybody's in formals and dressed to the nines and they're in flannel shirts and life jackets. And so I say that because a lot of people sometimes give me pushback when I want to show up and be who I am. And you can certainly be who you are in that kind of setting, but you also want to dress accordingly so that you fit in and so that you can fully partake in the festivities of the evening because they showed up like that. And I had no choice. I had to just go with it because the boat was gonna, the yacht was gonna leave the dock at a certain time. So it wasn't time for them to change. So I mean, they missed out on the party really. They were there, but not really, if that makes sense. And that's kind of how it is in life when we choose not to show up in the dress code of the social group that we're trying to insert ourselves and engage with. We're not fully participating with all that's available to us.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:48:57 So when you, let's do a thought experiment here. So say you are beginning to have a relationship with a client or a person that you're, you're assisting with with personal branding and image consulting and they're giving you that push back of, I want to be who I am and I'm asking for a friend, wink, wink. You know, how do you, how do you speak to that when someone's saying, you know, I want to be who I am and maybe I'm not that, you know, cut from that cloth and I'm wanting to be in that space and play in that playground. How do you speak to them in that way when they're giving you that push back?
Rhoda Johnson: 00:49:48 I love that you asked this question. It happens almost every single client because was frightening changes. Terrifying. It really is. It's, it's really a journey that I take with my clients of transformation and I know that that's going to happen. I know they're going to freak out. I know that they're gonna get scared. It's the old version of themselves. It's, it's kinda like they're stuck in between two different places is when it happens. They're also, they're not quite their new self yet. They're right in the middle. And so because they don't know what the new version of themselves looks like, all they know is where they've been. So their tendency is to want to run back to that even though they've hired me to help them get to this new place. And so each and every time, what I do at the very beginning of our time together is identify what their goals are, what their professional goals are, what their social goals are, what their business goals are.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:50:52 And when that happens, and I know what's going to, I pull out that sheet that they wrote on and I read them, this is what, this is what you said you wanted to do and, and we're doing this together. It's not me dictating an image to them. We're going through or unpacking all of those details together, piece by piece. And I'm explaining why, why in each and every part of that process so that they understand and they digest that. So when they do get to this new version of themselves, they're thrilled to pieces and they're still a little terrified cause it's, it can be a one 80 degree difference from where they came from and their family and friends are like, who are you? But I get to remind them, your family and your friends are not the social circles that you said you wanted to get into. So helping them to make, make peace with that, to help their family and friends that are around them. Understand, this is what I'm trying to do with my life and in order to me in order for me to elevate my career, I've got to make these changes.
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Gabe Ratliff: 00:53:45 Do you watch queer queer eye? I used to. So the new season, I absolutely adore that show so much. It's like the big, what I say is, it's like the big bear hug, the world needs because the, the, the guys on the new version are absolutely amazing and they have found something really special with that group of the fab five. And one of the episodes in the new season I think is just such a wonderful example of what you just said. This is a powerful episode. We were really, really moved by this one. This gentleman was shot by someone in his community and you know, he, he was in the city and it was that kind of environment where people carry and it was, you find out later that it was just a situation kind of went sideways where he just thought the guy was strapped as well and was gonna make a play.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:54:54 And so he was just defending himself. And you find this out because during the episode they actually, there's a little bit of a spoiler, but I don't care cause it's worth the story. The, they get together. And one of the gentlemen in the fab five, Karama Brown, I love him. He's just such an amazing human, but he actually got them together and they essentially forgive each other for what happened. And he explains what situation was. But what was even more powerful is that, you see, so he's, he's, he's paralyzed. He's in a wheelchair after he was shot and he has started a nonprofit called disabled, but not really. Yeah, it's, yeah. And so he is an athlete. He's a para athlete and he has just completely, you know, essentially flipped the script on being, you know, a handicapped person and, or disabled, right. And saying like, no, it's not really, and he's, he's gotten just shredded.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:56:12 He's ripped. But one of the things about him is that he is not showing up in the way he wants to, to be a leader of a nonprofit. Right. And so that's part the whole thing about them doing this make-over on him. Cause he wants to be in this space and wants to interact in this way and wants to show up as this leader of a nonprofit who's helping guide people into this place of understanding that they're not disabled. They're disabled but not really. Right. Yeah. Powerful. And then when, and then when you see them forgive each other, it's just, I mean that was just, I mean, over the top because when they explained to what happened and where they were and how it's changed his life and now he's doing something with it in such a positive way. I mean it was just, wow, it's super powerful. And so I just wanted to share that because it's, it's, it was a perfect example, I felt of exactly what you're talking about, where, you know, someone wants to get there in this trajectory trying to get to this place, but there they just can't do it themselves. And so someone else like yourself has to step in and help them visualize that transformation.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:57:28 Absolutely. Hold space with them and for them, it's beautiful to be able to guide them with compassion. I think that people have an impression from other TV shows that this process can be cool. And that's not my approach. My approach is to come with a lot of compassion and patience and nurturing because I know that transformation is, is difficult. Anything that's being transformed, it's painful, the process is painful. Whether it's a butterfly, whether it's a diamond that comes from a piece of coal transformation is a painful process. And helping people understand that upfront so that they know, you know, we just, we're going to do this together. And, and to really encourage them to know that they're courageous in this, that they're, they have more courage than they think they have and to keep their eyes on their goal instead of the challenges in the process.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:58:30 Because I think when you were talking about this guy that was disabled but not really, I couldn't help but think he, his mind is very powerful and that's where it all starts. I mean, I have had the opportunity of working with lots of millionaires and, and people of various economic places. And one of the things that I noticed was over and over again, the difference between people that are successful and are willing to keep growing is what they're thinking about. And so to encourage people to be mindful of your thoughts because that's what's going to take us to the next level like this young, like this man that was disabled and, and chose not to let that identify him, choosing to not let our past where we've been be the lens in which we see ourselves, to be willing to open our minds to a blank canvas and we get to put new paint on that campus in creating a new image.
Rhoda Johnson: 00:59:46 And that can be exciting. It doesn't have to be painful. It can. The, the only part that is painful is letting go of old limiting beliefs, letting go of the old way that we see ourselves. And I think that oftentimes we see ourselves through the pain and the challenges we have gone through instead of our dreams through the lens of our dreams and our goals, which I think can be a lot more positive, really, really connecting to our why. Why are we doing this? Because when you re reconnect to your why, then the inner critic is hardly hurt at all because the why can be super loud and help you get to the next step. And to take it in steps instead of trying to do it in elite because it is a process.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:00:41 Oh, I totally get that. I've started doing a I gratitude journaling in the morning and that's something that's been coming up for me is just, you know, I, I essentially start with gratitude, but then one of the things I've been trying after after that lately and experimenting with is sort of just the brain dump of what I'm stressed about, you know? So it's like, I'm going to start with what I'm grateful for. And then the next paragraph is like, okay, now here's where my monkey mind is at right now. And it, you know, it essentially we talked about this over at the cafe, right? We talked about how to kind of wind down in the evening and, and be able to give yourself the opportunity to, to rest and get a good night's sleep so you can, you know, arrive properly the next morning to get to work and, and, and show up how you want to. And so that's something I've been trying to is just to get that out of my brain and you know, just see it out loud. Like, okay. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about is all of these things. Okay, cool. Now that I'm done with that, let's move on. You know,
Rhoda Johnson: 01:01:58 It's awesome that you do that. Gave I, I do a gratitude walk every morning in nature.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:02:03 I love that. I was just sharing that with somebody the other day that you told me you do that.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:02:07 Oh man, it's, it is so amazing because what, and the reason why I do it is because I want to fill up on the, the sunlight we were supposed to get every day. And the fresh air and the, the, the beauty of nature, the harmony that's there, there's so many lessons that we can learn from just being present in nature and being still and being quiet and listening to fill up on that so that I can serve from a full cup instead of an empty cup. Because I know that whatever I'm meeting with clients, whether it's a networking or I'm doing a presentation or one-on-one, I want to bring the best of myself to that equation so that it's a better experience for all of us. And, and that's, that's the way that I fill up every morning is taking this gratitude walk and, and sometimes it's cold and sometimes it's dark and sometimes it's magical when it's cloudy out and then all of a sudden the sun will peak through and it just makes it, just, little things have made me just really get excited. And I think I was sharing this with you at the cafe. The thing that makes me most excited is to see your weed thrive through the crack of the sidewalk. I just think that is the ultimate sign of resilience. That somehow life finds a way to thrive in the midst of challenges. And it just excites me for the whole day when I get to see that.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:03:48 Oh yeah. I love that visual too. Cause it just says so much. It's, it's also the thing I love about the, the analogy that Bruce Lee talks about around water. How, you know, it's, it's when he was talking around G Coon DOE and, and this, you know, how to flow like water, but how water can also break rocks. And I just love that kind of visualization of, you know, you've got this thing that's so delicate, but that can, you know, break through concrete and how life finds a way, you know, it's just, it's, I, I find that to be a similar analogy. That's just, it's just such a beautiful visual to have, you know?
Rhoda Johnson: 01:04:32 Wow, I appreciate you sharing that. I didn't know that water breaks rocks. Yeah.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:04:39 Yeah. He was talking through this whole concept around, you know, how it flows through things, but that with enough force water can just crack a rock, you know, and it's, it's how erosion has occurred with the earth over millions of years and just how it can be two things at once. You know, it can be this very fluid, beautiful life bringing thing, but it can also be so destructive and powerful at the same time. And it's just, I, I love that.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:05:11 I appreciate you sharing. It reminds me of I can't remember his name. He's a Japanese physicist and he did an experiment on water and it was powerful for me and life changing too because it was a demonstration of the power of our thoughts. He had sent a blessing to a body of water. No, no words, just mine. Just, just sent a blessing on verbally to this water, put it under a microscope and it took on prisms like a snowflake and then he took the same body of water and just sent a cursing to that water. No words. Again, just just his mind put it under the microscope and it was disturbing images and his whole point was the power of thought and I know that that is a real thing because I remember working as a makeup artist at Nordstrom and a customer complaining that I was judging her and I had an, I hadn't spoken to this woman, hadn't said a word, but some people can feel the energy of our thoughts, which we know as aura.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:06:23 Some people are more sensitive to that and so it really, it really made me take notice and and really get one mindful of what am I thinking, what are the quality of my thoughts and how is it going to affect the people that I'm around. It also affects what comes out of our mouth. It affects our choices. It's just a domino effect. And so it's important. And then in my own journey as di became burdened with a lot of health challenges, I had discovered brilliant neuroscientists, dr Caroline leaf and and her, she's got probably 30 or 40 YouTube videos. She really demonstrates the power of thought on the body, the mind body connection, and how our thoughts really impact how we feel, the quality of our health. And I even think our relationships because just like the one woman could tell, I was judging her in my thoughts and I hadn't said a word. How many other people are feeling that too? You know? And that's part of our brand. That's part of our image. It's, it's all of that. It's, it's our thoughts, it's the, it's the quality of our voice. People can tell how compassionate or sincere we are. And all of that starts with the thought.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:07:50 And I remember I went to the emergency room like several months ago. My son a lot took me, I couldn't even turn my neck to the left and the doctors in the emergency room said, well, did you get injured? Did you? I said, no. He said, well, you've got a long road of recovery. We can't get you out of pain today. We're going to give you some lighter cane shots and set you up for physical therapy. And I started remembering and I thought, wait a minute, if my thought got me in all this pain, then changing my thoughts can get me out of this pain and with, with, with less than a week, I had no pain. H you know, the, the stress that I put on myself from being a perfectionist. Yeah.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:08:42 Hands up for those that you can't see right now. My hand is up perfectionist right here.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:08:49 That in and of itself is stressful when you agree game. Yeah. Yeah.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:08:55 So how do you, how did, how did you, let's let's go through that. How did you make that switch from you leave the doctor and you are thinking back to wait a second. My thoughts are really powerful and are probably what helped get me here. How did you actually initiate that shift and start to take action on getting to a week later where you weren't feeling pain?
Rhoda Johnson: 01:09:25 Thank you for asking. I let go of being perfect of trying to appear perfect of trying to do things perfectly. I really am passionate about over-delivering to my clients and I think I'm more concerned about that than they are. And I realized it was probably causing some stress for them too, because if I'm stressed out, then I'm bringing that to them. So I had to just relax and be vulnerable and transparent enough to communicate that with others that, Hey, this is what I want to give to you. And hearing from them, that wasn't their expectation at all, that I'm, I'm putting that stress on myself. And so learning to relax is been the biggest challenge of my life because I'm a type a personality. And the gratitude walk helps me stopping throughout the day. And one of the things I started doing with clients is I start with a laugh break because laughter is healing.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:10:34 It's great, it releases a lot of stress and orphans and it helps us not take life so seriously and take ourselves so seriously because we're here to have fun. We're here to love each other, and we're here to have fun. And when it gets to be stressful and more serious than that, then I have to kind of regroup and go, wait a minute. When I, when my body is saying, excuse me with pain that I need to take a day off, that I need to laugh, that I need to dance, that I need to play, make time to play and to remember to be present because the end of the day for me, I find that I'm in those tents. Neck is tense, head is, you know, all of those things that are tense and I, I really check in with the quality of my thoughts and I'm like, I'm not even present.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:11:27 There's nothing happening in this moment that is creating this stress. I'm not being attacked by a wild animal. I'm not in a car. You know what I mean? And so just shifting into the present and in what is happening right now, instead of all the things on my to do list and understanding that there are always going to be things that are going to be on the to do list that at the end of the day it's about being fully present to the people that are in my life, in that very moment, and engaging with them on the most authentic level that I can. So that's what really helped me shift out of not being able to turn my neck at all to the left, to being able to being fine is just being present and learning how to be a human being instead of a human doing. Learning how to just be just sit and breathe and watch the leaves. Watch the rain sometimes. Yeah, I'm just writing that down as another amazing quote. No worries.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:12:38 Not to be a human doing be a human being.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:12:41 [Inaudible] Just to be, I mean, give myself permission to be what helps me to be present more than anything or my two grandsons, Oh my gosh. Because kids have a way of being playful and spontaneous. And I know animals are like that too, where it gets us out of our heads. I heard a man say once, the longest journey will ever take is from our head to our heart. And so I check in where am I right now? Am I in my head or him? Am I in my heart? Because people can feel that if you're a type a personality like I am, you can be over, it can be overthinking. And so when I get out of my head and into my heart, I'm more playful. I have more, I'm, I'm more fun to be around. It's, it's like kids or animals, they're not self-conscious, they're just having fun. And that's where I shift to.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:13:43 Okay. Yeah. And I mean, that's something that society, as we get older, I mean I see it with people and I even self realize and self monitor when I'm engaging with, so our niece and nephew are really are like our grandkids for you. That's who we vote on. And, and just that's where we get that okay. That playful time quite often. And I self monitor myself to see, you know, am I squashing that? And that's something I see societaly that happens where, you know, it's like as we get a little older, you get into your teens and it's like you can't play anymore. You can't be creative anymore unless that's your aptitude and that's going to be what you end up going to school for. You know, and it's like this thing that then turns into this commodity in this thing that's gonna you know, make you your money so that you can then continue to fall in line.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:14:43 You know? And it's like I, my whole thing about drawing your life, not tracing it, is that that's what society wants a lot of people to do is just continue to trace other people's life. Meanwhile, we wouldn't have these amazing things that happen and amazing people like say, you know, for example, like Elon Musk who are trying to break out of norms and try things and experiment and do things that are fantastical to, to elevate us into a whole new realm than we were, you know, feeling like we could achieve and we wouldn't be where we are without people like that. So, you know, it's something that I constantly try to think through when I'm hanging out with them and just kind of thinking through like [inaudible] you know, not to get too heady, but it's something that I'll kind of step back when I'm hanging with them and just kinda think through like, how are you, how are you showing up?
Gabe Ratliff: 01:15:32 How are you living your example with them? Cause you know, they watched how we live, not how we talk. They're not paying attention to what we say as much as how we interact. And that's something that I think through when I'm around them. Because I remember when I was younger, you're continually kind of getting pulled into this place of growing up and improving and doing good in school and getting to the next school and then go into the next school and you know, and then you graduate and then you, you know, start your job and it's this tracing that occurs and it's just like people, you know who think other people have a better life and the grass is greener. Whoa. A whole concept, you know, it's like everybody thinks the other thing is better. People that, you know, if we come back to how we look and the image that we have, this is something that's been resonating a lot for me lately.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:16:32 But you know, a lot of people it's like if they're tall they want to be, you know, like maybe shorter and he like has a lot of people slouch that are taller and it's like they have to like shrink down to people who are average or shorter. And you've got people that are short, that want to be taller and people that are stocky that want to be slender and vice versa. And there's like all these things, it's like never ending people wanting to be something else. But it all comes back to like you said, you know, being whole with who you are and appreciating the F what might be considered a flaw and an owning it. And I really appreciated you saying that earlier cause I feel like it's really relevant to this particular conversation.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:17:15 Oh, I love that you shared that I couldn't help. My heart was just excited to hear you share that because I think as I've gotten older, I don't feel older and I think that it may be because I'm a creative and I feel like creatives have this amazing way of helping people that are not creative play. I had a creative friend remind me, you know, as a, as a business owner, I get caught up and admin and doing my books and non-creative stuff. And he said, don't forget at the end of the day that you're creative and you have to make time to play. And I think that that's a message not just for creatives, but all of us, that not to lose sight of that inner child, to let that inner child come out and play whatever that looks like. I remember at this party Saturday there were some business owners there and they wanted to dance, but they're like, well, I'm a, I'm so and so, you know, and, and, and just grabbing them by the arm and saying, come and play.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:18:23 I mean, remember how that felt when we were kids. When someone, another kid invited you to play, then all of a sudden, whatever it is you were soaking about, you forgot about it because you were engaged in the play. And as an adult, we forget to play. We forget to let the inner child out to play. And I just encourage people to really in get in touch with that because it makes us more fun to be around who doesn't want to be around a fun person. Right. And so making time to play whatever that looks like every day because it's life isn't to be endured. It's to be enjoyed and to stop and take time to notice little things and appreciate little things and to play. Whether it's a, it's a laughter break or whether it's just singing out loud in the car, pretending you're a rock star to your favorite song is as loud as you want to and nobody's hearing you. Right. Or dancing like no one's watching at home, whatever that looks like, just to make time to play. We all need that.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:19:42 Yeah. I remember a conversation I had with my mom several years ago and she, she made this, this comment that I just, it stuck with me for so long because it, I now I get it as I've gotten older, you know, and I'm not, you know, the, the twenty-something when we had the conversation, but she talked about how she's still that young girl inside, you know, and she's like [inaudible] she's like, my body is, is, is growing older, but inside I'm still, you know, this young veer aisle, 20 something woman, you know, she's like, that never went away. I've just, my body's grown older and has changed and it was just so fascinating to me. And you know, as I've gotten older I can, every once in a while we'll reconnect with that interaction with her, you know? And I'll just think about, gosh, it makes so much sense, you know?
Gabe Ratliff: 01:20:42 But it's something that people don't really talk about a lot and that's something I really respect about, you know, our elders is that I've, I've always loved having conversations with my elders at whatever age I was. I was just always fascinated with like their stories and just that experience of life that they've had that they can pass on and just the crazy experiences that people have. That's part of why I do the show. I love people's stories. And you know, it's interesting when you look at it from that lens, right? Cause you think about how that really is the case. Our spirit and our, our consciousness inside is really just evolving. But we're still that like young, playful person inside. It's just the body is having to you know, age because of, of life. And it's just, it's just fantastic to me to think about what that's like.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:21:35 So whenever I interact with people, I try to think through that, you know, where I'm interacting with their spirit and their soul no matter what age they are. Recently I was hanging with someone who is younger but is absolutely amazing, like old soul, young spirit, you know, kind of par, you know, young at heart but, and is actually young in body. But it's like this really like beautiful old soul very wise. And I was having that exact moment and I shared that with her because I'm like, it's so awesome to be hanging out with you and your, you know, your body might be younger, but you're, you're such a, you know, much further along in your soul, you know, and like that's really who we're interacting with regardless of skin tone or age or gender or you know, how we speak to each other. You know, if we're from a different country, speak a different language, you know, we're all just really this, this entity that is, has this, you know, wrapper around it. That is what differentiates us. But meanwhile we're really just this like entity that, and I'm getting woo here, but like, I just think that that's really what is so interesting about when we interact with each other and why people come up with these sayings. Like, you know, old soul, young at heart, you know, stuff like that. I love that you shared that because that's, that's the space that I tried to get my clients to see. We're going through a journey
Rhoda Johnson: 01:23:06 Of transformation with her image is are really working on making sure that the outside, their outer expression of themselves is in alignment with who they really are on the inside. A lot of people are not intentional about the way that they put themselves together. They buy what's on sale or what they see as celebrity wear or just what they've been used to. They kind of get in a rut with that or become complacent and when you get to reconnect with, Oh, I get to wear something that really shows that I'm this creative that I'm into wellness, then I'm, you know, those are the little nuances that I really try to bring out in my clients so that they're in alignment and when they're in alignment, they walk in a room and they have this amazing presence that people take note of because they don't have to shout who they are.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:24:04 Their image says it for them. I definitely noticed that for you. Oh, thank you. So you're actually living that example. Yeah, being intentional about it. I'm dressing for the people that I'm going to be meeting with and really educating my clients on doing the same, you know, you dress differently with a group of leaders than you would with a group of high school kids, right? If I'm going to be speaking and working with high school kids, that's going to be a totally different vibe than dress dressing for leaders or potential clients and just really taking that in so that, I mean, cause that's how we are wired as humans. You know, we're gonna we want to connect with people that seem more like us. Right? That's at face value at least until we I mean all of us are on this journey and a lot of us are intentionally seeking to connect with people that don't look like us.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:25:06 But that's just kind of like, what is it, the default setting, if you will. Right. We were drawn to people that are, that seem most like us just at a glance. Don't you find that to be true? At least we feel more com most comfortable because we already know, okay, they're dressed like us. Their mannerisms are like us. So this, I kind of already know where this person is coming from and when we see someone that stress completely different from us, we tend to be more off Standish because we don't know what that dress represents. We don't know what that is. We don't have anybody in our social circles that looks like that or dresses like that. And so we tend to not engage as openly with that with that other, and I challenged myself to be intentional about engaging with people that don't look like me and don't dress like me and don't act like me because we're all humans. There's humanity. We all need each other. And I believe we're better together than we are separate here, here.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:26:20 And just like in Hollywood, I find myself here in Colorado inserting myself as a black woman in different cultural settings because I, I love diversity. I love learning about other cultures. I was at a family gathering at a client of mine who's Japanese, who's also become a friend and her family members were whispering, who is this random black woman here? I was like, that would be me because I mean, I didn't want to just read about the culture or see it in film. I wanted to experience it. I love to have people, different cultures to my home for dinner or go to their home because I feel like that's when we really get to know each other. We really get to take off a mask. You find out where we're or we're really coming from. It continues to bless me. I mean I have a neighbor who doesn't look anything like me.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:27:23 We were completely opposite in our lifestyle and we've gone to Rockies games together and she couldn't go tonight. So she gave me tickets to go. Wow. And you know, having her in my home and chatted it up for a good while last night. And I feel like when we get out of our comfort zone and we make friends with people who don't look like us, who are nothing like us, we learn not, not so much more about other people, but we learn about ourselves and we learn about life. And life is more exciting to me. Embracing people of different cultures and just different walks of life, whether they're someone that's disabled or someone that is, I've, I've always since college and passionate about helping homeless people and I've learned a great deal from homeless people and I've been homeless myself with different challenges that have happened. So I just think that at the end of the day when we look at another human being to see ourselves in them as opposed to separate. Does that make sense? Oh yeah, yeah.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:28:39 To me. But you know, that's part of the reason that I'm doing again doing this show is because I'm trying to help get out this kinds of messaging and just this kind of platform for us to be able to have this kind of dialogue and for you to share your stories and the impact that you're having and where you're from. So that maybe some other people that don't understand it can hear it. And, and beyond here that actually listen and you know, learn from it and be able to put themselves in that place. Because I think that, you know, you mentioned earlier, it's, it's, it's really around putting yourself in those other shoes. It's like you talked about earlier around the future self and the compromise that you make with your current self. And I think that's also what we have to continue doing. Like you're saying, you know, putting yourself in these positions where you're, you might feel a little out of place, but inevitably you're actually empowering yourself and empowering your community and empowering the work you're doing because you're not just sitting on the sidelines and you're not just letting the world go.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:29:55 By being complacent, you're actually meeting new people and engaging in different cultures and environments and pushing yourself out there and actually making a difference and letting people see how you show up in the example that you live as opposed to, you know, a lot of people, they sit at home or wherever and they say all these things that on social media, but they're not actually an engaging in a way that speaks. They're not taking action on the way that they actually feel about something. They're just liking or not liking it. Or, you know, making snide comments, but they're not actually engaging in a way that speaking to making a difference to make it better.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:30:37 I love that you said that one of my favorite childhood memories was sitting on the front porch talking to my older relatives or just talking to anybody that just engaging. We were not, we were not created to be in isolation. And I think that that's one of the primary causes of the mental illness epidemic. They actually, I heard a story that there's actually an Australia, they've appointed the minister of loneliness. People are lonely because they're communicating behind social media and they're not communicating in a way that's authentic. Often I know that, you know, we're, I know that social media has its rules in ways that we have to show up, but I'm hoping through this podcast and through the ways that I shove that people can see me more vulnerable, transparent, less perfect meat because I'm not perfect. None of us are. And when we admit that, then it takes the pressure off of all of us.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:31:44 Then we're going, Oh shoot. Good. That'll have to be perfect. Right. Okay. Yeah, I couldn't be one of my mentors who name is Olivia Omega Wallace. And what I love about her, she is a marketing personal branding expert that this community is honored to have. But what I love about her is she's so transparent about her failures, about her imperfections and that has helped me to heal in that area. And I go, Oh good. I can be transparent with people and be vulnerable about missing the Mark and not being perfect, you know? And, and I find that as I see it, I'm just debating in different classes with her that it relaxes everybody in the class to know, Oh good. Our teacher isn't perfect, so I don't have to be perfect either. That right. Just to show up and do my best and not beat up on myself is the way I'm living my life now. And not letting that inner critic just run wild. Just going, well, I did my best. Right. And tomorrow's another day. And just taking one step at a time, but also realizing all of humanity is not perfect either. None of us are, no matter how much money we have or how famous we are, at the end of the day, we're all just humans trying to do the best we can with what we know.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:33:17 Do you know bill hater?
Rhoda Johnson: 01:33:19 No. But is there is somebody I should know?
Gabe Ratliff: 01:33:22 He has issues with anxiety. He's in, he's an actor and a comedian and is constantly, he was on Saturday night live and so he's had to do live television, so he was a mess. I recently saw this video where he spoke about his problem with anxiety and how bad it was, especially as he was, you know, as a kid growing up and didn't have tools to work through that anxiety and those panic attacks. And he actually shares in the video just what that was like and how he dealt with the inner critic, which is essentially like what was happening is he was just freaking out. You know, that he was gonna mess up and he's doing, you know, these live shows and he doesn't have, you know, it's not being edited. He can't retake it. And so he would get even more stressed out. And he, he essentially gave it a name and like made it like this entity that he could just kind of engage with and be like, Oh it's you.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:34:27 Oh you're here. Okay. It was like on his shoulder, you know, he's just like, Oh that's you. Okay. And he like befriended it rather than, you know, he gave it this kind of personification and was able to kind of interact with it in a way as opposed to freaking out about it showing up. And, and he was essentially saying, you know, I'm sharing this so that younger people that don't, or, or anyone who's never figured out a way to manage it, that they can potentially use this tool that I've figured out works for me. And I just thought was such a great story. Cause you could see as he was talking through the story how he's kind of built up this relationship with this fear and this anxiety and made it this sort of personified thing that he can, you know, it's like, it's not a buddy, but you know, it's like this, this, this thing that he can interact with and be like, Oh cool, you're here. Okay, cool. We're good. You just stay right there. I'm good. I'm going to go do my thing and not let it be this overwhelming emotion that becomes physical, you know, panic attacks and things like that.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:35:31 I love that you share that game. I think it helps all of us. I've certainly been in that place too and really learning to not be at war with yourself, not fighting the inner critic, but just learning. And the tool that I learned was, thanks for sharing. When the inner critic shows up, I'm like, okay, thanks for sharing. And not to make more of it than it is because whatever we focus on expands or grows and I want to make sure that what I'm focused on is what is good in my life. What it is I have to be grateful for and to and to take the pressure off by saying I don't have to be, if I show up the best version of myself, then I've done a good job. I don't have to compare myself with someone else. There's only one gate. There's only one Rhoda, right?
Rhoda Johnson: 01:36:30 There's only, we're all unique in and of ourselves, and if we just own our uniqueness and just find that to be wonderful and cherish that, then we can show up in a way that we're at. We're at peace. We don't have the anxiety worried about what other people are thinking because humans are fickle. I mean, one minute people like you and in the next minute they don't, and I heard this beautiful saying years ago, what people think of you is none of your business, what you think of you is your business. And so just remembering that you know from moment to moment, depending on how a person's day is going, they may have negative thoughts towards you. They have nothing to do with you at all. Just that's they're projecting outward, right? There may be even projecting their inner critic on you and to say in so many words no thank you, that's yours.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:37:36 And I do that by just staying positive and staying unkind so that they can own what they need to own. I love the example that Martin Luther King jr gave us when a bigot spin on him in his face. And I think I shared that with you how Martin Luther jr took out his pocket square and carefully wiped off the spin off of this base, folded it and handed it to the man and said, I believe this belongs to you. And I thought that was a wonderful example of not allowing this negative behavior from this other person. Two, inform his identity and how he felt. And I think that's brilliant. I think if we could all learn from that, but he did it with so much compassion but also wisdom. And that's how I am committed to showing up, is being compassionate towards people regardless of how they are. Knowing that hurting people hurt people. And so if someone is coming across in an unkind way to know that that person is either having a bad day or that person is really hurting inside because we're not born to be babies or not me little children, I mean, they're taught that rude and mean behavior is taught. It's not a natural thing. At least that's my, that's just something that I experienced.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:39:09 Yeah. And it's generally projection, right? Or projecting what we're going through or some frustration that we're having a lot of times.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:39:18 Right. I think we've all done it. I know I've been guilty of been rude to someone and then later an end because that person chose to stay nice to me and stuff, bite of it. It really can convicted me of it. And I thought, wow, I was really not very nice to that person. And so they taught me something. It was a teaching moment. And so when it happens to me, it's like, Oh, okay, good. It's my turn to teach now. Right. So it's kind of all paying it forward. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:39:51 Well, Rhoda, Oh my gosh. You know, I could talk, we could talk forever. We've done it already. I'm going to start winding us down. I feel like that was such a great way to, to kind of wrap it around how we show up and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's story and how we can pay it forward to others. But I do have some fun wrap up questions if that's okay. Yeah. What is something that you believe that other people might think is insane?
Rhoda Johnson: 01:40:19 When I say that I want peace on earth and they say it's not possible.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:40:27 Well, you're not alone. I'm right there with you. So there's two of us. We're not in Zane, a favorite movie or documentary.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:40:38 Oh God. My favorite movie is the wizard of Oz and the Wiz. I continue to learn from those. There's so many layers, so many layers there. They're very meaningful. I think, you know, the years, every time I watch it I was thinking, I want to watch it again. I learned something new. There's just a whole new layer there.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:41:00 I'm curious what you're gonna think about this one. What have you changed your mind about in the last few years and why?
Rhoda Johnson: 01:41:07 I changed my mind about fashion. It used to be all about wearing the latest designer and it's changed to finding goodies at the thrift store. It's in, in, in, in terms of beauty. It's realizing that flawless skin is achievable by a lifestyle and not a product in and of itself. That it is a lifestyle of nutrition and rest and exercise and being in nature and the quality of our thoughts and making work life balance.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:41:47 Well, your skin is amazing. So you're living that example. It does make a difference. Yeah, it shows. So any, anything else that you'd like to say or any, any, any last parting words that you would like to maybe say or something maybe I didn't ask or that we missed?
Rhoda Johnson: 01:42:08 Oh, thank you. I am honored to be community servant in this community. Passionate about encouraging people to think differently, how they see themselves. And so I'd love to stay connected. I constantly share beautiful social media post. I also write an article monthly or every couple months for entrepreneurial platform magazine. And so I'd like to be able to continue to add value to your community. So I hope that people will want to stay connected so that I have an opportunity to do that.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:42:48 And with that, my next question is if people want to support you or connect with you, where can they find you on the interwebs?
Rhoda Johnson: 01:42:57 I would say go to my website and sign up for the newsletter. That way they're connected to me in a very personal way. They're also welcome to join me on Facebook Rhoda design group. I'm also there I'm going to be releasing a lot of great YouTube videos of content. So they're welcome to join my YouTube channel as well. Wrote a design group there. I just want to be able to fulfill my purpose in the best way possible. I invite all comments and questions so that I can become a better person of myself as I do this work.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:43:38 Nice. And that's wrote a design group.com is your site [inaudible] nice. Well, Rhoda, Oh my gosh, you're so amazing. I'm so glad that I've met you and that you're in life and I'm so honored that you came on the show and have shared your insights and your stories and just all the work that you're doing in the world. Thank you for what you do and the love and light that you put out there.
Rhoda Johnson: 01:44:03 Thank you, Gabe. I'm a reflection of you.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:44:08 Well, that's it for this episode. If this is your first time listening, thank you so much for being here. I really hope you enjoyed the show. The Artful Entrepreneur podcast comes out bi-weekly and is available every other Thursday for your enjoyment and all links and show notes for this episode can be found at the artful dot co if you haven't yet, please subscribe to the show and leave a rating or review on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you'd like to be a guest or know someone that would be a great fit, please go to theartful.co/guest and thanks again for listening. Until next time.