023: Lauren Simms - Igniting a Healthy Rebellion with passion and purpose
Lauren Simms is an industry leader in health and wellness, a commander in personal development, a nationally recognized speaker and trainer, and the author of “Why Can’t Is A Four-Letter Word” and “Get Off The Curb: A Healthy Rebellion From Fight or Flight to Activated Achiever”. Lauren’s greatest passion is helping people break through physical, financial, emotional, and time barriers in order to live their fullest life possible.
She has undergraduate degrees in both psychology and sociology, dual master’s degrees, over 15 years of experience in both her coaching and clinical practices, and has mentored and advises a variety of professionals, including top executives, other entrepreneurs, and passionate individuals who want to make an impact or leave a legacy for others.
In this episode we talk about:
the moment that triggered Lauren’s desire to change her life from running in the rat race with 80+ hours a week to a life filled with passion and purpose
how she helps people break through the “stories” in their mind to create a new story
what people can do when they begin to fall back into old habits
goal setting and how to start good attainable habits so you can hit your goals
how your calendar can be a direct indicator on your bank account and how you can use that as a method for accountability
“Why "Can't" Is A Four-Letter Word: Creating Healthy Rebellion against Roadblocks and Glass Ceilings of Potential”
“Get Off The Curb: A Healthy Rebellion from Fight or Flight to Activated Achiever” https://amzn.to/2GzlxvF
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Lauren Simms: 00:00:00 There's a line that I always say which is like choose your heart. You know? So when I think about my fitness journey, you know, being 50 pounds was overweight. I'm only like five five, five, five, six and I was pushing like, you know, like I was a, I was a big girl in college and that was hard. You know, traveling was hard, getting dressed was hard, shopping sucks, you know, like not getting a date or any of those things like that was hard. But still with body pump and so as body combat, when I was really out of shape, you know, a 60 minute workout, know seven minutes of nonstop squats in that fast. It was hard, but it was like, which did I care more about? You know, what was these choices getting me closer to or further away from where I wanted to be an and I ask people that all the time.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:00:46 Welcome to The Vitalic Project podcast where you'll learn how to find your own voice in a world filled with noise. I'm Gabe Ratliff. I'll be your host as I sit down with fellow artists, creators and entrepreneurs to learn more about their work and how they serve others so that you can tap into your creative purpose and live a life that's drawn, not traced. All right, I'm stoked. Let's get to it.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:01:15 Hey guys, thanks so much for joining me on this episode of... Wait for it. Check it. I've got some really exciting news. So recently I teamed up with Heather Crank, owner of Crahmanti and art and design collective based out of Bend, Oregon, and also a guest on the show. She's episode 006 if you'd like to learn more about her. And we've been working on a branding package for my newest business that focuses on supporting impact driven creative entrepreneurs with marketing themselves and their businesses through one of my passions, podcasting. And that business is called, The Artful Entrepreneur. So I launched this show, The Vitalic Project almost a year ago on September 13th, 2018 with so many amazing guests on the show like Shawn King from the award winning band Devotchka to Ryan Koral, owner of Tell Studios and host of the Studio Sherpas podcast and listen, I have to say it's been a year I'll never forget.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:02:14 I've learned so much over the past year and it's almost a year and a half since I began developing the show and this journey that is just getting started, which leads me to the exciting news. I've also been working with a web designer named Ekstasy Karakitsos who is living her dream by supporting her clients from the mountains of Greece. We've been working on rebranding my entire website to reflect the greater mission of my business that has developed over my year of podcasting and supporting fellow creative entrepreneurs. So I've decided to also rebrand this show and roll it into The Artful Entrepreneur brand. The new website is launching on August 15th, 2019 and will be accompanied by a new episode of the show with none other than Jung Park, who is a strategist, professor and speaker who taught a three-day symposium on personal branding at Denver Startup Week in 2016 that I attended and he was an integral part in my journey as I transitioned from the corporate world into entrepreneurship.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:03:15 So it's fitting that he's the guest on the show as I continue down this path that I've been on over the last three years and as I'm at this shift in the brand that I am pushing out there to the world and rolling everything under The Artful Entrepreneur brand felt so right and speaks not only to who I want to serve, but to who I am. I'm already offering virtual group coaching programs for creative entrepreneurs wanting to develop their own podcasts and I'm currently developing an online course for people that want to go at their own pace. I'm so stoked for all the great stuff on the horizon for me in the business, but most of all for all of you artful entrepreneurs out there and let me tell you, today's episode is a doozy. I've got a great one for you on today's episode, Lauren Simms.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:04:06 Lauren is an industry leader in health and wellness, a commander in personal development, a nationally recognized speaker and trainer, and the author of why can't is a four letter word and get off the curb, a healthy rebellion from fight to flight to activate it. Achiever Lauren's greatest passion is helping people break through the physical, financial, emotional, and time barriers in order to live their fullest life possible. She has undergraduate degrees in both psychology and sociology, dual master's degrees, over 15 years of experience in both her coaching and clinical practices and has mentored and advises a variety of professionals, including top executives, other entrepreneurs, and passionate individuals who want to make an impact or leave a legacy for others. On this episode we talk about the moment that triggered Lauren's desire to change her life from running in the rat race with 80 plus hours a week to a life filled with passion and purpose, which I am very familiar with, how she helps people break through the stories in their mind to create a new story, what people can do when they begin to fall back into old habits, goal setting and how to start good attainable habits so you can hit your goals, how your calendar can be a direct indicator on your bank account and how you can use that as a method for accountability.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:05:21 I really enjoyed having Lauren on the show. It was such a lovely conversation and we covered things from health and fitness to entrepreneurship and everything in between. Habits, goals, all these great things. So I hope you enjoy this conversation with Lauren Simms.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:05:48 Hi Lauren, thanks so much for being on the show today. I'm so excited to have you here.
Lauren Simms: 00:05:53 Thank you. I'm excited to be here.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:05:55 So there's so many things to talk about with you. Ah, like I said before we started to record, I saw so many similarities in your story that I was just kind of chuckling about like, oh my gosh, I so know that story. And I was wondering where, where did your journey with, before we kind of dive deeper into how you got here, I was curious, where did your journey with health and wellness begin?
Lauren Simms: 00:06:18 My goodness. So this is going to take me quite a way back and if I go all the way all the way back, it was really just watching my family because I grew up in a really fit family. Um, my mom worked out until she was nine months pregnant with all three of her kids. My Dad wasn't like all, I'm out collegiate athlete when you played um, sports and it was like a captain in high school, but in college played football. He wrestled, he did track. So I grew up just around people. My sister's work bit, we all, and I had played sports. So I think part of it is like in my jeans, I'm part of it. It's just in a way of life. If I look back, you know, and I wanted as a little kid like, mom, can we go to dairy queen?
Lauren Simms: 00:07:02 Like I had to ride my bike and she didn't say like, you need to burn calories if I, you know, but she didn't just take me or if I wanted to make cookies, it was like, well, everything's by scratch and you need to clean everything up and x, Y, Z, you know, 30 minutes of hopscotch or tetherball or something beforehand. So it was kind of ingrained in knee, but more, um, more truly aware instead of just being shown or as a way of life where it really landed on me. Well, as an early college, and it's actually because I became very overweight, so I had always been fit, kind of always been active and in high school, made a ton of poor decisions and was not active and my extra curricular activities for, not with athletics in any way, shape or form. Um, I was smoking cigarettes along the path of a lot of other decisions.
Lauren Simms: 00:07:51 And my freshman year in college, I was, you know, 1718 and I was very sluggish, very exhausted, you know, just very unhealthy. And I can remember like not being able to walk up a flight of stairs, you know, like I live in Colorado and we have altitude, but I should not have been restless like a 50 year old woman, you know, who's like had five kids and really be conditioned or something at 18 years old trying to walk to my classes. And it wasn't that, that point that I decided I was going to quit smoking. I'm like, I don't want to live this way. I'm way too young. And even though I quit smoking successfully, I then gained 50 pounds because I replaced cigarettes with candy and gum and soda drinks, all kinds of other terrible choices. So then I was not only still out of breath, but now I was carrying all this excess weight and they talk about people college game like the Freshman 15 and I literally had gained like the "freshman fifteen".
Lauren Simms: 00:08:47 I was for the first time ever like nearing a plus size. It happened so fast. And I remember like my eyes out to my best friend and she took me, so the Colorado state rec center, um, at our University of Colorado State University breast center and tried to show me like a circuit equipment kind of routine and the elliptical. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to punch my face out. Like I'm out of shape, I'm deconditioned and this is the most boring thing I've ever done. You know, I was like on the elliptical left and right. I'm like, am I done yet? And my done yet. And therefore I fell in love with group fitness. I remember thinking there's gotta be another way. And I was 13 for different programs and fitness programs and I was introduced to group fitness and I fell in love if you're familiar with them, the Les Mills Body Combat Body Pump classes. And not only was I getting in shape, but it was fun. It was a stress reliever. It became community. And that's truly, and this would've been in 2000 so 19 years ago where my like heart and soul fell in love with this.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:09:49 Wow. I am familiar with Les Mills. I actually used to work with club industry and that expo and magazine. Yeah. I used to be a photographer and a video producer for them and does web designer and um, yeah, I actually met some of those folks. Um, they, cause they were always a big sponsor, you know, and uh, I had the same, it's so interesting you brought that up cause I had a very similar trajectory. I mean, you know, put on the freshman 15, I don't, it wasn't 15 for me either. I don't remember what it was, but I remember it was not 15. I, so for me, if I go back, I did team sports, I did, you know, baseball, basketball and soccer and or football as we like to call it in this house. And I realized I wasn't a big team sport person, but I love being outside.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:10:41 I loved skating, wakeboarding, backpacking, kayaking. I was a raft guide, like all this stuff. So I, you know, I really got connected into the outdoors stuff. Um, but I had a similar thing where I realized, you know, those are a little more difficult to do daily. Right. And to have that like routine to do stuff like that. And cause you know, even here in Colorado it's a little bit of a process to go hike unless you happen to live, you know right on the foothills and you've got a trail right there and which I don't, I'm in Denver and I had the same thing where I found group fitness and I fell in love cause I get bored easy. And you know, it's hard to put together a weekly plan and keep on top of, you know, tracking everything and continuing to work for different areas.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:11:33 And that's one of the things I fell in love with with group. I actually go to Orangetheory and I love it because they're pumping music, good high energy, you've got that little bit of competition, you've got a heart rate monitor so you can track where you're at physically. They're just telling you what to do and they mix it up every single day. And I just love it. It totally hits cause I was trying to do it all myself again. I tried it again last year. I was like, no, no, we did the rec center and I was trying to do it and I was just like, I can't, it's really hard for me to keep on top of that and run a business and you know, all the other things that we have to do as entrepreneurs. So yeah, I like them telling me do this. I'm like, you bet and I'll just do it as hard as I need to.
Lauren Simms: 00:12:18 That competition piece is so huge. I mean, I'm not competitive that we were Ronnie and side by side that I'm like, I'm on a beat game. Yeah. Additives that I'm like, oh my gosh, if he's going that fast, like what's wrong with you Lauren? You should, you're not pushing hard enough that it motivates me. Yeah. The accountability, you know, like I have the Peloton here now and sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm going to set my alarm and I'm going to go at six and that doesn't always happen and I work out, but life happens and distractions. But if I tell you I'm going to be at orange theory, I'm not going to bail on you. You know, like if we plan, I'm going to meet gay on Wednesday morning at 6:00 AM I'm going to be there. And that, there's so many reasons why I love group fitness or those, you know, boutique gyms.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:13:00 Yeah. You know, the other thing I love too, speaking to what you were saying about the competition, I agree. Same thing. I love that it's more of a, a positive thing. You know, it's like, like when when certain people get out of the walk and they'll get into base, and for those of you that don't know, at orange theory, does a base pace and then a push pace and then all out. And it's awesome because some people will just start it or I'll, or I'll be like, Nah, I'm going to go for it. I'm gonna go ahead and start. And you just see that people are like, yeah, yeah, I'm going to go ahead too. You know? And it's not this like, I don't feel this vibe of like, oh, they're so awesome. You know, they're just gonna show me up. It's not like that.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:13:38 It's like, oh, you know, and there's a lot of high fives and and you know, punching it out and all this stuff, not punching it out, like fighting, punching it out, like not hitting hands, hitting the, hitting the knuckles. Yeah. I love that type of workout because when you're working out, right, it's such an intense internal thing. You have your own voice in your head that you're competing against. Right. We, and we're so hard on ourselves and one of the things I love that they reiterate is that we always have way more percent that our body can do than we think. And that's one of the things that I love about how you're monitoring there because you can see, oh, I'm here with my heart rate and I'm doing this and this is how I feel in this state. And you can see where other people are in.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:14:27 Just like you said, you know, you see people and you're like, oh, well I'm going to, I'm going to go for it too. I do the same thing. I'll see. You know, just yesterday, one of the guys down for me, he was going 12 and that's as fast as you can go on the treadmill. And I was, I took a little break because my wife and I got sick and then we had a family reunion and I got to swim at the lake. But I was feeling like you said deconditioned a little bit cause it had been several weeks because of being sick and then the reunion I was like, I'm going to go for it. But so I went to 10 but I was like, oh man, I can't do, can't do 12 it was like day and they were hurting. But anyways, so, so you know, I just love that kind of a, it's that really positive type of competition and it doesn't feel like this meathead fitness gym where people are just, you know, broken out in front of the mirror.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:15:18 It's not like that. It's like people are really in this like family type environment and uh, I love that. And it's also that benefit, right, of like you're not by yourself. I'm kind of segwaying as forward because this, one of the things I love about how you promote health and wellness, nutrition, all the things that you've devoted so many years of your life to. And there's so many of us out there that need it because we're doing it alone. And so that's, I'm so excited to hear that you're in a group x too. Cause I just, I love it.
Lauren Simms: 00:15:51 One of the things you were just saying about the, the messages that the instructors give or that you receive and you know, my journey started because of aesthetics and just like feeling crappy, like putting on my shoes was terrible and walking up a flight of stairs was terrible, but the love was so much more than that. But the motivation, those messages are applicable all day long. You know, when people start through day or end their day with adrenaline, what that does to your mood, um, your stress and I mean there's so much science behind that, but increasing your serotonin and your dopamine, but thinking about an instructor that's giving some type of metaphor of whatever the hill is that you're climbing. But that perseverance and that grit and that hard work that you're teaching your body, that you handle it, that you're able to persevere, that you're able to do are things. Or when you've had stressed to be able to go in there, maybe you do punch it out and kick-boxing class or something. Right. But what are your other options? And in that, there's so much to it of what that does for people. That, and I was like, if I could just get paid to recruit people to classes all day long, you know, I'm always like come here, come here, let's do this, let's do that. And they're like, let's wait too much. But it's totally addictive in a great way.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:17:01 It totally it. Yeah. And, and I, I, I'm the same. I share it with people constantly cause I'm like, it's hard. This is not, I mean you don't wake up cause it's so easy to just be like, I don't feel like it today. And it's so easy to not book the class or to just not go. And that's one of the things I like about the accountability with the app is that you, you plugged that thing in and you better go cause those.
Lauren Simms: 00:17:26 That's awesome though. Once it's a way of life, like you crave it. If you do miss, I mean I take more than one single rest day, my body is like ready to move,
Gabe Ratliff: 00:17:34 right? Yeah. You're like, what's up? What's up, what's up, what's up? It's such a great habit to get into because it really, especially you, you and I were talking before we started rolling. We both worked at home and it's really easy in this type of entrepreneurial lifestyle to just keep cranking, you know, and, and it's just as easy as when you're in a job and you're taking quick lunches or like working through lunch and all that kind of a thing and it's so great to have that break in your day. I love it because you're, you're getting people and you're getting, like you said, endorphins, you're getting all of this wonderful positivity for your body and your mind to then you get the break and everything. You get to kind of push out all the frustrations you might have with something, whatever that might be.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:18:22 And then you get to come back and have a fresh brain to be like, oh, okay, cool. Let's tackle this thing. You know? So I was wondering if you could take us back to 2013 when you're working 80 plus hours a week. And I mean, you're cranking all, I mean you, you had a laundry list of things that you're doing around nutrition and health and wellness, even, uh, even bartending and serving. I mean, you were cranking and I'm very familiar with this type of lifestyle. And then you had an epiphany and I'm curious like what was life back like? What was life like back then and where were you at with all that?
Lauren Simms: 00:19:06 That's such a good question. And, um, I heard of the quote, um, years back from my good friend and Todd citizens. And I don't think he's the one that coined it but he repeated it. But that's where I remember saying it to me, like the number one thing that keeps from a great life is a good life. And that's kind of what I would say. I was like, it was average to me it was mediocre. I don't think I was fulfilled. I wasn't like waking up with just passion to go out and do what I loved and I surely wasn't going to bed like very accomplished, very successful. I was going to bed slightly exhausted and burnout, but I didn't really know what else was out there and I have but always been someone of gratitude. So even though I was working all these jobs and I can paint the picture of what I did was like I was all the ways thankful I had all those jobs and I was grateful that I was doing those jobs compared to other jobs that may have seen more difficult or more daunting or have less of a pay.
Lauren Simms: 00:20:04 But simply put, I got myself in a buttload of debt. Most of it was student loans and the other part of it was poor credit card decisions while I was in college, but I got two bachelors and two masters in a very short time period and, and the distance to all of that debt that I accumulated pretty quickly, the jobs that I chose were not very high pain. So I was opening up my practice as a clinical nutritionist, um, which was called fuel for life. And I did a lot of work in that practice with functional medicine, um, holistic health, anything from thyroid and blood sugar and autoimmune and infertility, digestive health issues. I was contracted in a functional medicine doctor's office while I was still building my practice because as anyone who's ever built the business, you don't open your doors and have a line of patients or clients out the door.
Lauren Simms: 00:20:56 And while I was trying to build my client base, I was personal training. I was teaching group fitness classes, I was running bootcamp classes, I was bartending and I was waiting tables. I was catering basically anything except having an Etsy business I was doing just to make ends meet. And let's really literally go from five in the morning until midnight, seven days a week. So, and I was all over the place and I would drive to 24 hour fitness and teach a spin class or teach a body pump class change like clothes. I would go to Denver University. I was a personal trainer at the Richie Center. I see a couple clients there. I would change clothes again, go to my office, feel for life, see a client or two change clothes to go to the doctor's office. You know, see three or four patients for him, change clothes. Go to YaYa's, which was a Greek restaurant here in Denver that I bar tended to wait tables at and then at midnight to go home just to fall asleep to get up for in three or four hours to do it all over again and I did it on weekends.
Lauren Simms: 00:21:57 I did it on holidays and the epiphany was, okay, you can do this in your 20s you can't do this in your thirties you surely aren't going to do this in your forties in number one my body would not have allowed me to teach 15 to 20 hours of fitness like it did in my twenties there's absolutely no way, and the other was I didn't really want to, even though I love people and I loved helping people, I wanted a day off. I didn't want to lose money because I didn't show up to work one day. If I went on vacation, I didn't want to worry about, I lost many of the entire week. It wasn't clocking in and clocking out because I took a week off that most people get paid because I chose to be an entrepreneur and so there was definitely just some rock bottom wall. Kinky moments of this is not sustainable. Yeah,
Gabe Ratliff: 00:22:43 good grief. Are you guys hearing that? Are you hearing that Kudos? I mean, I know
Gabe Ratliff: 00:22:53 to have that work ethic and to to to just go for it like that. I mean that's just awesome to have that much passion for what you're doing and how you want to serve others. You know? I mean to even be at the detriment of your own day and weak. I'm just curious, what was your health like during that? Like what was your, how were you able to maintain, because you know, you're, I mean, you're being healthy by you know, training and doing all this fitness-related work, right, and nutritional work. How was, when, when you are not, when you, you know, having that kind of a lifestyle being just like going at it. How are you, because I've even had this conversation with the trainers at orange theory about how are you guys consuming lunch when you have 15 minute breaks between your, your,
Lauren Simms: 00:23:46 your sessions and they've even say anything. I'm slamming a salad in between, you know, where are you able to keep that, your diet and health up amidst that kind of a schedule or what was that like? Also crazy, you know, knock on wood, I've been blessed with a pretty good immune system, so it's shocking to look back. And not that I wasn't sick more often. I was unhealthy in other ways. So I ended up in total adrenal burnout and adrenal failure, um, without being surprised because I was living in on cortisol and adrenaline, not really knowing, but you can only run on three or four hours of sleep for so long. I did it for, for years in years and that's all my body knew. I mean the amount of caffeine that I drank just to get me through the day. And it wasn't like a red bowl or rock star person, but I literally joke now when I'm like choking people that I drink coffee to shower.
Lauren Simms: 00:24:43 So I had an alarm on my coffee pot that coffee was ready and I would like literally make a cup of coffee just to start the shower and the getting ready process. Most people are showered and ready and they at least have coffee on their commute to work. But then I have more on my way to work. Then I had more between that next job, you know, always some type of ice coffee or more, um, natural energy drinks. My green tea, Jen seeing whatever I can find type beverage before I went into the bar. But there was so much caffeine in my body just to keep me a flow. So the ramifications of that or started to take a toll because I was in health and wellness and beauty cause I was in fitness. I wasn't the person that was going to go from coaching people on what to do, eat and then swing through a drive through.
Lauren Simms: 00:25:27 I mean that's just not in my repertoire and I don't really choose to ever eat food like that. But the very, very small windows of free time I had, I spent prepping food. So like an a couple hours on a Sunday between the bracket shift and going back at night, closed down the restaurant. I would prep chicken and broccoli and soup potatoes and brown rice or whatever for the whole week and freeze half of it, you know, keep the rest out. And I ran around with my six pack bag of food, eat in the car between jobs and it was terrible. You know, who wants the day for cold chicken and Mushy asparagus? Like it was terrible. And you know, if I knew about the meal replacement shakes that I do now or some of the better protein bars out there, I would have had other options. But mostly I think the way that it affected me was my psyche and my mental health.
Lauren Simms: 00:26:17 I mean, I just had so much anxiety all the time, partially around finances. If I was late or I screwed up, I mean when your day is different every single day I'm like, oh my gosh, what if I screwed up what to do and I'm supposed to be at or where the plan is or moving things around. It was really tough, but because there was no joy, I was single and I had a virtually dead social life because I was working so much. I mean, my social life literally, and I t I joke about this in my book, but it was, you know, very factual Christmas Eve was inviting my family into the restaurant. It was like one working a macaroni grow you guys, I can make a reservation for the family. That would be the only way I could see them or I would message girlfriends. I'm like, come in for happy hour, I'm working the bar.
Lauren Simms: 00:27:01 Can I talk with you guys? That was the time I had to see people and I remember just how people, how exhausted it was. I was like, how are you, I'm so tired. I mean looking back and of course I was and like really wanting to clear out space. Like how would I've ever found a relationship, how was I going to maintain friendships and everybody deserves a day off. I mean I don't care how bad you want to work and I still work a lot and I do love to work and I do want to have a life for my family, but that's not all what life is about. And part of in 2013 besides, I was getting, you know, now into my thirties and not just my twenties my dad was, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's and he is, he has a legacy in his industry.
Lauren Simms: 00:27:41 He was in the scrap metal and recycling industry. You won a lifetime achievement award for international company. He was with for a long time. I can see where I get some of my drive and work hustle for. Okay. Think he was 65 and by the time he retired he was too sick to do his bucket list items and my sister and I saw that and we're like, we don't want it to be in that same situation. I mean like tomorrow's not promised and moving forward today and it was like what can we create? What can we do differently that we're not going to work this 40 hour, 50 hour, 80 hour, whatever work week to be 60 to enjoy it. I mean who knows what we're going to look like or feel like then that was a huge propelling like part of my why of like figuring out a different way or things or not. Yeah.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:28:24 Wow. I was just about to ask you when, when you were rapping, what that moment was that triggered, so that makes absolute sense to be in that space. I similarly had an experience that hit me like that where I had a friend who we lost early. We had just celebrated his 40th birthday a couple of years ago. He had a tragic accident about two weeks later and passed away as I was in this process of attempting this new life, you know, leaving corporate and captaining my own ship and all of that. That was what kind of just put the stamp on it for me because losing him as such a dear friend who was just all about travel and like he, he, he would burn the candle at both ends to meet you. Even if he had to work like a full double shift day, he would still show up to meet you at some event or you know, he would go out of his way. He would drive hours to like show up for something and surprise people and he would write written notes and you know, do all these like amazing things. Like he would take the time to really great
Gabe Ratliff: 00:29:42 stuff is just a really great friend. That was one of the same kinds of things for me of just recognizing that you never know. You know, and he had just turned 40 and you know, it was just so shocking and surprising. It just reiterated exactly what you're talking about, right? You just don't know where you're going to be. You don't know if you're going to even make it to be able to retire and travel. How are you going to physically be able to, my grandmother had Parkinson's, so I'm also familiar with that disease and what that can do to a family and especially I'm, you know, I'm so sorry a that your father has that and I understand how that can really affect you and I love that you've taken it and turned it into this positive thing in your, you now sharing this story with people and using it in a positive way for people to really make a change in their life, you know, and make a shift where they can attain what, I love that about your book about can't being a four letter word because it is so many of us, just like we were talking about with group x, you know, like it's, it's tough to be on top of these things, you know, and you've got the Instagram world where everybody's posting their their best days, you know, and it's like, it's really difficult.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:30:59 You get weighed down by that, right? Like just seeing all this awesomeness. That's why I love having these conversations and hearing these stories about what you went through in that time period that you finally, it had that wake up moment. Right. And just were like, I can't keep doing this because you can't. There's no sustainability to that. And now it's part of your story and it's part of your mission. And I just, I love that. So what happened when that, when, when you know, you, you start recognizing this, this moment, you know, where you're like no more rat race, what happened? What did you do?
Lauren Simms: 00:31:38 Yeah, that's a good question. And I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It seems like, um, that lost his also been pivotal for you and just the lesson and the way you choose to live your life. And I hope anybody listening to this really just understands that like, we're not bringing up sadness, you know, for you to feel sad, but just truly to have that gratitude for when you do have those relations with people. You know, just the time that we're all here cause no one, no, um, what's coming next or when things are going to happen. And Jay Shetty is someone I listened to, gave, I don't know if you've ever listened to him, but he talks so much about just that present relationship with people and just what you're doing on a day to day basis. And I referenced some of his, um, morals are some of his teachings in my second book.
Lauren Simms: 00:32:22 Get off the curve and exactly what you're talking about. You know, especially with like our significant others. It's so easy to get in like a TIF or get into something that's like, you know, just ruffles your feathers in the morning. But it's like, what if that was the last time you saw them? You know, like Colorado has so many people come in here and car accidents are skyrocketing compared to what they used to be like, what if that was the last time? And just appreciating that, you know, and appreciating these people are, and I mean not to be fake or super Vishal, like not to sweat the small stuff so much. Um, it's just, I think an important lesson for everybody. So what happened? I, um, you know, everybody I think has different beliefs around the law of attraction or God or their or the universe working for them.
Lauren Simms: 00:33:08 And however you want to interpret that, that's not for me to put my belief on you, but a mindset that I come from. I don't believe in coincidences. I believe everything happens for a reason. And I also believe that sometimes like all of the hard work or all of the seeds you're planting, they blossom when they're meant to and when you least expect and not on your time, you know, I mean, think about someone who's in sales and they're like, I have cold call the a hundred people, you know, everyday for a month and I'm not making money. Okay. So if we think about Wilson as movie, the pursuit to happiness, it took a lot longer than 30 days. But as you keep going and keep going and keep going, the right opportunities start to show up. And in 2013 mean if you think about the hours and the grit and the tears and the time and the sweat and everything that had exhausted or a decade into these various jobs was really setting me up for what was coming and the skills that I was learning and the relationships I was building and the social media that I was gaining.
Lauren Simms: 00:34:08 You know, that following or whatnot. It's not that it just happened overnight, but between my total burnout of I, I wasn't loving going to work anymore. I was like, oh, I'd say hey, you know, like wanted a cancellation. That wasn't a good feeling. And my dad being diagnosed and hitting 30 and saying, I'm not married, I'm not in a relationship. I don't have kids, I don't have a CV and I'm carrying all this debt. And there was some big, big PR propellants of what I wanted to do differently. I was introduced. It's a network marketing and it's interesting because I said no, did that profession for many, many, many years. So gay people would bring me products as their nutritionist and like, Hey, what do you think about this? I'm like, where did you get that? Like I knew it wasn't a nutraceutical. I know it wasn't something from whole foods or bodybuilding.com and they would say, well, like my son's teacher gave it to me.
Lauren Simms: 00:34:58 I'm like, unless teachers giving you protein shakes, like I didn't even understand it. Um, I was totally, I'm familiar with the direct salary, um, business model and I was learning about this because I was so networked and I've always, you know, just known a ton of people and been very extroverted. I was invited to all of these parties virtually in person and it was like come to my party and when I can squeeze them in, I went to them and I sat through nice parties, you know, Tupperware parties and candle parties and jewelry parties and sex, the way party, like all of them. And I never walked out of there and I was like, I'm going to call all of my friends and have them buy this. Okay, wow. Like you just, it didn't land on me and I supported the hustle, like wish them the best lock bag.
Lauren Simms: 00:35:43 I didn't need the Mascara. I didn't need. Thank you, but no thank you. In 2013 I received a call. I wasn't invited to a party and I didn't get a text message, but a woman reached out to me from Spokane, Washington and basically said, I have something that I think is going to change your life. And she edified who I was and kind of she saw me doing and I tell people she didn't teach me a compensation plan and she didn't, you know, teach me about the shakes, but you really cast a vision for my life. And she asked me questions along the lines of like, if you don't do anything brightly, what is your life going to look like in your thirties and forties if you keep doing exactly what you're doing? You know, she asked me questions about how would I go on maternity leave right now with the way I had no savings and all this debt and I was exchanging time for money.
Lauren Simms: 00:36:31 She asked me what it would be like to have a team of people that were likeminded and how many more people we could help and how much further like my reach could go of the people I can impact physically and financially and with their personal growth. And of course I'm like, yes, yes, yes, like all of this sounds amazing. And I was like, what do I have to do? And I was like, oh my gosh, I am officially getting into one of those things. Like I remember it was like lectures. I was running into it. I was like slamming the door. Like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I've worked so hard to be this branded clinical nutritionist and now I'm going to sell the same shakes my hairdresser could shell like that's what I was kind of thinking. And not to belittle the industry, but I was really naive about it.
Lauren Simms: 00:37:13 But it's at the same point. Even though I had stigma and I had skepticism and I was totally uneducated about the profession, I had a burning desire to do something differently. And so I learned about the company number one. If I couldn't stand behind the products, if I wasn't going to take them myself, there is no way I could ever ever recommend them to somebody else. I wanted to know about the core values and the mission and the vision of the company cause even though I wasn't an employee to them, this is my brand, this is my reputation now and if I was going to align myself with that, was it something that I was congruent with? I wanted to learn the compensation plan. I'd seen too many people get burned by, you know, quote Unquote pyramid schemes or get quick rich programs out there and I wanted to know it wasn't equal opportunity.
Lauren Simms: 00:37:58 I wanted to know that my team to be as successful, if not more than me, are really did my homework on it and long story short or long story long as you said earlier, the right companies that are doing it the right way. It's an amazing, amazing, amazing business model. Unfortunately, there's a lot of companies out there that don't have great compensation plans and only a very small percentage gets paid. There's a lot of companies out there that have terrible products and people are not there for the products and it's not going to last. But just like there's greatness house therapists and bad massage therapists, there's great spin instructors and there's terrible spin instructors and there's, you know, airlines and not so great airlines that's going to be with anything. And I was fortunate to find something that really then was able to catapult my life to a whole nother level and not only because of the financial means, um, that opened up more doors in the platform that I wanted because I've always had this drive and this hunger to do more.
Lauren Simms: 00:38:55 But really with the way I can help people. And if you think about as a nutritionist, I was reaching people by a 10 by 10 mile radius, you know, if they were one or two zip codes away, they weren't going to drive me. I, I get that. And today me and I'm coaching people on helping people from Australia and New Zealand, Canada, Mexico, Spain, all over. And I still get to do what I love, which has helped people feel their best or sleep better or workout harder and helping people financially. Because looking back and you asked me about this, what was my health like, you don't have your health if you don't have your finances and being able to help some moms not drive for Lyft or Uber 10 or 15 hours a week and make that same or more incumbent be home with their kids.
Lauren Simms: 00:39:39 Like that excites me. When you're asking before like what did life feel like before now like I want to wake up because I know that there's people that are looking for this. I can't shut down at night and not because I need the income, but because I'm thinking about who's the next family that just got a health scare and wants to change their health or what's the next family that wants to put their kids through private school and they don't know how, you know they're going to fund that and those are the things you can tell. Like that just gave me like so excited that I feel like I was really truly set up to do what I'm doing.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:40:11 Get it.
Lauren Simms: 00:40:12 Wow.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:40:13 Get it girl. I love that. I love it. I love it. I love seeing that passion and purpose. That's why you're here. Thank you. Hope you guys are listening. Yeah, there'll be websites later and where she is online. So pay attention. So I want to get a little into, I'm so hyped up now, I would have like all these questions but I wanted to start diving a little bit into like how you work with people, you know, like how do you help people breakthrough the stories in their mind that and you know, create new stories. Cause that's one of the things I'm really curious to see like now how we kind of pull this into the work that you're doing and how you're, you're showing up for people, you know, what, what is that like, how do you kind of break through those barriers for people? Like what is, what is your emo around that?
Lauren Simms: 00:41:05 That is such a great question. And I think it depends in different areas. You know, with a physical transformation or a financial transformation or even just overall emotional, they might be somewhat different. But when I think about people's physical transformations, when people are working out or they think they're eating clean, there's usually a level of emotional weight that they're carrying. You know, something that's weighing them down because unhappiness or guilt or shame or something that you have to work through, you have to do the deep work or like people can't make the habits, um, giving them those skills. And some of that that is back to accountability or journaling or tracking. But I think when I think about people getting to work or that emotional transformation that is trying to understand number one, who are they a level of self acceptance, a level of, if I'm understanding that they are not going to be perfect, they don't have to be perfect.
Lauren Simms: 00:42:06 And really their greatness is when they can kind of let go of that. And that parallels then with a financial limitation that we usually all have our own stories around money. And we've heard people say things like, oh, they're filthy rich. Think there's a negative connotation into that. You know, people that have the wrong people with money are going to make the worst decisions. The right people with money are going to really be able to impact and make great decisions and contribute more. And it's not the amount of money, it's who has it and what they're doing with it. We have, you know, relationships that either our parents said things like money doesn't grow on trees or that's so expensive or you know, they're spenders were savers. And a lot of that is just truly kind of understanding yourself then. And you're so good about this game.
Lauren Simms: 00:42:52 Nope. Even before they're on your show. But there are why like what drives them. And there's a line that I always say, which is like, choose your heart, you know? So when I think about my fitness journey, you know, be in 50 pounds. I was overweight, I'm only like five, five, five, five, six. And I was pushing like, you know, like I was a, I was a big girl and college and that was hard. You know, traveling was hard, getting dressed was hard, shopping sucks, you know, like not getting a date or any of those things like that was hard, but still with body pump and so as body combat when I was really out of shape, you know, a 60 minute workout, seven minutes of nonstop spots in that fast. Was it hard? But it was like, which did I care more about, you know, what these choices getting me closer to or further away from where I wanted to.
Lauren Simms: 00:43:42 Yeah. I asked people that all the time, you know, and it's in my business and they're complaining about their debt. They're complaining about their bills, they're complaining they don't have the money to go on vacation. And I have been in all of those places. I have no problem holding the mirror up to someone's face and asking them the last three or five decisions that you made, did they get you closer to or further away from where you want to be? Do you want to pay off 20 grand in debt? Why did you buy something just because it was on sale if you didn't absolutely need it. Who cares if it's on sale. Don't buy things if you're carrying around debt. But people have to really see their actions. They have to see that day to day virtual behavior because they didn't get 20 grand or 10 grand or 25 grand in debt overnight.
Lauren Simms: 00:44:23 That did not happen. And so the same way that they'd got this helps in the mess, whatever they didn't know that got them there, they're going to have to learn to be able to unlearn those behaviors and to be able to do things differently. And I think sometimes it's just starting small. You know, if someone came to me today and said, I'm 60 pounds overweight, okay, well we're not going to do that in 30 days. But people expect that to happen. You know, they're like, I'm going to be on a Keto diet and I'm going to get skinny in a month. And I'm like, you didn't get that overweight in a month. You'd have to give yourself the same patience and grace and time to learn new habits and really make that transformation. And so I think when I'm coaching people, I want them to let go of, you know, these extreme expectations.
Lauren Simms: 00:45:05 I want them to be very real with themselves and want them to stop comparing themselves to everybody else. You know, I'm a firm believer in the full comparison is the thief of joy. You know, sometimes we're looking at people that are so successful and there's so much further down in their journey when people are in the beginning and I'm like, you're just starting like you have to let go of whoever that person is. You're not even on the same track right now. And so helping people lay out those steps, accepting who they are, letting go of improve imperfections are letting go of them. Okay. Allowing the imperfections to be okay for sure. Laying out a game plan with like realistic big time. And then truly, and this is the biggest one, is just believing in people. Sometimes people can't believe in themselves and they have to borrow your belief.
Lauren Simms: 00:45:50 And my mentor believed in me so much that I wouldn't be here without her. I mean, she just poured, her name is Janet yellow by the way. She poured lightened to me and she poured grace into me and she would just poured a vision that I saw it because she made it seems so realistic. And I remember one day when I started to believe it myself, but she did it for me first. And this the same way we do with kids, right? Like that kid doesn't think of a walk and it doesn't the first time. But when parents cheer it on and encourage it, good job, do a job, good job, good job. That kid believes and all of a sudden one day it walks right and then it runs. But someone had to help them along the way. And I think that if you're a coach, if you are a mentor, if you're a parent, if you're a big sister or good friend, whatever that is, we have a role as humans to help other people and to believe in them. And that sometimes is the hardest art. Cause people can have all the actions and steps and tools and guidelines and self help books out there. But they stay stuck because they don't believe the outcome's going to happen of whatever point of changed they're trying to make.
Gabe Ratliff: 00:46:53 Wow. That was a lot of awesome. Um, I'm processing all the awesome you just shared. Hopefully you are processing the awesome she just shared as well because that is so true. And thank you for that. Cause I that's one of the things you see a lot, you know like people have all these like download this free thing now and get this and top 10 things and here's all this stuff and which inevitably for a lot of people it's like access to an email address to then be able to like start talking to those people. Right? It's like the marketing method, the, the online marketing method and yeah, everybody talks about how like your email list is, is king and all this stuff. Right? And that's, it's so powerful what you just said because you, that really proves it's the proof is in the pudding. Right?
Gabe Ratliff: 00:47:39 And as they say, and that's really where that stands out for me. Hearing you talk is it goes beyond, and this is exactly how you were speaking about your mentor. You can, you can hear it in your voice, you can feel it. There's this pure belief in you that you are now sharing for others. You know? And like you said, like sometimes people need that belief that they can do it. And that's part of why this show exists is because I want to be another proponent for spreading what you're doing and for others that need that kind of belief or just just here that little statement that you might make around. No, I love that about comparison is the thief of joy. Wow. Like I'm just writing all these crazy notes over here, but I, you know, it's, it's hearing those little things like that or hearing stories like this or just hearing that belief in your voice is what all it takes for people that are open to it. You know? And I think that that's one of the things I've found with coaching. I've tried coaching people and I've had this talk, I've been to some workshops recently where we were talking about this exact thing where I remember when I first started coaching and I was feeling it out, I'm a giver and I want to just give and give and give. The problem is that not everybody wants to accept it. They're not ready for it. Right. And for me, I'm like trying to figure out how to deal with that, you know, like, and then I've started slowly realizing like it's just not their time. Like you can put out what you can put out, but it's, it's where they are. You have to show up for them where they are. It's been a tough lesson for me because I have that same passion you do. I don't even know if I have the same, if you're blowing my mind, you're just, I love it. I love that energy and I'm inspired by you hearing this. Like I'm, it's reiterating to me the belief even in me to believe in others, you know, to do my work. So I thank you. I love the fervor that you have. For what you do and what you speak to. That's, that's amazing. And thank you for bringing that today.
Lauren Simms: 00:49:48 Thank you. Thinking about, I mean, just examples, right? I mean that whoever person was, you know, I'm going to run the four minute mile and like it's possible you'll die. There's no way to run a four minute mile. And how many people have gone on to do that because one person believed that they could and then other people believe in them. When you think about anybody's coaches, I mean, can you imagine Michael Phelps's coach or saying to him to get him to go 100th of a second faster each time, but that encouragement and that just belief of possibility and you know, if we can imagine it, we can probably do it type mindset. And that's something that we have to do for ourselves. And I think for other people in a lot of that is starting with yourself. You know, and I, there's things that you can't pour from an empty cup.
Lauren Simms: 00:50:32 If anybody reads my book, get off the curb at the end of it. I talk about daily rituals and things that I do because I'm so afraid. I mean I am motivated by fear. I'm of great to fall back into old habits. You know, I'm afraid to well go back into old spending habits. I'm afraid to ever become out of shape and deconditioned again. I'm afraid the exchange time for money again, you know, like I tell people I'm not employable, but if I want to be able to stay on the path that I'm on, I am a firm believer that there is no there. And so the minute you stop striving for everything you do, what everything you don't want is going to show up. And the same way that we eat every day, we sleep everyday, we drink water every day, we text every day, whatever that looks like day to day things I think conditioning your mind in your body.
Lauren Simms: 00:51:20 Is that the forefront of that? And before I touch my phone in terms of reaching out to people or my business or checking email or God forbid, open up social media in every single day. You guys every single day. The very first thing I do is gratitude and a lot of times I write it out and not just I'm grateful to be on podcasts. Why? You know, like I am so grateful to be interviewed today because honor to share my story and you know, it's a joy that I can impact someone and my story can be used to inspire somebody else or whatever that looks like. I'm still grateful for it. Facebook. Why? Because I'm able to communicate with 5,000 people every single day and I have friends around the world because of this social media platform. I'm so grateful that my legs are working and that I am strong and healthy and I can go enjoy a wonderful run today going through that, but outside of the gratitude, and I always do my physical fitness in the morning because I am someone, I'll get too busy.
Lauren Simms: 00:52:16 It won't happen. But I also set intentions and part of that is like, I don't want to just go through the motions and I write it out. I write it out. Like today. My intention is to find someone who's hungry for an opportunity, was burning desire to be an entrepreneur that's self motivated, that self-disciplined, that's coachable and willing to do the tough things to earn. You know, the privilege and rewards on the other side, like I'm so clear about it today. My intention is to just serve as many people as I can to show up big and bold with a heart of service to be able to impact someone else's life. And when you're focused on things for anyone who has never heard the four focus laws, what you focused on, you find what you focused on grows what you focus on, you believe, and what you focus on.
Lauren Simms: 00:53:01 You become. If you're not focused on the right things, everything else is going to show up. And that's why you know the media today, the news, the PSTD, the junk in the radio, it's not what you want to be filling your brain with it in the subconsciously. You're making all kinds of decisions that are not serving you because of what you're reading and listening to in hearing. And we have to consciously make a decision and like really activate our reticular activating system. That's the part of your brain that says, focus on this, focus on this and did the thing that you want. And whether that's meditating or setting intentions on your physical body, on your romantic relationships, on your financial health, your business goals. That's to me is what's so important. Even more than doing the do every single day, making that decision and trained in your brain to make certain decisions and stay focused on certain things.
Lauren Simms: 00:53:52 And if anyone on hers never heard of your Ras, the reticular activating system, think about the last time you shopped for a car or the, you know, when you're thinking about looking for a car, you see it everywhere, right? So right now I have my eye on the Mercedes GLC, a DWG, and I feel like everybody in Colorado drives that car. I see everywhere right now. But I was telling a girlfriend about it and she's like, what car? I'm like, what are you talking about? Like there's one, there's one. She's like, I've never seen it because she's not focused on it. And when you, I've ever been around a bride whose planning her wedding d is so focused on it. She knows every single detail, every single bit of it, because it's that important. And when you can make the other areas in your life like that important and that detailed specific, and be so focused on them every single day, you can't be distracted by your distraction. That's what I think is such a game changer. And this is the work I do and helping people to get closer so what they want and not be so succumbs to, and they don't want it.
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Gabe Ratliff: 00:55:28 I have two questions to that. I was going to ask, you know, what can people do when they begin to fall back in old habits? But I'm also curious about what can people do to, I want to first ask, what can people do to start, right? Cause there's a, I mean, any of us, this can be myself included. I'm hearing what you're saying. I'm a lifelong learner. I'm all about personal development. That was one of the things that drew me to you to be on the show. And I'm all about hearing how different people handle this. Right? And so I just want to ask, you know, first off, like what, what can people do when they're in that place of, you know, outside of obviously connecting with you and having you help them, but you know, what can somebody to do just to get the spark, whatever it is, whether it's with finance or fitness or diet or whatever it is. Even if it's, you know, leaving their job and becoming an entrepreneur and taking a huge leap like that. It's all a big step. So how do you, how do you show up? Or how do you speak to people who want to show up in that way but are just, you know, in that Rut, whether they don't know how to start.
Lauren Simms: 00:56:36 And then was the second part of that is what happens when you,
Gabe Ratliff: 00:56:40 yeah. How do you, and how can people, because you were talking about how you can fall back in that, you just referenced that a minute ago about how you can fall back into old habits and they can start to feed, they feed themselves, right? And you can just, if you're not showing up for the things that, uh, how did you, you said you, you, you know, if you're not showing up for the things that are combating that old habit that the others can take over. So yeah, I just was curious like how can put somebody start and then what can they do if they start to fall back?
Lauren Simms: 00:57:10 Okay. So let's go with the first part of this and where do you start? And for anyone listening to this, give yourself permission to do two things. And one of them is to start small and the second is not to do it all at once. So by the time I was really changing my day to day life and my financial situation, like I already have that health and wellness part down, I have the physical body down from where it was. There might be some of you that have a great career and you're making a ton of money, you've got a great relationship but you say terrible things to yourself every day in the shower and while you're getting ready. So regardless of where you're at, I would encourage you to start small and try to fix one of them at a time. You know, New Year's resolutions, which is such a joke for you know, anybody that really has made progressive changes all have to do with money, relationships in health, and it's like 97% or whatnot.
Lauren Simms: 00:58:06 Totally fail within the first 30 days. And it's, in my opinion, because people set these audacious, outrageous, cool, awesome. And they set themselves up for failure because two weeks into it, they're so far from the output, it's never going to happen. And when you're making that decision, you know, I think if you were to close your eyes right now, if you're driving, please don't do it, do it later. But if you were to close your eyes, it asked yourself, if I continue doing exactly what I'm doing right now, every single day for the next five to 10 years, what would my life look like? What would your relationships look like? What would your health look like? What would your finances look like? What does your travel look like? Meaning get detailed about it and you usually, I believe people find the pain point in the area that they want to make the most change at that time.
Lauren Simms: 00:58:54 And I think start there, but as opposed to focusing on the pain, because a lot of those resolutions are kind of crazy. Audacious goals come from a place of pain. I want you to focus on the area of growth, like focus on the progress, focused on the resolution. And so let's say you're someone right now that has a terrible commute. You spend two hours a day driving to and from work, working in a cubicle or much, not much more than minimum wage and you don't like the people you're working with and you have I've 40 to 60 hours of your life every week in a place that's causing you misery. Maybe, maybe this is you right now. Okay, so as opposed to like, you know, I hate my job, I hate my job or you know, I don't know what to do. I hate my job.
Lauren Simms: 00:59:40 That type of mindset. You have to start to think about what would your ideal job look like? Where, how far are you willing to drive? Is a 30 minute, 30 minute commute. Okay. Or do you not want to commute at all? Do you want to have a five minutes? Yeah. What is the type of work do you love to do? And this might be getting with a career coach. This might be doing some personal personality tests online, but doing some self reflection of do I like to work independent? Do I like to work with people? Am I someone that likes to do things, you know, behind the computer and on a phone or I don't want to be out in social situations. Am I an entrepreneur still Labrador or do I like work in corporate America? Do I like structure and making a list and then moving yourself forward in a way of like having a vision board.
Lauren Simms: 01:00:24 Like have pictures of that ideal job, that ideal team. And when you do your gratitude, I am so thankful for landing my dream job. You know, in March of 2020 give yourself some time frame. I am so grateful that I'm running a marketing team and I, you know, live 10 minutes away from my job and I have attracted in the ideal team where I love to go to work our lunch. You know, brainstorming sessions are so fun and I'm filled in. I'm passionate about what I'm doing and as opposed to this mindset that's like, oh, I got to go to work. I hate my job. I hate my job, I hate my job. I hate my job that people can't figure out how to make change. I have to start focusing on what you want and where you're going, and that's where you're going to start to make difference decisions.
Lauren Simms: 01:01:06 You'll see ads, you're going to see jobs that pop up. You're going to hear parts of the conversation. You're going to naturally say like, yeah, but I like, I have this idea. I'm trying to create it. I'm looking for this to know anybody who you know is looking for this type of thing. It's just going to be on the forefront. And I think the same with physical health. You know, and people are like, I'm 20 pounds overweight. None of my jeans day. I'm so tired, right? Heaping them away. I'm going to start going to the gym on Monday. I'm going to hire a personal trainer. Oh, it's too expensive. And there's all this resistance against it. It's not fun. And you're just focused on everything that's not serving you. But again, when you get the vision board and you can put out a picture of your ideal body, you know, and that doesn't mean it's airbrushed and pack apps, but like what would make you feel confident?
Lauren Simms: 01:01:50 What size clothes do you want to be in? And to say, I'm so grateful that I have a fit and toned that athletic body, you know, I love it that you know, by Christmas time that everyone's worried about new year's resolutions coming up. I'm slipping into every cocktail dress, you know? And to be able to write that out and tell people yeah, and write it in a way that you're focused on what's already coming. And when I work with people on their, like their weight loss goals, I don't ask them how much weight they want to lose. I asked them, your ideal size, when was the last time you were there? How did it make you feel? What would you feel like when you're there? So that when they are like, oh my God, you know, it's a little Susie birthday party and we had Oreo cake and I'm like, you know what?
Lauren Simms: 01:02:31 Don't focus on this. Take as a punishment. Just focus on like what are the foods that are gonna make oh good. So that we can get here. And so I think when it comes to starting, when you closed your eyes and I said in five or 10 years, everything is the same, what does that look like for you? There's going to be one area of your life, if not more, where the pain is going to outweigh the pleasure of whatever benefit you're getting. If you picture yourself at 55 and prediabetic and on, you know, cholesterol medications, the way you're diet and lifestyle is going to be in 10 years, then I think burger king in slurpee sound a little bit less attractive right now because it's not about a size, it's about how you feel. That's the starting point. Have you say in five or 10 years, I still don't have a retirement plan.
Lauren Simms: 01:03:15 I still don't have a savings account. You know, I'm still going to be carrying my student loan debt around, then that pain is going to outweigh the monotony of just going to a job and clocking in and clocking out and the discomfort of filling out a resume of applying for jobs and interviewing, of collecting a new trade, getting better. That that discomfort of doing the hard work is what's going to get you out of your comfort zone and open up opportunity. But if it was easy, everybody would want to do it. So if you're sitting here listening to this and the fact that you're listening to it, right, if you want to make a change, figure out that area in your life that the pain is going to get greater than the pleasure. And that's where I think shift starts. And in terms of not sliding back into those old habits, part of that is going back to those focus laws that I referenced earlier and those are not mine.
Lauren Simms: 01:04:02 Um, I actually think they're Tony Robinson. I don't remember sometimes where I picked things up along the way, but those are not, those are not mine. You're so focused on those things, that's part of it because that's your subconscious brain that's driving every single decision. But I think accountability is huge. I'm a big fan of goals. I'm a big fan of tracking things. If I'm thinking about my business and I know my numbers and I know how many new customers we need to bring in or how many people I need to mode, I track that, you know, I'm someone that is, you know, a numbers girl and I measure it because if I'm not bringing in new customers, if I'm not helping New People get successful, I'm going to go back the other way. I know my ideal size, you know, and if I ever start to like slip into where those jeans are too tight or that bras too tight or whatever that may be, you know, I kind of know the tools and part of that is the accountability.
Lauren Simms: 01:04:53 There's that, um, the measure mark like that, I can't think of the word right now, but like you're your base marker. The baseline of what you can't handle anymore, you know, with when it comes to money, you mean if you don't know how much you want to be spending and how much you want to be saving. If you can't manage that making 50 k a year, how in the heck do you think you're going to manage that? If you made 500 k a year, and that's sometimes where people are like, Oh, if I only had more, I'm like, know your habits are going to be the exact same. You know like the people that win the lottery and they end up broke five years later. It's not because they didn't at once have millions of dollars because they didn't work with their relationships around money. And so figuring out right now, if I'm someone that wants to save 10% or 20% off every paycheck, if I want to contribute 5% or 10% or give back, whatever that looks like, but meeting your overhead, you know, knowing your base minimum, thanks, here's my extra play funds, spending money and save it and getting those habits in place because then as your income grows and the job change and success come, you can reflect and apply the same base principles that you taught yourself in a tough situation when you're in a thriving and situation.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:06:01 Mike job, you guys didn't hear the mic drop but it dropped. So now how about people that, so that covered a lot around, I mean they covered all kinds of things around starting. I mean you covered finance and, and fitness and, and all of that. How about people? If they start to fallback, if that starting, you know, you were talking about like, and maybe you answered it, but you were talking about, you know, if you have that number, you know, if you like the size, say with your clothes. I, and I t I totally 100% agree with this. I stopped worrying about my weight so long ago because it is such an awful number to base everything on. And especially with muscle wing more than fat. And I've, I've always been a little bit more of a like has um, what's the word? Yeah, like huskier type guy.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:06:57 And even when I was overweight I was still just kind of bulky, you know, Husky and I'm five, nine and a half, five, 10 or something like that, you know? And so like I'm also not super tall and so I've had to really stay on top of that. I can't eat a ton of carbs and I can't eat a ton of starch. And fortunately I'm not a huge sweet tooth person. Um, you know, I have that same kind of marker for myself so I can totally speak to that as well. Cause I, I used to just, you know, you get on the scale and you're just like, ah, and then you just feel bad, you know? But then if I'm, you know, as we talked about at the top of the show, you know, if I'm working out regularly, it's helping my mental state. It's helping my physical state.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:07:45 I'm feeling good, I'm feeling healthy, I'm feeling strong. People make comments, you know, and it doesn't have anything to do with my fucking weight, you know, because that's not what they're saying. Like, Oh, you look so great. You're at 180 pounds or whatever like that. That's not the conversation. They're saying, oh, you know, you're looking trim or whatever. Like you look nice today and that, that's enough like that. That's enough if you have to worry about what somebody else says. Um, but for me, I know that I feel good because I'm keeping my sanity by going regularly to work out because I know it helps me mentally. I know it helps me physically and I, I made that same choice that you were talking about where I was like, I don't want to, I don't want to be someone who lets that kind of thing go to a point where I'm getting older and I can't do as many things or I'm just feeling worse about myself.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:08:46 I wanted to make that life change and, and say, no, I want to look good. I want to look fit, I want to be fit. I want to be able to travel because my wife and I love travel and I want to be able to travel. I want to be literally active whether I'm here or abroad, but also be able to even do it and get around as long as I possibly can. Now if something gets in the way like a disease or you know, something that is an affliction that we are very familiar with that you can't do anything about, at least you're doing what you can about the things you can. So a long story, long story long again. Uh, now what do you, are there any other comments you have around if people start to fall back, if they have started with something and maybe they get off, like I just got off by being sick and going to a family reunion and I was like, I've got to get back to the gym.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:09:38 I've got to get back to the gym. But I was feeling like, Oh man, you know, I, you know, I wanted to get well and the reunion came up and so you're a little off when you travel. Like it's really hard to keep that routine. And plus, you know, I don't, I don't even think there is an orange theory in Lake Tahoe. I was starting to feel that exact way. I of course came back and booked Monday, just like you mentioned a minute ago, you know, sometimes you're like, oh, I've got to get back in the gym Monday. And I did that, but I knew I needed to, I needed to get back to that routine. So what, what do you, what do you say about people that start to fall back?
Lauren Simms: 01:10:15 So there's so many levels of this and in so many different areas. I know because of my background, we've talked a lot about, you know, fitness and health or you know, the relationship with money. But I think the part of it you have to remember like why is that important to you? You know, I mean that's, that's a premise of this. And also recognizing were those old habits come from. So to be completely vulnerable with you guys, I, I struggle with as an emotional eater, even after I had lost weight. So even once I was fit and I was a personal trainer and I was teaching group fitness classes, people would not have known this about me. But when I got stood up on a date, right, or I was stressed out or you know, I got in a fight with a boyfriend or any of those types of things that trigger that emotional response.
Lauren Simms: 01:10:58 I was like a total a chocolate chip cookie, you know, Ben and Jerry pint of ice cream, like in privacy type of girl. And I, you know, I was like, I can run this offer, I can, you know, spin this off or whatever that was. And I felt like crap and I, I felt like crap eating it. And then I really felt like crap afterwards. I mean the, the noise in your head, it doesn't get any better because you self sabotage emotionally eating and anyone who's ever done that do know exactly what I'm talking about. I mean the noise in your head gets even worse. But then why do we do those things to yourself? And that's the work that unfortunately, and Gabe and I are not going to be able to cover, you know, an hour long chat today, but you've got to understand why you doing that to yourself.
Lauren Simms: 01:11:40 You know, and those deep, deep, deep core same messages of not being good enough, not being worthy enough, not being lovable enough. And that's what you have to the work through. Because once you can really change that pattern, you won't do that. And so for some of you, when you're thinking about your mother or your best friend or for your children and you know, you would not say the things to them that you say to yourself, why? Right? You would not tell your child, oh, I'm sorry you got your heartbroken. Go eat six bags of Cheetos and two things upon bonds. You're going to feel better. You would not do that. Why? Well, why don't we do that to ourselves? And the same thing you know with money. If you're so upside down in a situation and you go out on a retail shopping spree, feel better and suddenly the $200 you spent becomes $2,000 because of interest and late payments.
Lauren Simms: 01:12:34 Anything else in the noise that you tell yourself? Like, why was it, what was it that the materialistic items were the billing and you don't have at your core in terms of the self worth and the terms of the, you know, the health love and the um, deserve that just aren't meanness or any of that. That's really where I'm thinking it comes up again. So I can tell you today there are still things that make me sad. There are definitely things that still piss me off, but I haven't been an emotional eater on many, many, many years because I care about myself and the only person that pays that price is myself, you know? So sometimes I journal when I get sad sometimes, you know, I'd call her girlfriend and I want to talk about it. Sometimes I go for a run, but that I won't ever do that again.
Lauren Simms: 01:13:17 And part of that's because I realized why I did it and I won't ever let somebody have that control over my life. You know, they can't let someone go. Your sparkle, you can't give that away. And the same with, you know, my habits. Like when I think about, and I said it on the call, I am not employable. Like I'm never ever submitting a resume and going through an interview process again ever. But then what are the things I have to do? And I was listening to a podcast a couple of weeks ago, um, I think it was Gary d and j Shetty and Gary v was talking about that today is like the most opportune time for an entrepreneur to be an entrepreneur. He goes, but here's the funny thing. Like there's all these people that want to be an entrepreneur and they want to make multiple six figures and have a seven figure income.
Lauren Simms: 01:14:01 He's like, would they ever want to work on Saturdays? And I had like literally started laughing because I still work a lot of hours and it's in a way that I love and it feels when it's for yourself or for other people, your passion or your purpose. But I might not set an alarm at 4:30 AM to go personal train someone at 5:00 AM for $12 an hour. But I also answer my phone on Saturdays and on Sundays. And you know, it just doesn't stop and having that discipline. So if you had success and all of a sudden your business is going the other way, you're going to end up with two choices. You're the do what you did in the first place to get you back there. You're going to be looking for a plan B. And I think that's why the goals is so important and tracking and tracking those numbers and having that accountability.
Lauren Simms: 01:14:44 But you have to know why. Like you're either w what your why has changed that you're not in love with it anymore. That you don't want to be doing that or understand the why of a self sabotage. Understand why those old habits are kind of coming up. And I'm going to just share a story cause we were talking so much about relationships and so much about finances or I'm sorry health and about finances, but the relationships won. You guys, this was a hard one for me and I um, you know, I could go out, I can meet people. I got hit on all the time when I was bartending and that was always not fun. But regardless. Um, it wasn't necessarily, I didn't feel like I was attractive or social, but I couldn't land a relationship. But I either was attracting in someone that didn't align with my values, initiative and vision and think that it just kind of like, right.
Lauren Simms: 01:15:28 Or I was attracting in everything I didn't want. Partially because that's what I was focused on. Well, I don't want to smoke her. I don't want someone who, is it motivated or I don't want someone who doesn't work on, I don't, the world doesn't know. Right? Like if you do or you don't, it's just what you're focused on. If you tell a kid, hey, don't slam the door, what are they going to do? Or slammed the door or you say, hey, can you please close the door quietly on your way out? You're going to do that. Like the word don't is negated in the law of attraction world. It's what out there is what's going to come back. And so here I'm talking to my friends and being like, well, I don't want a guy that doesn't do that and I don't want a guy that doesn't do that.
Lauren Simms: 01:16:03 And I guess when I saw every day, because that's what I was putting out there and part of the work from me finding great relationships and not just romantic, you know, in the relationship I'm in now, but with my girlfriends, you know, and switching the type of people that were in my life with understanding that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So that reflection is that the person you want to be with or don't want to deal with. If you're hanging around a lot of people that gossip, well either so gossipy about you, but guess what you're going to be, you're going to be a gossiper. You've got to separate from that. You're hanging around a bunch of people that are broke. You're going to have poor money habits. You're hanging out with a bunch of people that are out of shape and deconditioned and want to eat French fries and drink beer all day long and that's what your life is going to look like.
Lauren Simms: 01:16:46 But when you can get really clear and the things that you do want and the people that Mary space in your life, I mean you can love people. It's not that you're better than them, but if you're not aligned with them, you have got to make space for the people you're aligned with and choosing. Just say like, I want to be around people that have, you know, relationships, good, positive relationships with money. I want to be around people that are motivated, that are driven, that are, yeah, share about other people are honest, that having Tegrity that are loyal, that are funny or whatever that looks like, and bring those people into your life. And that alone, I swears the glue to just making those changes that you don't slip into those bad habits because when you are around people that raise the bar, you're going to raise the bar for yourself. You're around well placement or allow you to justify an excuse your habit. It's so much easier to slide back into them.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:17:33 Woo. Woo
Lauren Simms: 01:17:34 Haha.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:17:36 I just heard the mic drop again. Somebody brought the fire Sista mmm girl. Love it man. Hope you guys are listening cause this is an epic show. I'm loving this. Thank you so much.
Lauren Simms: 01:17:51 Thank you.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:17:53 That again, lead me right along the way with questions like, so how do you, you're so goal oriented and I love that. That's something I'm still trying to refine myself. It's so funny. I watched, do you know Matt D'Avella?
Lauren Simms: 01:18:08 I don't think so.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:18:08 He's the director by behind The Minimalists. It's on Netflix with The Minimalists and he interacts with them a lot. I think they're actually working on another one. I love his channel. He is so awesome. And he, so he shoots stuff every week and he also has a podcast called the ground up and I just, I love it. I love him. I think he's awesome. He's super funny and he's really vulnerable. Just like you are. Like he's, and you know he's, he's very transparent about things. He does like 30 day challenges. He did like the idea ice cold showers. He was doing those and he was actually filming them.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:18:42 Uh, it was hysterical cause he, you could just see he's just, and he was any actually even said I had to shoot longer. I had to be in the shower longer cause I had to shoot my stuff and then also like, like shoot the stuff in shorts that was on camera but then like, you know, actually take my shower and still be in a cold. So you know, and he was sharing that stuff. It's so funny. Um, but he was talking about how he did journaling and you mentioned that a minute ago and uh, I just, I wanted to bring this up cause I thought it was so funny cause I, I've also had this bout of journaling and he was showing this stack of journals on a desk and he's like, yeah, this is how many books I've got that have just been these start and stop journaling sessions.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:19:24 I've had the same problem with that because I see the merit in it, but it's just been so hard for me to keep on with that. And I even tried to like a challenge for awhile this year where I was like really trying to do it every morning. Gratitude. I'm doing gratitude practice in the morning as well. And I found that I got off. So part of these questions I've been asking, you're completely about me as well. Um, one of the things he joked about, he was, he was like, I'm not into journaling, but I did see the merit in it. And so it was interesting. He was, he, he's, he was just saying it was hard, right? It's just, it's just like going to the gym. It's, it's hard to do. But he was like, I didn't like it until I did. You know, he was talking about how he had that transformation in the, getting it out, was able to help
Gabe Ratliff: 01:20:08 him and he has anxiety issues and all these things and he was able to break that down. So I just thought that was also a great example from either mine or his, you know, for, for the audience because we all have things that we can start and stop and, and we're all imperfect, you know, and it's, it's, this conversation is very relevant to everyone. So I was just saying, you know, you're, you're so into setting goals and I was just curious if you could speak a little bit about like how you go about setting your goals and how often do you check in and reassess your goals.
Lauren Simms: 01:20:37 Yeah, that's great. And actually this is like one of the, uh, the keynotes that I do is all around goals. And this is a great question, but
Lauren Simms: 01:20:47 there was an actress acronym I learned probably 20 years ago. I mean, it's, a lot of corporations use, it did come from the fitness community, but it's smart goals and most people have heard it. But if not, it's an acronym or specific measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. And I think that's always the starting point of it. So if you think about someone who wants to lose a hundred pounds, right? Okay. So what, what specific the a hundred pounds, right? Is it measurable? Yes. Is it attainable? Yes. I mean, given the timeframe, is it realistic? Yes. Given the timeframe, but then the teeth going to be the, which part can I lose a hundred pounds in 30 days? No, in six months, probably not in a year. Yes. Well, what does that plan look like? And then where are the mile markers that you're checking in on? So if someone loses 10 pounds in the first month and they're going, oh my gosh, like I'm still 90 pounds overweight, how challenging is that going to be for that person to stay the course?
Lauren Simms: 01:21:47 But if we say, well, you're 50% to the first goal, which was 20 pounds in the first, you know, 20 days or 40 days or whatever that was, that person's like, oh my gosh, okay, I'm already like 25% of the way there. And that has to be part of it. Same thing, you know, when I was, you know, buried in debt, buried in debt, you guys, I wasn't like I'm going to have a bonus check and pay off 10 grand in credit cards. Like that doesn't happen. But it was kind of saying, okay, if I make this payment every month and what do I have to give up? You know, and ladies I'm talking to you right now, but I decided to not get my hair done every eight weeks but about like every 20 weeks and stretched it out because that was money I could apply, do a credit card, you know, I decided to do my nails at home instead of going to a salon and spending $100 a month. What are the areas that you're willing to kind of make those changes?
Lauren Simms: 01:22:35 So in some ways when I make like audacious goals, like annual goals, that's more of like the big picture overview, but like assessing like on a monthly basis, quarterly basis. Are you getting yourself there? I think for some goals, their weekly, you know when I look at how many new customers do I want to bring into my organization or how many well do I want to promote? That's weekly, that's monthly. And a lot of corporations like that, a lot of companies have monthly sales goals. If it's a fitness thing and you have goals like I want to work out three times this week, okay, track it, write it out, you know, upper body, lower body cardio, whatever that looks like and hold yourself accountable and then start to raise it. You know, I want to work out four times a week or I want to work out five times a week.
Lauren Simms: 01:23:16 But I think when you go back to that acronym of being very specific, so right now you're a beginner and you're saying, okay, I'm going to work out three times a week. You know, it might evolve a year from now that I want to do two upper body workouts this week to lower body workouts. You know, one steady state cardio, one hit workout and a yoga session. And for some of you that just said what fitness, Latin was that that's okay. You're not there yet. But part of that reassessing is where you're going. Yeah. And in addition to pain goals, like a lot of us right goals because we want to change the situation we're in, you know, our, our finances or our health or whatever. I also would encourage you to set goals that encourage you to reach for certain things, right. To strive for where you want to go and where you want to be.
Lauren Simms: 01:24:00 I don't write goals around weight loss anymore. Like I don't, right? Oh, around, I'm trying to change my body fat, but I write goals on like getting faster. I'm getting heavier. Like how many more, which apps can I do in a minute? If right now when I, you know, Gabe was talking about 12.0 the fast go on a treadmill. So I have the Peloton in my speed often my run speed 7.0 it's like a nine minute mile. So I have a goal right now is to be able to get that to an 8.0 to get it closer, do an eight minute mile, and that's something I'm working towards and I don't go from 7.0 to 8.0 the next run, right? It's like 7.1 all right. A couple weeks later it was like 7.2 and you do you tip away edit. But it, the goal setting is specific. Is it measurable?
Lauren Simms: 01:24:43 Is it attainable, is it realistic, is it timely? But my challenge for you is to that focusing always on goals of situations to change what you don't want, but really write some goals and focus on the things that you do want to happen that you're really striving for that are helping you become the best version of yourself. So I have a friend who is an author and that was working with her in a coaching session because she wants to be a top seller. And I said, then what are the things that you're doing to get your book out there? Because it's not just going to happen if you're not promoting it and other people aren't promoting and so we wrote down goals. The highlight is how do I become an Amazon top seller? How do I become a New York Times best seller? And I said, okay, how many days a week are you posting it on social media?
Lauren Simms: 01:25:32 How many of your friends and family and you know followers are doing Instagram stories or Facebook Graham, you know Facebook, not Facebook groups, Facebook stories for you. How many book launches are you doing? How many places are you doing book signings, what are these things that you can track? And I said, okay, what's the time frame you want to have batch? She goes, by the end of the year, I know this was a few weeks ago, I'm like, you have six months. Okay, you have six months. This is the timeframe. What are you doing each month? And then she's tracking like how many sales she has to get right to become the best sellers. She knew those numbers. I didn't know that. Right. And a book selling Public Syrup type thing. That's not my background cause she knew that and I said, okay then what are you doing each month to break that down?
Lauren Simms: 01:26:12 What are you doing each week? And that's where I worked with her. They get her very, very clear on the conversations she's having. Right. The amount of events that she's having, the other people that are working for her in order for that to happen. And now she has a plan. But instead of based out of this fear of, oh my gosh, if I don't sell this many books and I don't make Xyz amount of money, I have to go back and do Xyz for a job. I was like, hell yeah, you're going to be the top seller, but what do we need to do? And like what is the actual steps to really get that in motion?
Gabe Ratliff: 01:26:42 I'm also curious about does, this is also a big thing for me. I'm a fan of day and time blocking and I'm always curious about how people manage that. So, you know, Tuesdays, my podcast recording day. And so here we are, you know, and I have another one later this evening and it's great because I know today when I get up, I get in the mindset, you know, I make my shake, I like get going, I get excited, I, I prep, you know, I go over my questions, I get into the spirit, like who am I talking to? What am I at? Where are they at? What do we, what are we getting into today? Who am I serving? Who's going to get what? You know, what are they going to get out of this? And I get hype, take my cold shower, all that stuff, you know, and I, I get excited and awake and, and get ready and I know that that's what I'm doing on Tuesdays.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:27:30 Um, and so I'm always curious about talking to people about, especially someone like yourself. Like, how do you handle your, you know, blocking for your day and your week so that you can stay productive and, and, and feel like you're actually living the, because we're also, the reason I'm asking this is because we're also talking about your, you're very devout to living the life that you want, right? Like you're wanting to, and I'm also about this, I'm all about having the perfect day, right? What are your perfect days? What does that look like with relative to your business or to your life? Like what does that look like? So I'm curious how you handle that.
Lauren Simms: 01:28:06 Yeah, no, that's such great questions. And I think everybody can do this a little bit differently. And I feel most people do well with some structure and they do do with the time blocking. Now I'm a strength of mine and in the book, my book, you know, I say, um, became an activated achiever. So both an activator and an achiever are types of strengths from the referenced strength finder test. And part of that is I just have a to do list and regardless by the side to sit down at 11:00 AM or I sit down at 7:00 PM I just have my to do list and as long as I get through it and I'm also a great like multitasker, like people laugh because I literally can be like curling my hair, listening to a podcast telling Siri to text. Isn't that reading an email. And I know that that's not as relatable to a lot of people.
Lauren Simms: 01:28:54 So I am a huge fan of what you are saying. Um, Gabe and think about when you've ever seen fitness plan, it's not just like I'm going to go work out today because you wouldn't know what you were doing. And I mean to some extent you can get specific with like the reps and the sets, but like Gabe was saying, orange is doing that where they're mixing up the type of cardio and the upper body and the lower body. That could be it there too. If you're going to work out, you can do the same thing every single day, probably not in. So just knowing, and I think getting your body used to doing things around the same time, it's easier to get into a habit and kind of find these rituals. And so if you're a morning person, maybe you work out at 5:00 AM Monday, Wednesday, Friday, maybe at 6:00 AM if you're an evening person, maybe it's five or 6:00 PM but if you're like, well, I'm going to do this at four and this one at seven when your body struggles find a routine, I think it's harder to find consistency.
Lauren Simms: 01:29:49 I think that that's great. But when you're looking at your day, especially for the entrepreneurs listening to this, there's a lot of things that I believe keep us busy but are not income producing. And so if you're the CEO and you had 10 people in your team or 10 people in your company, 10 people that you employed that did exactly what you did every single day, what does your business look like? And I think that question when you can really ask yourself and then ask, you know, the people that you're helping is a true reflection because what are the hours or minutes of your day that you're spending rolling, just scrolling and then you get distracted and you're on Pinterest and you goes into a youtube and then you follow this person and an hour of your day is just gone. And so sometimes like we encourage people set timers, you know like if you're gonna do some prospecting, you're going to do some some reach touts, set a timer.
Lauren Simms: 01:30:43 If you are doing some follow ups, set a timer. If you are in social media because you're looking for something or you're commenting or you're putting your presence out there and making a post, set a timer like when I was off, you need to go. I think it's very, very, very important to build out your income producing activities. You know, your admin type duties, your team building type activities. And of course the fun and the joy and the things that you look forward to because what are you doing it all for? If you don't get to celebrate that, you know, if there's not some things that really matter. And for years you guys, I was single and I feel all of my businesses on my own and so it didn't really matter. But now I have a family and I do want to have dinner with them and part of my day is being able to be here and spend time with them that I don't like to work through that time anymore.
Lauren Simms: 01:31:30 So maybe I do things in the afternoon where I didn't use to. I stay up a little bit later. Everybody's schedule is a little bit different. But what are the things that make you tick like to you? So excited and I recognize that the gym can be a place of, you know, resentment for some people and that feels like a chore. That is truly my happy place. My hour or two, that is my joy. And if people take that away from me or if I'm injured, like that's not a good thing. And I like gave, you know, and he's like, there's not an orange Syrian Tahoe. I'd be like calisthenics. I'm someone that does it when I go. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Detroit is something that I love, but being able to work a 12 hour day sometimes so I can take two days off and not worry about losing money.
Lauren Simms: 01:32:14 That's part of my ideal day, you know, deciding on Mondays and Wednesdays, I want to get up really early and I want to be done at noon. Right. As opposed to maybe Tuesdays and Thursdays. I want to have a slower morning, do some errands, go to lunch with a girlfriend, but I'm going to work later that night. That's part of being an independent business owner that you choose, but even if you're not there, you have a more nine to five. Ask yourself like what percentage of your day is with family and friends? What percentage of your day is around health? What percentage of that? Yeah, making you busy and stressing you out, but not, you know, really kind of income producing. I'm a huge, huge, huge fan of just cluster booking that if you saw my calendar and if anybody ever reaches out to me, I'll send you a screenshot.
Lauren Simms: 01:32:56 It works through Gmail, but I have it all color coded. And so I heard once, and this was from a pastor years ago, but if you ever want to know where you're spending your time and where you're spending your money, look at your calendar and look at your bank account and it's a total mirror image of the things that are important to you. And because it's color coded and I know that red isn't for me, you know, I know that blue is my mentoring and my coaching call. I know that pink is my social and my personal staff, you know, whatever that may be. I can look at my calendar lands and go, holy crap, you have a week full of social events and there is nothing on here that's income producing and quickly go, I need to cancel some pink and put in some red. I can look at it that fast and just say how much of what I'm doing.
Lauren Simms: 01:33:44 The same thing. If there's not enough blue on there, which is my health and wellness, right. Or you know, whatever the color may be, I need to do something different. I need to, you know, add in some more classes or block out some more time. But I met huge hand and with accountability, screenshot it to someone, screenshot it to your men or screenshot it to uh, you know, a friend of yours, a business partner and say, Hey, hold me accountable to this. And that's something I do if I'm coaching you. And I said, I need to see your calendar for the week. You know, I want to see what's on your schedule. Because if you don't have appointments, you don't have a bank account. You know, if, if you're an entrepreneur and you don't have things lined up, like how are you going to get paid?
Lauren Simms: 01:34:18 You can't just like that around all day long and listen to podcasts. I mean, as great as these are and as inspiring, they're not going to be income producing. And so many people I find are caught scrolling or growing or learning, but they're not doing any of the action items. Your calendar will absolutely represent that. What was that app called? Kellen? Do Helen do c? A. L E n. G. O. Seek through your Gmail. You know that you can set up all of your different calendars. Um, and I'll show you just now because a hundred here, but, um, if anybody you know, sees the video, you can just see like all the colors. Actually just recently my dad's calendar things going on with him, but you can just look at all the, are his caregivers, you know, I can just go through and that's in that weekly view. But in the, um, like the monthly view, like I can just look at it and see, you know, how many appointments I have or what does that look like, like daily stuff. And I'm a huge fan of it and I encourage people to do something, even if it's not that one, because you can look at it and say, wow, I don't have any one to one meetings today.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:35:19 Yeah.
Lauren Simms: 01:35:20 Oh, and your story.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:35:21 Yeah, I do. As similar in, cause I have a color for podcast. I have a color for company, you know, CR, uh, my media company. I have four meetings or, you know, uh, workshops, things I get, networking, things like that. And then I have my personal, um, that I share with my wife and you know, all that stuff. So there's several different things that I can look at, not to mention reminders and tasks and all that stuff too that are in there. So I'm going to, I'm going to start winding this down is where I could keep talking to you all day, but I want to honor your time and so I've got a few kind of quick fun wrap up questions I like to do at the end. But I was wondering if you would like to take maybe a moment because you have your, we've mentioned it a little bit, but you have your new book get off the curb and I was wondering if you maybe want to talk about both of your books and just kind of give people an idea about what they're each about, um, and where they can find them.
Lauren Simms: 01:36:18 Sure. Thank you. So why can't, as a four letter word you guys, it's a tiny book. You can put it in your bathroom and read it in one little visits. Um, you know, some people put it on their coffee table, but it was initially an ebook. I had it on my website and it was something that someone could download for free. You know, that was my kind of gift to them so they could get to know me. But it's just a little call to action of to get the excuses out of your head. And you know, we always say, we can't do that, we can't do that. And it goes back to choosing that hard. But yes, you can and you need to have a decision, then you need to have a roadmap and then you just need to kind of go for it. And so it's simple and it's easy and it's on Amazon.
Lauren Simms: 01:36:57 Um, and if you just look, Lauren, Danielle, and why can't, it's a four letter word, you'll find it. And then, um, the second book, which was launched earlier this summer, and that's called get off the curb from a fight or flight to activated achiever. It is not a memoir and it's not a bibliography, but it is my story. But I share it in a way of the lessons I learned and really the impact for the reader and then sharing the how that you can make a change as well. So I had three major incidences in my life that happened that because a lot of anxiety and PTSD in my life that even though I thought I had toured them, this response of fight or flight, why either was like so quick to snap or just exit a situation and don't really realize how much that was constantly and through my love for fitness and how and then personal growth and network marketing and these things that came into place. It really is who I am today and those daily rituals that I talk about and everything that I've learned and that's been so instrumental in my life. I really just try to pay that forward and say, hey, this is what's helped me. It can help you. And the simple, simple thought on that when it's get off the curb is like, don't be a victim. Like we all get knocked down but like rise up, keep going. You know, like take the lesson. And just be the person you were created. Yeah,
Gabe Ratliff: 01:38:16 no, I love that. That was actually the exact statement I made to myself because I realized I kept portraying the victim and I would go into this space because growing up I was very much an outsider, the Weirdo six, you know, sensitive, creative guy. And you know, even in my group of friends, I would make these comments that they would like, you know, Josh ran with me about or make fun of me cause I would just make these like weird, sensitive type comments in a group of Dudes, you know? And so I felt like a victim constantly and you know, there was all kinds of other things in my life with in family and things like that, that where I was feeling like a victim or you know, being bullied or whatnot and was, was kept putting my myself in this space of like, you know, this is happening to me, it's happening to me.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:39:10 And yeah, I remembered all of these times as I was looking back and thinking like, yeah, but you have a choice, right? You don't have to be a VAT, a victim, you don't have to play that part. This is not, you're not typecast. You don't have to be that person and making that step. And it was the same thing with fitness and diet and all of those things. And I started, you know, playing around with, you know, I do a plant based protein shake and same thing we were talking about with like our workouts, like I was, I figured out like what is the workout that works for me and I found Orangetheory and I was like, this answers so many things. I don't, you know, as we've both talked about, it just, it solved the thing for me that allowed me to get what I wanted.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:39:50 But they were taking all of that guesswork out for me. Becoming a fitness person. I didn't want to become a fitness trainer, but I wanted to get that workout and I wanted all the other things that came with it that were positive for me. Like the, you know, I work alone a lot cause I'm, you know, we're entrepreneurs so a lot of the time we're doing deep work in the mornings and whatnot and you know, making meetings, it might be with one person and a lot of the time you're working alone. And so being able to have that time with people to have that interaction, to have that little bit of positive competition and all that stuff and just getting out and having that reset and your brain is really helpful.
Lauren Simms: 01:40:28 Totally.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:40:29 So yeah, I I totally connect with that. I that resonates so much for me. Thank you for sharing that. And that those are both on Amazon?
Lauren Simms: 01:40:37 Yup.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:40:38 Fantastic. That's like another whole podcast you're sharing about like your three instances in, in your life. And so that's like another whole show which can happen in the future. Kids let me know if you want her to come back on. So quick wrap up questions for,
Gabe Ratliff: 01:40:53 describe a simple pleasure.
Lauren Simms: 01:40:56 Um, um, in the beach with the ocean and a cocktail in my hand
Gabe Ratliff: 01:41:01 here, here a girl. I love it. You know, I was going to say, you were talking about when I was in Tahoe. And so my, I love the, the water. Um, my wife is a Pisces. We're both huge into water. Uh, like I said, I was a raft guide and kayaker and all that stuff. And so I was in the lake or the pool every day. That was my thing. I was like, I don't know if there's an orange theory and I'm pretty sure there's not, I'm going to be in the lake. So that was, that was our thing. I was swimming laps in the freezing cold. It was amazing. That's awesome. Um, what are your, what are your morning rituals and what are your evening rituals that you are a perfect person to ask this question?
Lauren Simms: 01:41:40 Yeah, the morning rituals. I know we, I didn't know that was going to happen, so, um, kind of talked about it, but it's always gratitude. Always, always fitness. Okay. You know, like even on Sundays are a rest day, you know, I get calls me and we walk around the park or you know, do something that we work in the yard. It just moving your body some way. Definitely those intention statements and you know, sometimes on my own or like I'll ask Ryan's my boyfriend, you know, I'm like, what are you going to do today? That's amazing. You know, or I'll ask these kids when they're on their way. Well I'm like, are you going to do today? That's amazing. What are you excited about? And just trying to like set that tone. But I also just pour love into people. So this is something that I've not always done, but maybe the last five years and whether it's my team and I think I have this maybe because of them and I send cards or I send you know, messages to them or whatever that may look like.
Lauren Simms: 01:42:31 Sometimes it's actually wishing people happy birthday. So Facebook, it's so easy like HPD and the calling you and being like that and letting them kind of hear your voice. Um, and typically it depends when I shower cause even though sometimes I think first thing in the morning, the ability to work from home and not till later, but I do listen to a podcast. So whenever I get ready, whenever that is throughout the day, um, I truly, truly a believer in this growing and getting better. So I listened to it and I also read 10 pages of a book, so I have books all over. I mean you can see some of them in my office, but like right now I'm reading to be a bad ass with money. I'm reading a leadership book by John Maxwell, but they're all over like one in my bag, one in my office, the bedroom.
Lauren Simms: 01:43:16 And it's just something that I'm constantly not trying to go cover to cover, but just 10 pages. And at night I have started and this is only like a year and a half, but I shut down the social media and just shut down like my email and all of that for the last hour too because I don't want to go to bed thinking about that. I don't want to worry about what I haven't finished yet for the day, any drama that comes up. So that goes away. Um, I'm not a TV person. I'm not like Ryan would really loved me to get into shows. And that's just not my jam. So we'll spend time together. You know, again, it's reading or kind of getting ready for bed. I literally every night before bed I asked what was the best part of your day today? And I did that when I was single.
Lauren Simms: 01:44:00 So for anyone out there that's not in a relationship that you can't ask your significant other that. Ask yourself. And I think it's so important to just go to bed and a happy place and not really anxiety of what you did that or we put so much pressure on ourselves, what we didn't do well enough. It's so easy for us. Yes. When ourselves to just the last thing you ask yourself like what was the best part of my day today? You know, and just go into that feeling good and you got to wake up and do it again the next day
Gabe Ratliff: 01:44:29 here. Here. I remember you speaking about that earlier. I wanted to also call out the, the, the evening rituals because I find a lot of people talking about the morning. And I'm also really fascinated with the evening cause that's like a really powerful time because that is when you, and you know, sleep is so important to health. And that's something that I've had my own arduous issues with because I have monkey brain and it's really hard for me. I've been doing insight timer, it's a, it's a meditation app and that's been great for me to, to doze off, you know, and get a better sleep. I've tried Kavinace, which is like a natural sleep. I'm not into sleep aids and took me forever to finally try it, but it's an actual, like natural herbal supplement. So I've tried that, which is actually pretty solid as well. I still feel a little groggy when I do that, but I, I'm really more into the natural.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:45:22 I do a fitbit, so I track my sleep, uh, in my workouts, you know. So you were talking about like tracking your workouts. So that was an easy way for me to do both. So I was like, I'm going to get this, this tracks that stuff for me. I can keep up like how many workouts do I do this week? How many steps am I getting? How many hours did I sleep this week? And how were they good? Were they good hours? What did I have a lot on my mind? You know, where am I at? And it does that. Why I'm so groggy today. You know? And so I, I'm always curious about both because I think that one starts your day off really well and one ends it really well and it's, I always love hearing how people handle that.
Lauren Simms: 01:45:58 Keep going. You asked me too about are the important day and I was saying dinner, but that's like towards the end of the night because between my coaching calls or you know, Ryan's can you, but I love to cook and so to see, and we really enjoy finding fun recipes together and just challenging ourselves to not create the same thing over and over. And that's truly the end of our day. We don't eat till eight or nine sometimes. And so that's really it. Like, you know, if you follow me on Instagram, I always make these fun stories. Cause sometimes I'm like, I don't know what this is, but we're going to figure out how to make it, if I got it from the farmer's market or something. And that's it. And that's our time together and really like just chatting and laughing and doing something that we both are engaged in and not just like shutting out, plugging in TV.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:46:38 Yeah, sure. Yeah. We actually started using green chef several months ago and loved them because we, it keeps this mixed up and we love to cook as well. And so we're learning all kinds of new cuisines cause it'll be stuff from, you know, South America or from Africa or whatever. And I'd be like, really kind of what you're not expecting to cook and you're like, holy cow, I just learned, you know, some crazy dish. And it was amazing, you know? And, um, and we still do our own dishes, but you know, it's just like a nice thing each week to have a few dinners where you don't, you're not, you know, you get to have the, the, the, the time cooking but you don't have to plan every meal, you know. So that's something that we've been playing around with is trying those different things out. And I love them cause everything's recyclable and compostable and the dishes are tasty, but they're also healthy. We do the keto, gluten free ones, uh, currently. And um, you know, it's like you stay in a healthy space but you can try new stuff and, and uh, and, and you know, it's also helping teach things about cooking, which I also love continuing to grow in that like learning little things and their sauces are epic. Oh my gosh. What's the best or most worthwhile investment that you've made and how did you decide to make it?
Lauren Simms: 01:47:57 Best or worthwhile investment? Well, probably one of two things, and this is just what initially came up. Well, the first is going to be my first 30 day system with my health and wellness company because that beyond gave me a wonderful return of investment. But it changed my life. You know, it changed my day to day. It changed the people in my life, my passion, things I really want to do. But almost simultaneously, um, the two answers that came up, were either attending a Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within. And that was an incredible conference for me. And not everybody gets the same results, but that was the first time that I felt that I broke through limiting beliefs. So we all have them and we all want to. But that was like I felt the shift. And since then, and that was, um, just under two years ago things I said I was going to do, like I'm going to read a book, I wrote a book, you know, the type of relationship I wanted to be in, you know, buying a house, like whatever those things where it's like boom, boom, boom.
Lauren Simms: 01:48:58 And that one, if I look back, how many things have shifted since then? And also hiring my life coach Lisa, um, Foster who I reference a lot in "Get Off the Curb" because she was pivotal for me letting go of the stories in my life and truly accepting myself and loving myself and feeling that self worth and the does I'm deserving all of the things that I was attracted into my life. And you know, her coaching program, um, was not inexpensive, but the value and the shifts and the knowledge and everything that I've gained, it changed my life. It was absolutely pivotal.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:49:37 Wow. Thank you for sharing that.
Lauren Simms: 01:49:40 Yeah, of course.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:49:41 For any of this stuff, you know, I'll make sure and get links to people and things, you know, like your books and all that stuff so that we can, we can share this with people in the show notes. Uh, last two things. Any final parting words you'd like to share?
Lauren Simms: 01:49:55 Well, thank you guys for listening. Gabe, of course. Thank you for having me. But anyone of needs this, you know, if it's in your shower time or commute time or whenever you plug in. Um, I just hope you know that I can say this without knowing Gabe very well because of what he's doing. And I'll say it for myself, that we care about you and the whole purpose that we're sharing our stories and even creating a platform is because I want to inspire and we want to impact in whatever it is in your life that you are feeling drawn to. Um, to get out of your own way with telling yourself that it's going to be hard if you're telling yourself that you can't do it. Staying stuck in my opinion is way more painful and just know, we believe in you, we encourage you, we're here to help you and feel free to reach out if there's anything that either of us can do to assist you in that journey. Like it would be an honor to partner with you and encourage you and you know, just cheer you on along the way.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:50:46 Hear! Hear! And last thing. Where can people find you on the interwebs?
Lauren Simms: 01:50:52 So I don't do a lot on Linkedin, but, um, that's my name, Lauren Simms on Instagram. It's Life with Lauren Danielle. So Danielle is my middle name. I'm a kind of go back and forth with things there. Um, Facebook. It's Lauren Simms and the books are both on Amazon. "Why Can't is a Four-Letter Word" or "Get Off the Curb" by Lauren Danielle and I'm not giving you all my texts numbers, but you can definitely find me on Facebook and my website is lifewithlaurendanielle.com. So it's been a total pleasure to be on here and I know that your listeners learn every single day because of that information and stories you shared Gabe and Um, I feel that I just want to really applaud anybody who takes the time to listen to things that are going to help them and encourage them and grow them, um, as opposed to just with them or for them or numb them. And, um, and just really truly grateful for all of you for taking the time to listen to this today.
Gabe Ratliff: 01:51:49 Well that's it for this episode. If this is your first time listening, thank you so much for being here. I really hope you enjoy the show. The Vitalic Project podcast comes out bi-weekly and is available every other Thursday for your enjoyment and all links and show notes for this episode can be found at vitalicproject.com if you haven't yet, please subscribe to the show and leave a rating or review on iTunes. If you'd like to be a guest or know someone, that would be a great fit, please go to vitalicproject.com/guest. If you want to follow us, you can find us online by searching @vitalicproject. And thanks again for listening. Until next time, keep being vitalic!